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Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS

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  • Since I started reading Panda's journal, the lucky bamboo in my bathroom sprouted a whole new shoot. Coincidence? I think not.
    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

    Owly's Journal

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    • And what's wrong with charm?

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      • I'm back (briefly). Explanation in
        5....
        4....
        3....
        2....
        1....
        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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        • Gay Panda is going on vacation.

          This is happening under protest. Lady Friend believes it is healthy for me to spend some time with actual people, and occasionally she drags me away from my computer to interact with the world. As she:

          A) Can lift Gay Panda off the floor in a loving/threatening manner
          B) Controls Gay Panda’s tech
          C) Edits Gay Panda’s stories

          It is unwise to refuse.

          So Gay Panda is traveling soon to the magical land of Wisconsin, where cows tap dance in snowy pastures to Broadway musical numbers and television teaches me that everyone’s head is topped by a giant wedge of cheese.* The problem is that I need to finish the book I’m working on before vacation rudely interrupts. So I am plowing through from morning to night, and reaffirming how very hard it is to write romantic scenes when one is a prude. But writers only improve by pushing themselves out of their comfort zones, and if I drop the curtain demurely just as the lusty stable boy and young noblewoman finally reach a glissando of physical expression, Lady Friend will slaughter me.

          I have one week to complete the novel and then it will be a madhouse of intrusive TSA agents and friends of Lady Friend’s and trying to stay primal or at least not diverge too greatly. I need to brush off my very dusty Social Skills and talk about normal things like the weather, sports, politics, and Octomom instead of dragons, magical necklaces, dreams of the future, and runes. Why someone would want to talk about the weather eludes me unless one is a farmer, and politics makes me tired. That is a terrible thing to say, making Gay Panda sound like a bad citizen, and it must be concealed. I’ll have to read the news to catch up, but I’m pretty sure the latest in politics is:

          A) Someone took a naughty picture/had a naughty relationship and got caught.
          B) “You’re a flip-flopper.” “No, YOU’RE a flip-flopper!” “Nuh-uh!” “Are so!”
          C) Something was decided/not decided in Congress, and someone is upset about it.
          D) The country is in debt.
          E) Sarah Palin has an opinion.

          And sports? I used to watch my grandmother on her sporadic visits sit in front of our TV yelling at football teams. They would line up. They would pile up. They would line up. They would pile up. Then Young Gay Panda wandered back to Star Trek: The Next Generation. I don’t think I will bother brushing up on sports, and I’m already up-to-date with Octomom doing The Cinnamon Challenge. I’m sure lighting her farts on fire is next. In between finishing a book and reading about politics and the weather, I need to pack. Lady Friend says I overpack, but how can one overpack? I don’t know which shirt will make me look snazzy on any given day. It’s better just to take them all and sort it out there.

          Seven days.
          Estimated 15,000 words to write.
          GO!!!
          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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          • UPDATE: (in explanation of * and **)

            Other Facts Gay Panda Knows About Wisconsin

            1. It has long been ruled by benevolent overlord Bucky Badger, who valiantly fights alongside the Recall Fairies to expel a troll who did away with Equal Pay Enforcement.
            2. The Dells has Wizard Quest.
            3. Cheese is an acceptable form of currency.**
            4. A friend once misread the menu at a Wisconsin restaurant, her mind taking in ELK BURGER as ELF BURGER. She was astonished that elves existed. But of course they do! Who does she think puts the tops on the beer bottles in all of the breweries? Little hands, people. Little hands.

            ** Before anyone from Wisconsin reading this yells at me, be consoled. I was born there.
            JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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            • Bon chance, GayPanda!

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              • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                Gay Panda is going on vacation.
                Woohoo!
                Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                but I’m pretty sure the latest in politics is:

                A) Someone took a naughty picture/had a naughty relationship and got caught.
                B) “You’re a flip-flopper.” “No, YOU’RE a flip-flopper!” “Nuh-uh!” “Are so!”
                C) Something was decided/not decided in Congress, and someone is upset about it.
                D) The country is in debt.
                E) Sarah Palin has an opinion.
                Well A hasn't happened in a couple months, so cue news story in 5,4,3,2,1...
                B)Still ongoing, but what is the nation's deal with a person changing their mind/opinion? Do people need to carry around a book of their views or just wing it?
                C & D are spot on.
                E) She's been quiet lately, if people quit talking about her, she'll go away...the only news on the Palin front is that the daughter's baby-daddy had another baby and named it after a gun...but it is Alaska ya know?
                If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

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                • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                  Gay Panda is going on vacation.
                  Vacations are GOOD for pandas!

                  Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                  Lady Friend says I overpack, but how can one overpack? I don’t know which shirt will make me look snazzy on any given day. It’s better just to take them all and sort it out there.
                  Once I brought back 17 shirts I DIDN'T wear from a week long vacation!
                  I overpack.
                  "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
                  "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
                  "Moderation sucks." Suse
                  "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
                  "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


                  Winencandy

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                  • you guys crack me up. good luck with your word-smithing! and your trip. i hope it's filled with conversations that are actually interesting.
                    my primal journal:
                    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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                    • Originally posted by winencandy View Post
                      Vacations are GOOD for pandas!



                      Once I brought back 17 shirts I DIDN'T wear from a week long vacation!
                      I overpack.
                      oh my! i'm the complete opposite. i pack more than enough undies and socks. shirts, i pack usually one or two more than i need. and pants are like "k, i can wear this one half the week, and this one the other half." and then i throw in two skirts in case the weather is warm.
                      my primal journal:
                      http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                      Comment


                      • Politics bore me too... and Octomom annoys me.
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                        • Oh, I heard Octomom is going to dabble in adult movies, hold on, let me put my surprised face on.
                          If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

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                          • Hmph. I'd rather talk to you about dragons and magical necklaces. Way, way more interesting than Octomom. And less frightening. Even if the dragons breathe fire.
                            http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                            Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                            And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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                            • Originally posted by drssgchic View Post
                              Hmph. I'd rather talk to you about dragons and magical necklaces. Way, way more interesting than Octomom. And less frightening. Even if the dragons breathe fire.
                              where's the like button???
                              "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
                              "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
                              "Moderation sucks." Suse
                              "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
                              "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


                              Winencandy

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                                oh my! i'm the complete opposite. i pack more than enough undies and socks. shirts, i pack usually one or two more than i need. and pants are like "k, i can wear this one half the week, and this one the other half." and then i throw in two skirts in case the weather is warm.
                                Glad I'm not the only woman who packs this way! Other discoveries: jeans are too bulky to pack for longer trips, multi-functional clothes you can layer save space, and one should always pack a swim suit. Also, for trips longer than a week (especially overseas), pack a bar of laundry soap so you can wash things in your hotel room sink.

                                I spent two weeks in South Korea with a backpack, and I'm talking a larger school-type one, not a frame pack. I took a larger pack to India, but that's partly because I insisted on travelling with a small pharmacy. I am cool with washing my underpants, but I am a total Girl Guide when it comes to preparedness. I don't think you'll need rehydration salts for Wisconsin, though.
                                “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                                Owly's Journal

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