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Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS

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  • I fail to understand how they didn't cast an opera singer as the Phantom of the Opera, but what do I know? I just have this silly idea that a role should be played by someone suited to the role. Like Paris Hilton as the brainless heiress in Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008) - IMDb. Yes, I saw it, loved it, and cringed hard when I saw that she was in it. But she's been training a lifetime for the part
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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    • I dated a guy who was largely Scotch and Syrian. Makes for an interesting mix of darker skin and pretty hairy haha. He wore his dad's wedding kilt (made by the ex's mom) frequently and he would never tell anyone if he was wearing underwear or not, but I always checked.
      Depression Lies

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      • Dear Lady Friend,

        1. I HATE this new operating system you put in my computer with the latest magical tech spell. Can you reverse it? Or at least reverse the scrolling? It's making me nuts. I'll collect the eye of newt and belch of frog, or whatever you need.

        2. Gay Panda will make you a pork chop if you help me trim Avada Kedavra's wing this evening. I just spent my morning chasing her around the road with The Broom of Doom in my sick and sexyfied Jammie Ensemble.

        Today is fired,
        Gay Panda
        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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        • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
          2. Gay Panda will make you a pork chop if you help me trim Avada Kedavra's wing this evening. I just spent my morning chasing her around the road with The Broom of Doom in my sick and sexyfied Jammie Ensemble.

          Today is fired,
          Gay Panda
          hahahaha I can just picture it!! I assume Avada Kedavra's a chicken or something??
          Primal since March 5, 2012
          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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          • I dated a guy that was Irish/Puerto Rican. I thought he had blue eyes with his red hair because they always come together. Nope, brown. And he was surprised that I knew his given name was Gabriel. Dude- Catholic/Catholic, and you said your name is Gabe. Not rocket surgery.

            Turns out, his eyes probably were blue, but he was so full of shit you couldn't tell
            http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

            Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

            And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
              Every night, I tuck myself into sheets of the purest mulberry silk in claret and rest my head on a king-size cruelty-free heirloom Eiderdown pillow, and I never count the fifth woolly sheep before Iíve fallen into a blissfully deep sleep that lasts eight hours and is dreamless since my subconscious has nothing to work out in the perfect Eden of my existence.

              For the adorably gullible among you, this is all a lie. There are many reasons why I do not sleep. One we have already encountered in the League of Demonic Canines, of which Satan, Voldemort, Dr. Evil, Nurse Ratched, and Sauron play major roles with a bit part given to yappy little Professor Chaos from much farther down the block. The other reasons may appear in later installments of Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS, but last night can be blamed entirely on Benign Poltergeist and the kitty.

              Gay Panda subscribes to no religious newsletters, but this may change so that an exorcist can be hired in order to rid the house of Benign Poltergeist. I do not think exorcists make house calls for those who are not practitioners of their faith, and so I will lie and buy the necessary accoutrement, and kneel or salute or sacrifice or do whatever it is that must be done to get rid of this infernal member of my home.

              If one were to crack open the skull of the kitty, one would find nothing but bubbles and ticker tape blinking I CAN HAZ BACON? I CAN HAZ BACON? separated by shifty-eyed Pac-Man ghosts. When the sad day comes that I stand over her grave and list her lifeís accomplishments, I will be limited. Once, she stepped on a spider. There was the day she lit her tail on fire, and those travels in Narnia from getting herself trapped in closets. The time she fell asleep on the entertainment center and rolled off, and the time Lady Friend sat on her head. I will mention her nervous tic, performed daily, in which she jumped on the armrest of the recliner to sneeze on Gay Pandaís laptop screen.

              And then I will eulogize her obsession with Benign Poltergeist. While I walk on the primal treadmill and Poo Hurler hurls poo, while you out there are crossfitting and heavy lifting, Primal Coach Kitty is getting in her exercise by chasing Benign Poltergeist around the house. I have no idea what it says to get her so riled, but a tubby little tabby zooming about after nothing with a froggy war cry of WAAO-WAAAOO-WAAAOOOOO is a common sight in Gay Pandaís home.

              Sometimes Benign Poltergeist hides my cell phone or measuring spoons, but its primary enjoyment is derived from tormenting the kitty. She has not put together in 15 years that she is being played. Kitty is going to take that poltergeist DOWN! In daytime, itís funny. At nighttime, I want the exorcist. When it goes on too long, I put her outside, and she retaliates by jumping in mud and then walking across the car, or developing a hairball that can be saved until sheís let back in.

              Last night Benign Poltergeist must have been taunting the kitty with yo-mama jokes, because her level of umbrage shook the house, capsized the bottles of shampoo, and woke me at 2. I yelled at the kitty, who gave me a look that plainly meant: did you HEAR what that translucent bastard just SAID? And the ruckus continued. So an exhausted Gay Panda apologizes for a post that has nothing to do with primal, and was really just an opportunity to whine before going back to bed for a nap.
              OMG, I'm reading through your entire journal b/c I have nothing better to do (Mr. Magazine Time is me today) and I'm laughing so hysterically at this post b/c my house also has a Benign Poltergeist that my psychotic cat chases. This made me laugh so freaking hard I could no longer contain the giggles to soundless body wracks. Thank you so very much for the funniest thing I have read all year long!!
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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              • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                I love Clue-by-Four! I do think this kid will end up running afoul of the law one day, as much as I hope otherwise. Whatever he does, rest assured that he will be caught quickly (since he will promptly brag about his crime) and his parents will be in court wringing their hands (But, Judge, it's the store's fault that he stole a television!) and then when he's sentenced (But, JUDGE! It's not his fault! He's allergic to pollen!)
                This reminds me of something I heard on the radio the other day. A young male siphoned gas from a cop car, had his girlfriend record it and then promptly bragged about it on Facebook and uploaded the video. Yeah, he was arrested. Likely also allergic to pollen...
                Primal since March 5, 2012
                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
                  hahahaha I can just picture it!! I assume Avada Kedavra's a chicken or something??
                  Yes, Avada Kedavra is a little white chicken who hates you and me and everybody! Ever since she was a chick, she has HATED people. And now that we are going to catch her and clip her wing today, she is going to hate me even more!!!
                  JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                  • Oh GP, I just LMAO over on Pandaloonery!!
                    WHERE do you find those videos???
                    "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
                    "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
                    "Moderation sucks." Suse
                    "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
                    "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


                    Winencandy

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                    • Originally posted by winencandy View Post
                      Oh GP, I just LMAO over on Pandaloonery!!
                      WHERE do you find those videos???
                      "I've Got The Clap" video was sent to me by a friend last year, and I'm still giggling over it.
                      JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                      • I always wonder whether the people that make kids' shows do things like that on purpose, just to give parents something to snicker at. A friend of mine overheard this video playing on the tv while her son was watching; it took her several days to stop laughing and her kid still doesn't know why it was funny. (Apologies for the poor video quality.)

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                        • Spread the arms... Spread the legs... Spread the cheeks...

                          hahahaha that would sound SOOOO terrible from another room. No idea what show that was but that clip is rather funny.
                          Primal since March 5, 2012
                          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                          • Thats...Just.....Wrong.....!!!
                            Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

                            http://primaldog.blogspot.co.uk/

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                            • It's a kid's show called 4 Square that plays on Treehouse network in Canada. Parental consensus is that it's completely fucked and we have no idea to whom it's supposed to appeal, but it occasionally makes for entertaining parental moments.

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                              • We have Yo Gabba Gabba... we're pretty sure the co-creaters were either high on shrooms or tripping on acid when they wrote the story line. lol
                                Primal since March 5, 2012
                                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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