Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Originally posted by Candy in Wonderland View Post
    It's monday morning (at least in Europe it is ), waiting for part six!
    Well, now it's Monday morning in the Magical Bamboo Forest, so I'll put up Part Six immediately!!! (Immediately after checking it for spelling mistakes one more time.)
    JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

    Comment


    • PART SIX:

      Sometimes the Head Honchos of our contracts visited the lab. There was no warning when this was to happen. Usually they just wanted to look at our clipboards of tests, and the lab techs would quietly work around them while they perused the results. The busy season was hard on Head Honchos too, and they didn’t want to chat. Just the numbers so they could determine their company’s next move, and then they would rumble away from the lab in their trucks leaving a cloud of dust behind.

      It had been another awful day with Toodles when Big Head of Head Honcho Incorporated arrived. I do not call him Big Head in fun; he was one of the most important people representing the largest company with whom our company worked. We nodded at one another and I passed him my clipboard. Then I stepped into the adjacent kitchen for a snack since he was blocking my instruments to look over the partial stream of completed tests.

      I was exhausted. The days started before dawn and often I wasn’t home until after dark. Having to do my job and Toodles’ job on top of it was wearing me down. Mr. Magazine Time wasn’t doing anything like normal, and the nicer boss and myself had to clean up his paperwork every morning before lab work could even begin. The paperwork wasn’t difficult, but Mr. Magazine Time found the task tedious and raced through it. In this way, he and Toodles were much alike. Eating my snack in the kitchen while other employees came in and out to get their lunches, I heard Toodles attempting to kick up a conversation with Big Head. He was polite yet terse, papers flicking back and forth on the clipboard, and then Toodles said, “You know, I just don’t have any faith in these results!”

      My mouth dropped in horror. I fled back into the lab and was thankful that the CEO’s daughter, who worked with the crew, had also overheard it while coming in for her lunch box. She leaned casually on the counter by the instruments to explain that the results were indeed accurate, and Toodles began to argue. Nothing we said stopped her. Our loaded looks did not penetrate. The results were off, the machines were misreading the tests, and she could also speed up efficiency if anyone would just listen to her! Aghast and panicking, I slipped into the back room to call my boss.

      “She is telling BIG HEAD of HEAD HONCHO INCORPORATED that his lab results aren’t any good!” I whisper-screamed into the receiver.
      “Oh my God! STOP HER!” my boss cried.
      “I tried! We tried! She just keeps going! She’s told him not to trust what he gets from us! That everything all season has been worthless!”
      “Hold on!” My boss called Mr. Magazine Time to explain the situation, and then connected our calls.
      “She’s doing what?” Mr. Magazine Time exclaimed.
      “Oh my God, oh my God! We have to get Toodles out of there!” shrilled my other boss.

      And bless his lazy heart, Mr. Magazine Time worked for the first time at his job in ten years. In a brisk voice, he said, “Listen to me. Take a deep breath. Go back to the lab and hang up the phone. Interrupt whatever she is saying to tell her that I need her for a project immediately back at the main office. She is to take her purse, since she will not be coming back to the lab for the day, and drive over here. Go do that.”

      I hung up and did as I was told. Toodles hesitated, concerned that I would be left to clean up without her, but then picked up her purse and left. I did not know what to say to Big Head, but his phone rang and he quit the scene while still speaking into it. The CEO’s daughter and I stared at each other. We didn’t know what kind of damage she had just wreaked with Big Head, and only time would tell.
      JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

      Comment


      • Waaaah, the suspense!
        My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
        My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
        Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
        Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

        Comment


        • PART SEVEN:

          One question remained: what to do with Toodles?

          The tension in the lab had grown unbearable. I said hello and goodbye and answered lab-related questions, but that was it. So I stubbornly wrote my book while she demanded attention. I ignored every kick of the counter. I ignored every sigh and cry of boredom. When I did not react, she began to giggle and look at me expectantly, so that I would ask what was funny. I ignored that, too. That made her angry, and for some days she’d been giving me the cold shoulder as punishment.

          I was angry, too. My job description did not list Entertaining Toodles, and I was flummoxed about how to handle this situation. I’d worked with many other techs in years previous and we’d had a wonderful time, the lab running like a smoothly oiled machine while we turned up the radio at YMCA and spelled it out upon our stools as the instruments titrated. But I could not stand Toodles! I’d brought this problem to my nicer boss, but she answered to Mr. Magazine Time, and he put the same time and attention to this facet of his job as he did the others: none. The employees in another department gave me pitying looks whenever I was at the main office, and one confessed that they felt sorry for me having to spend ten hours a day with Toodles because the one hour*** they had to spend with her was making them crazy.

          But what she said to Big Head was beyond the pale, and if Big Head complained to the CEOs or withdrew his contract, Mr. Magazine Time was going to look very, very bad. Spurred to work, he called a meeting with the nicer boss and myself to devise a strategy. I was heartened to see him doing something at last, and within in my mental File: Mr. Magazine Time: Pros/Cons Tick Tally, I finally had a tick to put under Pros****.

          The absolute worst of Crunch Time was ending. Although it meant I’d be working at a run, it was conceivable for me to run the lab on my own. That was fine with me. Mr. Magazine Time was going to take care of Big Head with a friendly call, and never allow Toodles in the lab again. But he could not fire the wife of the Tech Guy. In his conversation with her on Big Head Day, upon explaining that her behavior was inappropriate, she’d threatened to sue the company for creating a hostile workspace. The last thing the company needed was a lawsuit, and the second-to-last thing it needed was an angry Tech Guy. He was an excellent worker but a temperamental fellow, and people tiptoed around him to keep peace. If he felt that his wife was being mistreated and quit, another employee of his caliber would be hard to find. And so the company decided to cut her a sizable severance for her month of work and let her go, which it did the next week.

          The lawsuit never materialized. She appeared at the holiday party and gave the cold shoulder to me, and also the nicer boss (for dismissing her ideas on increasing efficiency), and settled in at the table with the payroll employees to eat her sandwiches and drink her punch. I picked a table far away but could not escape that manic laugh or cries of TOODLES every time someone left her table, and one of the payroll employees upon getting a refill invited me to join them.

          “Oh, God, no!” I burst. She followed my gaze back to the table, where Toodles was sitting stiffly because the nicer boss had stopped by to say hello to Tech Guy.
          “She’s a little strange,” the payroll employee whispered. I left the party soon after that, and thankfully it was the last time I ever saw Toodles.
          Last edited by Gay Panda; 03-19-2012, 11:59 AM.
          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

          Comment


          • UPDATE: (in explanation of *, **, ***, and ****)

            * Overhearing = eavesdropping. Since Mr. Magazine Time loved to play Spy and catch people Internet-surfing, he often crept about the cubicles listening in on conversations and slyly peering around corners.

            ** My bad is a Gay Panda Pet Peeve.

            *** In the last hour before Tech Guy was finished, Toodles had taken to plopping herself down in the center of the payroll cubicles to whine about how bored she was, speak in baby talk, and recite the entire cooking procedure for whatever was on her dinner menu. Payroll in Crunch Time was overwhelmed, but nothing they said convinced her to leave, and then she started 'helping'.

            **** Mr. Magazine Time lost his solitary Pros tick the next year, when he got Nicer Boss fired.
            JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
              I left the party soon after that, and thankfully it was the last time I ever saw Toodles.
              However, it was not the last I ever heard of Toodles. Although I did not work for the company much longer (Mr. Magazine Time's firing of Nicer Boss was the last straw) I heard from a coworker that Toodles continued to show up at the main office from time to time. Bored at home and turned down twice more for jobs with law firms, she would carpool in with Tech Guy to hang out in a spare cubicle and whine about how bored she was at his place of work. Then she would sit in payroll and complain about how bored she was to be there, or visit other departments to do the same. By early afternoon, she would be sitting in their car staring at the main office in the hopes that Tech Guy would finish early and come out, but he never did.
              JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

              Comment


              • I wonder why .
                What a story, Gay Panda. I love your style...I'm off to read The Dammerung now
                My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
                My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
                Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
                Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                  and thankfully it was the last time I ever saw Toodles.

                  Phew!
                  GP, you iz a SAYNT! A lab full of instruments and no bodily harm committed!
                  I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

                  Oscar Wilde

                  Comment


                  • Wait? She didn't die?! You allowed that to LIVE?!?! Shame on you, Pandapants! Shame!
                    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                    My Latest Journal

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                      Wait? She didn't die?! You allowed that to LIVE?!?! Shame on you, Pandapants! Shame!
                      * slinks out of own journal in shame until tomorrow *
                      JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

                      Comment


                      • A restrained GayPanda is an awesome GayPanda.

                        Comment


                        • * slinks back in *

                          To win you back, I apologize in triplicate with a chapter of The Dammerung posted tomorrow, a post on when Teenaged Gay Panda was a Lifeguard Panda over at Pandaloonery, and a post here on MDA about my iodine adventure. If you're bored at work tomorrow, you will have plenty to read and kill some time.

                          Are we friends again?
                          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

                          Comment


                          • Apology accepted.

                            (I still can't believe you didn't perform a mercy killing on Toodles. That's more restraint than I'd've shown.)
                            ("Mercy killing" in that it would be a mercy to everyone else she interacts with."
                            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                            My Latest Journal

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                              * slinks back in *

                              To win you back, I apologize in triplicate with a chapter of The Dammerung posted tomorrow, a post on when Teenaged Gay Panda was a Lifeguard Panda over at Pandaloonery, and a post here on MDA about my iodine adventure. If you're bored at work tomorrow, you will have plenty to read and kill some time.

                              Are we friends again?
                              We can't quit you GP!
                              There are two wolves fighting within a man's heart, one is Love, the other is Hate. The one that wins is the one you feed.

                              My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world. - Jack Layton

                              The Primal Adventures of Griffin - Huzzah!

                              Comment


                              • BECOMING MAGICAL: AN IODINE STORY
                                A Summary of Week One

                                Although it may sound that way, I do not come to iodine lightly.

                                My opinion for many years is that vitamins and minerals should come from the food Iím eating, not jars in Whole Foods Health aisle. But here we run into an Unflattering Truth About Panda: I hate vegetables, and I donít care much for aquatic life either. (Obviously by the time it gets to me, it is in a state of aquatic death.) I eat salads begrudgingly and infrequently. I like crab and lobster, but they are expensive. So whatever Good Things are within these foods, Gay Panda does not often get them.

                                I read the entire Iodine thread and then sought every other source of Internet information I could find. Some of it came from websites with stars and exclamation points, which I discounted in favor of saner alternatives. It was frustrating work. One study contradicts another study, and that study had no controls and poor conditions, and this other study refutes them both and admits more study needs to be done. I ran the gamut from WE ARE ALL IODINE INSUFFICIENT to WE ARE ALL IODINE SUFFICIENT and everything in between. I also ran IODINE WILL CURE YOU OF EVERYTHING to YOUR BODY DOESNíT NEED IODINE FOR PRACTICALLY ANYTHING and all that fell between that. I suspect the truth is somewhere between it.

                                I have a variety of symptoms that are suggestive of a thyroid issue, but nothing appears in my lab work. I am almost always cold. I am completely heat-intolerant. I have no energy, no stamina, and the lightest activity wears me out. I nod off by day even if Iíve had a pretty good night of sleep. I canít concentrate for long even on an engaging TV show or book, and this gets worse every year. Again Iíve hit that wall at 180-185 pounds, which is too high for my build, and my body refuses to go lower. I want to get up and write, but Iím so damn tired. I donít have the energy to fight a useless fight with my HMO. I have no doubt they will want me to go back on anti-depressants, but I am not depressed. My life puts sad faces on feelings charts at times, but there is a marked difference between sad faces and depressed faces.

                                Maybe it is not iodine that I am missing, but I do not know. My major in college was Ancient Languages, not Science. Because of the limitations in my academic background, I cannot undertake this experiment with expectations. Between dozes, I am reading biochemistry textbooks and endocrinology journals, but this is outside of my realm of study and it is a slow slog. I donít want to involve hopes on such a murky area of science, and so I am just going to watch and see what happens.

                                DAY ONE
                                Unremarkable. I take the pill and go on with life, dozing in my chair as I try to work during the day. In the afternoon, I raise my hands and point them at Lady Friend, trying to summon Jedi Powers to zap her. I fail. In the evening, I have a two-hour bout of anxiety. But I was engaged in an anxiety-ridden tech problem at the time.

                                DAY TWO
                                A low-grade headache begins mid-morning. I attribute this to my own poor planning of a small breakfast and late lunch. It is also so low-grade that for long periods of time, it is barely there. At night, I dream that I am having heart palpitations. The question will remain forever unanswered: was it a dream? Or was I actually having them while I slept? Whichever it is, when I wake up the next morning, I am fine.

                                DAY THREE
                                I realize that I have been taking the wrong companion supplements, and switch to the right ones. I have no headache or anxiety, and I stay awake in the morning and am surprised that I am able to concentrate better on my reading. This may be placebo effect, but I appreciate it.

                                In the afternoon, my left arm begins to itch fiercely. I am thrilled to see a red dot. Call it cherry angioma if you will, but I prefer to think of it as an energetic hot spot. Begone, Muggle! Truthfully, I donít think it is a cherry angioma. Feeling bad for disliking Windows Vista as much as I do, Iíd gone out on the porch to hug her and lie to her about how wonderful she is, and it is probably a bug bite.

                                DAY FOUR
                                I think that I am a little more broken out than usual, but usually it comes and goes according to its own design. Knowing that there is nothing scientific about The Patch Test, I rub iodine on my arm and then tell Lady Friend to hold still. Her spot is gone in two hours. Mine is gone in five. So are the yellow cross hatch streaks I made on the other side since I was feeling decorative.

                                In the late afternoon, my brain falls apart into depression. There is no reason for my rocket trip down, but I am convinced that everyone hates me, my writing is awful, and I should just hide in my house for the rest of my life. I make plans to have a blank gravestone over my final resting place so that no one knows I am down there. It will be my final apology to the world for existing.

                                Lady Friend suggests that I am being ridiculous, and I think that she is a traitor. She suggests the Salt Flush, and I comply although that falls under File: Hippie Science: Fear of Toxins. Two hours later, I am watching Toddlers and Tiaras, and the depression is ebbing. I donít understand people who brag (not complain, but brag) about how their children DEMAND attention all the time from everyone, and I wonder if Toodlesí parents once said that about her. Then I wonder who I am to criticize someone for self-absorption, because sometimes I look at the comments in my journal left overnight and wonder what all of you are doing up at two in the morning. Then I remember that the world does not actually revolve around Gay Panda, and some of you live in other time zones.

                                DAY FIVE
                                I decided before I did this that I would not be taking iodine on the weekends, only the companion supplements. I canít find the thorough biochemistry about halogen displacement that I want, and this annoys me. How do I feel otherwise? Oogy. It is not a word, but there it is. I feel oogy throughout the morning, and by afternoon, it goes away. I raise my hands and try to zap Lady Friend again with my Jedi Powers. I fail, and then complain that iodine isnít working for me.

                                ďI find your lack of faith disturbing,Ē Lady Friend says, because she is a Star Wars dork like that.

                                DAY SIX
                                I doze in my chair most of the day. My energy is shot and so is my concentration. The panda body does not like magnesium, so I have halved the dose. The panda body is happy about that. Without needing melatonin, I fall asleep that night in a reasonable amount of time. That has happened several times this week, which is a quite unusual change from my typically awful sleep patterns.

                                DAY SEVEN
                                Instead of waking at two and three and four, I donít open my eyes until 5:43. I do not think that has happened since college, but I am still so exhausted that I donít get up until almost 10:30. There is no reason to be tired after a solid night of sleep and doing little all weekend, and I want to get up and start work. Still, Iím just wiped out. Finally, I propel myself out of bed and note that the bloat I was dreading from these supplements has failed to show. My body loves being in the 183s, and clings to it with merry intransigence. I take my pill and the other nutrients, resenting the line of pills on the counter, and sit down with my laptop to promptly start dozing. When awake, I try to remember the last time I bounced out of bed to get on with my day. I think it was back when I was 11. By the afternoon, my concentration has improved enough to let me write a long post for Pandaloonery about a hideous celebrity I met as a teenager. I can't fall asleep at night without melatonin, but on the bright side, I don't wake up every two hours.

                                Iodine is not a quick fix for so many years of being a Muggle, and now I embark on Week Two to see if anything can be done about it.
                                JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X