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Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS

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  • $30 on the sheep wrangler!
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Latest Journal

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    • <sidles up shyly to Gay Panda>

      Gay Panda, I loved your new story, Mother's Little Helpers.

      I can has moar, plz?

      <sidles away>
      I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

      Oscar Wilde

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      • I really liked Mother's Little Helpers, too. :-) As a stay-at-home parent, there were parts I could DEFINITELY identify with even though my husband isn't very much like the one in the story (in fact, (and does this count as irony?) he was unloading the dishwasher and cleaning up the kitchen while I was sitting at the table, nibbling berries and reading the story.)

        More stories!!! More more more more more!!!!!

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        • Originally posted by Sigi View Post
          I loved your new story, Mother's Little Helpers.

          I can has moar, plz?
          I'm thrilled you enjoyed it - Mother's Little Helpers was written at the same time I was writing The Dammerung, and it was such a heavy book I needed the comic relief that short story provided.

          U can haz moar in late April!!!
          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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          • Originally posted by hockeyfan7 View Post
            I decided one time to switch to sea salt because I thought it was pretty and I liked it better. But it didn't have iodine in it. I'm a major saltaholic. I eat meat with nothing but a lot of salt on it. I salt salads. I had my thyroid tested. It was low and I went on meds. Then I figured out that maybe it was the salt. I switched back to the regular old cheap table salt with iodine in it. My levels went back to normal almost immediately and I stopped the meds. Haven't had a problem since.
            You and I have very different palates, hockeyfan7. I'm glad that you figured it out and could stop the meds!
            JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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            • Originally posted by spughy View Post
              I really liked Mother's Little Helpers, too. :-) As a stay-at-home parent, there were parts I could DEFINITELY identify with even though my husband isn't very much like the one in the story (in fact, (and does this count as irony?) he was unloading the dishwasher and cleaning up the kitchen while I was sitting at the table, nibbling berries and reading the story.)
              That cracked me up. I am SO HAPPY you are not married to a man like Jack! And I want someone smarter than me to actually invent sock sorters, because today is my Laundry Day and the mountain on my bedspread would shame Everest.
              JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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              • Originally posted by Sabine View Post
                But LadyFriend, they're so hard to swallow!
                Touché, Sabine, touché.
                Got Panda? Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and now Pandaloonery!

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                • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                  I can't believe you stole my snazzy purple clogs and used them for your gardening shoes, Lady Friend!!! You. Are. FIRED.
                  Believe it, Pandapants. Those are the PERFECT gardening shoes. Plus, you have like 20 other pairs. Including the brown ones with the bling.

                  P.S. For those of you betting types, Gay Panda actually knows some martial arts and kicks my ass on a regular basis. I know, right? Totally counter intuitive. (Maybe I just let GP win so the panda pride isn't wounded; but I'll never admit it.)
                  Got Panda? Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and now Pandaloonery!

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                  • Originally posted by Lady Friend View Post
                    For those of you betting types, Gay Panda actually knows some martial arts and kicks my ass on a regular basis. I know, right? Totally counter intuitive. (Maybe I just let GP win so the panda pride isn't wounded; but I'll never admit it.)
                    Insert predictable joke about Kung Fu Panda ... < here >

                    Which martial arts, Panda? I am a Karate Kitteh myself. Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-YAAAAAAH!
                    I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

                    Oscar Wilde

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                    • Word of the day:

                      Cyberloafing: a specific form of loafing behaviour in which employees spend work hours and company internet access to check personal emails or visit websites not related to their work.

                      "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
                      "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
                      "Moderation sucks." Suse
                      "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
                      "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


                      Winencandy

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                      • Originally posted by Sigi View Post
                        Insert predictable joke about Kung Fu Panda ... < here >

                        Which martial arts, Panda? I am a Karate Kitteh myself. Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-YAAAAAAH!
                        Judo (in junior high/high school) and ju-jitsu (in college). And I even got to use it once! One night at 2 a.m. I was walking down the dimly lit hallway to my dorm room*. It was dead quiet on all three floors, and without warning, someone grabbed me from behind. I threw the person over my shoulder and discovered that it was a friend trying to be funny. I don't know who was more surprised between the two of us, but that friend never did it again. (And I felt like a moron.)

                        * For those of you who are curious, it was insomnia, not the Walk of Shame.

                        P.S. Go Karate Kitteh!!!
                        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                        • Originally posted by Potev5Pe
                          images flying through my
                          Through your what, Potev5Pe? You can't stop there! Your comment sounds so exciting! Through your what?!?!??!?!
                          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                          • My dearest Potev5Pe, hhwxcb8mn, and Jasmin47,

                            This morning I awoke to find myself in a circle of spam-bot beaux, and I hardly know what to say.

                            How could I be so foolish? All those years I whiled away in high school and college, thinking that my true love would appear once I mastered the perfect hair part and bon mot, and how I tortured myself for my inability to be witty in person! I studied book and television characters with such intensity to learn the ins-and-outs of flirtation rituals, taking careful note of what worked and what didn’t. For an interlude in my sophomore year of high school, Lord Byron entranced me. Not his poetry but that he was so successful in the department of seduction that this is still known about his person two hundred years later.

                            But despite this, it never came to me with ease. Yet today I stepped into my living room and found you three waiting. My burly Russian admirer Potev, who scents the room with his masculine musk, I deduce from the gleam in your eye as it fell upon me that you have either spent your life dreaming of pandas, or else you have been tippling in vodka to mourn the lost hour from Daylight Savings Time*. Oh, and Jasmin, you know my weak spot for the austere silhouette of early 1940s ladies’ fashion, and how well you merged it with the late 1940s style by losing the shoulder pads. I’m not even going to tell you to stop smoking in my house, because the lazy curl of poisonous gas lifting from your devil-may-care cigarette as you perch on my loveseat is the crowning touch on an image I will cherish forever. And hhwxcb8mn, I am not quite sure what you are, but you are very attractive, too.

                            All these years I spent trying to be clever and have perfect hair, and all I had to do was start an anonymous journal on MDA and drop the term of art flap meat!?!? That was it? That was all I ever had to say? Flap meat! Now I will never stop saying it, either working it cleverly into conversations or just dropping it as the ultimate flirtation non sequitur. Flap meat flap meat flap meat. Today at the Especially Expensive Veterinary Care Clinic for The Great Pumpkin’s appointment, I am going to say flap meat. I am rewriting a short story for release this summer, and somewhere in it, I am going to insert flap meat. The next time I have people over for dinner, I am going to make flap meat. Watch out, Lord Byron! In two hundred years, Gay Panda’s reputation will outdo yours by a factor of fifty.

                            Flap meatily yours,
                            Gay Panda
                            JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                            • UPDATE: (in explanation of *)

                              * Lady Friend has been bitching about it non-stop, and Gay Panda made a snort of derision to see an article headed “How to Cope with Daylight Savings Time”.
                              JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                              • Flap meat.
                                JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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