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  • Wt 252.2, down .4 I'll take it, .4 every day is 2.8 a week, I would love that!!!

    So today is a discussion of LOVE...it being St. Valentine's Day and all....

    So the 5 love languages. I have decided that not only do we each have a love language in which we can recognize that the other person is trying to tell us they love us, but we have a love language which we use to tell others we love them.

    The love language I use to tell others that I love them is basically service with a smidge of giving. The giving generally being something I made or did, and so I think really primarily service.

    I think this probably works out pretty well for my husband, because it seems his love language, the one in which he recognizes someone else is saying they love him is ...service.

    But the love language I recognize as someone telling me they love me is physical touch. And that runs the entire spectrum, basically any purposeful touch counts.

    Unfortunately that is not the language that DH uses to show love. And actually, since I feel so deprived of it, I can't even tell you what he uses to show love, I am so focused on the lack of physical touch. This is not purposeful, but it is hard to ignore a big pink elephant in the middle of the room.

    So since I feel deprived of that affection and intimacy, I tend to withhold (not consciously) the services he would recognize. They are quite simple really, but I just don't think to do them, it makes me fell like the maid, don't love that. Doesn't feel like I am showing him I love him, just that I have to do this so he we can get along.

    So, how do you let someone know? Yes I have told him, that doesn't work, at least not the way I told him I guess. Plus it starts to feel like begging, not a good feeling.

    As to the ED. His doc has him on statins, but the problem started before that. So while I don't think they are helping him, it is not the whole issue. His doc tested his testosterone, apparently it is within the normal range. Not sure what that means, but I plan to make up a list of possible tests and their results and that will be one I ask about.

    Sure his vitamin D was not tested, or that he was tested for anemia. Sure they didn't test nitric oxide, or potassium. He does drink nightly, and he is in a high stress job.

    And I have a list of possible nutritional supplements including the amino acid arginine, bioflavonoids, zinc, vitamin C, vitamin E, and flaxseed meal have been used to improve erectile function.

    I am making a list, to chat about so that he can talk to his doc about it.

    The thing is that this is obviously a health issue, not just a relationship one. Something is not right, need to figure out what it is.
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
    Unknown

    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

    Comment


    • Is there a quiz to find your love language?
      Karin


      Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

      What am I doing? Depends on the day.

      Comment


      • Karin, I just took the quiz online. There are a couple of choices on Google. I am Service and my husband is Physical Touch. HMMMM
        Primal since 9/24/2010
        "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

        Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
        MFP username: MDAPebbles67

        Comment


        • the thing I find so interesting is that I show love in a different way than I want to receive it. I show love by doing and making things for people, I receive it physically. When the kids were little, the three of us would be a pile on the couch in front of the tv or reading a book. My kids still put their feet on my lap, or at least are bumped up against me, when watching tv, or if we are reading/knitting in the same room.
          Chris
          "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
          Unknown

          My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

          My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

          Comment


          • So found the quiz.. my results were
            7 words of affirmation
            7 quality time
            2 receiving gifts
            6 acts of service
            8 physical touch

            looks like I want it all but the gifts LOL.. I do like presents though..
            Karin


            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

            What am I doing? Depends on the day.

            Comment


            • Yeah, I think if my husband took the test for himself he would be pretty equal in words, touch and time.
              Primal since 9/24/2010
              "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

              Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
              MFP username: MDAPebbles67

              Comment


              • pretty sure mine would get maybe a 1 or 2 on everything except service.

                I just took it online...

                8 words of affirmation
                7 quality time
                2 receiving gifts
                2 acts of service
                11 physical touch

                May be skewed because I feel so touch deprived though?
                Chris
                "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                Unknown

                My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                Comment


                • I should be working, not reading journals & taking quizzes

                  7 affirmation
                  10 quality time
                  3 gifts
                  9 service
                  1 touch

                  Gotta get him to do this (though I know what his answer is).
                  -- Ruth

                  Comment


                  • This is so not what I should be doing today . . .

                    8 Words of Affirmation
                    8 Quality Time
                    4 Receiving Gifts
                    5 Acts of Service
                    5 Physical Touch
                    JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

                    Comment


                    • DH is just about equal between touch, service, and time. He's a good sport!
                      -- Ruth

                      Comment


                      • Now come on, what could you possibly do that is more important than this?

                        Dh would NEVER take a quiz like this, NEVER, not even as a joke!

                        BTW, Panda, LOVE love love your writing, wish I could do half as well as you do with the English language!
                        Chris
                        "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                        Unknown

                        My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                        My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                        Comment


                        • Yay, the Panda has arrived! Love your journal.

                          Chris, I wonder if I am service because I am not getting much help around the house from my men.

                          I actually talked to my husband about the love languages. It was in response to his correcting my eating ettiquette at the restaurant. Truth is, I was never taught the finer points by my parents, but I am not a heathen. Anyway, I got a little peeved at him and went silent for a while. On the way home I talked about how I am service and words of affirmation where I believe he is touch and time. I told him that I loved all the wonderful things he did for me today, but when he criticizes my behavior it is unecessary and hurtful. I think he actually got it. We had a nice talk. He comes from a very critical background and that at times clashes with my live and let live way. I feel he is too uptight. He feels that I am too laid back.
                          Primal since 9/24/2010
                          "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                          Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                          MFP username: MDAPebbles67

                          Comment


                          • DH and I are much the same, except my hubs has learned not to criticize, well except when I am driving but that is another story. It is good that you had a chance to let him know that the critical comments are unnecessary and hurtful and unlikely to change anything but your attitude. My husband is from a German background and has all the stereotypes of rigidity that brings, and my family is Mediterranean and have all the stereotypes of the loud boisterous out going type that that brings. Funny thing is that is part of what attracted us to each other in the first place, and is a huge part of how our lives have been so successful since. BUT, there are times...
                            Chris
                            "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                            Unknown

                            My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                            My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                            Comment


                            • WT 251.6. down .6, and below the 252 that was the high weight of both my pregnancies. I seem to have got this figured out for now...10,000 steps and at least 9 different veggies (on top of the other things I had already instituted) seems to be the ticket. Now if I could just get into bed by 9:30 I suspect that my losses would go a bit quicker. Maybe that will give me something to work on the next time I hit a plateau.
                              Chris
                              "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                              Unknown

                              My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                              My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                              Comment


                              • WT 251.8 up .2, the loss cannot be linear the body does not work that way!

                                Things that I did yesterday that probably didn't help...

                                I had coffee instead of tea, twice, just cause I wanted something creamy, but that is extra calories and not as good a job at water reduction.

                                I have to eat dinner late on Wednesday. 8:30 by the time I get home and get it prepared. Makes it even harder to think about going to bed at 9:30.

                                I had a serving of raw almonds after dinner, not really hungry but wanted the crunch.

                                Net result of the day...not nearly enough fluids and too many calories, oh and in bed way too late (11 instead of 9:30)

                                So odd that after all I have stopped eating and started doing that getting into bed on time seems to be my biggest struggle right now! It seems obvious that this has to do either with something inside of me that wants to hold onto the weight, Because while in the past I can now say that while I thought I knew what I needed to do, I did not have the whole true story. But now I believe I do, and while I seem to have found a combination that works well for me, the sleep issue remains illusive. And it is really about just getting in bed right now, as my quality is wonderful....



                                or the Akrasia that Mark is talking about. Gonna go back and reread the article on it and see if I can figure out how to over ride it.
                                Chris
                                "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                                Unknown

                                My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                                My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                                Comment

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