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Rachel's Freedom, July 2011-July 2012

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  • Rachel's Freedom, July 2011-July 2012

    Yes, I'm officially committing for a year. Why? Because I have nowhere else to go. At this point in my life, it's eat my version of primal or gain weight and be seriously unhealthy. I'm choosing the freedom of primal eating over dieting and am looking forward to a breakthrough year in terms of emotional and spiritual freedom as well. This is the year that I break the bonds of fear and anxiety that have been holding me back and keeping me from moving forward.

    As of this morning, I'm eight-ten pounds away from my ideal weight. I'm okay with taking a year to get there. I've been at my ideal weight in the recent past, but I got there too fast and in a way that was not sustainable. So my weight goal for this year is sustainable weight loss.

    But it's no longer just about my body or my body fat percentage. It's about figuring out how to feel my best and getting past the fatigue, nightmares, and doubts that are holding me back in my every day life. That's what's really going to be freeing.

  • #2
    Yay! Go for it Rachel!
    Ancestral Health Info

    I design websites and blogs for a living. If you would like a blog or website designed by someone who understands Primal, see my web page.

    Primal Blueprint Explorer My blog for people who are not into the Grok thing. Since starting the blog, I have moved close to being Archevore instead of Primal. But Mark's Daily Apple is still the best source of information about living an ancestral lifestyle.


    • #3
      Thank you, Hedonist!

      I am exhausted this morning. I had a dream/nightmare last night, and I know I am still getting adjusted to the Celexa. At least I had a mild hunger signal this morning instead of feeling like I was going to be sick if I ate anything. Until I get past this adjustment, I'm doing my best to drink a protein shake (about 50 g) for breakfast. Lunch today is my homemade taco salad, and I cooked up a tray of pork chops and chicken so I have choices for dinner.

      I would really love to go home and sleep all day, but here I am at work, sipping on my large iced Americano and yawning. Hopefully I can buckle down and get some work done on a skin care project I'm writing.

      Oh, and I got my vitamin D levels retested. I was at 14 in March, and I'm at 28 now, which is better but still too low. I'm on 5000 iu daily now.


      • #4
        For those of you who don't know me from my previous journals, let me tell you a little bit more about myself.

        I'm 5'5, 143 pounds, age 44--will be 45 on October 1. I wear a size 6 in women's and a size 9 in juniors. I work as an editorial manager for a nutritional supplement company. I'm a single mom with a daughter who is 13, and I've been dating my DBF for a year in September. He's on board with the "Rachel version" of primal. He's lost weight just by dumping soda, sugar, and processed junk food. One of the great things that's already happened for him is that he's stopped snoring! This is in addition to his pants getting too big!

        I have a long history of dieting, beginning with a low fat diet about twenty years ago. My lowest dieting weight...via low fat or low the last twenty years has been 124 pounds. When I'm not watching what I eat, I can go up to about 155, which was my highest weight about two years ago. At that weight, I start having physical problems, including high blood pressure. In the last three years, I've gotten to 132 twice...once on the hcg diet, which was my biggest dieting mistake ever, and once with a personal trainer, in which I starved myself for a week to get a low final weight. No more "dieting" behavior to lose ten pounds...just good healthy eating.

        I wrote about my other challenges in my first post...fatigue, nightmares, and fear.

        I've modelled my eating after the rules of the Leptin Diet, which are similiar to the rules proposed by Dr. K. in his blog. My version is this:

        1. Eat a high protein breakfast. 30-50g of protein. The goal is to keep me full and reduce snacking throughout the day so that my body has a chance to do it's work between meals. Also, the high protein breakfast helps me concentrate and keeps me more focused.
        2. Don't snack--eat three meals a day. See comment above.
        3. Eat a variety of real whole foods. I eat meat, dairy, fruits, vegetables, nuts, healthy fats, dark chocolate, red wine, potatoes and rice (I got the idea to eat potatoes and rice from The Perfect Health Diet.)

        I'm still working on dialing in the exercise portion. See problems with fatigue above. For now, I'm trying to do a walk after dinner or during the week on a daily basis. A new gym is opening up across the street from me on September 1, and I'm excited about being able to work out there on a regular basis.

        I did Primal towards the end of my sessions with my personal traner and returned to it this March. I've maintained a two-four pound loss while eating this way, which isn't a huge amount. However, it's easy to do, I have lots of variety, my boyfriend is on board, and like I said in my first post...I really have nowhere else to go. I've tried it all, and this is the approach that feels the most intuitive and the most natural for me.
        Last edited by RachelZoe; 07-06-2011, 09:29 AM.


        • #5
          Hi Rachel
          Just wanted to let you know that my vitamin D levels were in the mid 20's and my internist had me on 50,000 iu's of prescription vitamin D once a week and was rechecking me every 2 months.
          I'm finishing up a short round of hCG right now and then will segue into Primal. I know that hCG is ultimately not the best way to go, but I was very overweight had lost 40 lbs (with 30-40 more to go), addicted to sugar and my weight was beginning to creep back up because I started eating sugar again. I gained back about 15 lbs and desperately needed to get control. I've also tried it all and agree with you that this is an intuititive, natural way of life. I'm 58, 5' 2" and currently 169, I was 209 last Thanksgiving.
          Once I'm Primal for awhile (another week of hCG) I'll probably do the Leptin protocol, too, so I'm reading your journal with interest.
          Last edited by indigogirl; 07-06-2011, 03:10 PM.


          • #6
            Hi Indigogirl,

            My doctor had me on 50,000 IU a week for about 3 months, which brought my levels from 14 to 28. I'm now supplementing 5K daily to see if I can bump them to a more optimal range.

            The hcg really messed me up--invoked a starvation response in me. I became obsessed with thinking about food. I'd literally sit at work and look up recipes all day long and would go walk around different grocery stores at night. I struggled to maintain because my brain was all screwed up from the low calories...started bingeing as soon as I finished my round, rapidly regained, and had a difficult time losing weight for a couple of years afterwards (just couldn't force myself to restrict any food at all.) With that said, I know everyone is different, and I totally get the concept behind doing hcg as a jumpstart.

            Thanks for posting and keep me informed about your progress!



            • #7
              You can do it Rachel!

              I had a one year goal as well and, to be honest, I didn't think I'd even get close. I started in January at almost 187 and am at 154 now so I have 6 months to lose 14 more lbs. At my current rate of 4 lbs a month, I'll could be there by October!
              Newcomers: If you haven't read the book, at least read this thread ... and all the links!

              Jan. 1, 2011: 186.6 lbs PBSW Mar. 1, 2011: 175.8 lbs
              CW: 146.8 lbs
              GW 140 lbs
              A proud member of PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals


              • #8
                I'm excited for you! It sounds like you really have things down now, so I'm sure you'll do great!


                • #9
                  Hi Belinda, that's wonderful progress! I think a year goal will help me keep things in perspective and help me better understand the ups and downs of what my body is doing over the course of time.

                  Rita, thank you! I feel like I have the knowledge dialed I just need to get the emotional and exercise stuff dialed in. It will happen.

                  I'm wiped out this morning, but at least I don't feel sick to my stomach. My doctor told me that taking Celexa would be like not taking anything at all, and I do have to disagree. Side effects that I've had so far: fatigue, yawning, headaches, nausea, lack of appetite, and did I mention, fatigue? I would really like nothing more than to go home and take a nap, but I have three meetings in a row this morning, and I need to perform.

                  I did a 50g protein shake for breakfast. It was that or nothing. All I could stand to eat.

                  And last night, I had the worst carb cravings I've had in some time. I really wanted a plate of thick whole wheat pancakes with blueberries and lots of butter and maple syrup drenching eat bite. I feel like I saw this breakfast in a movie. I don't eat wheat, and I don't like "fake" pancakes (i.e. made with coconut flour or almond flour) so I'm avoiding this craving. I've also been dreaming about food since I've been on the Celexa...I had a dream that I ordered four double cheeseburgers from Burger King and ate almost two of them before I remembered that I'm allergic to gluten and don't eat bread.

                  Weight today was 142.8.


                  • #10
                    Good news...I made it through the nighttime feeding frenzy without eating bacon or chocolate, which means that yesterday was a successful non-snacking day. Unfortunately, I was so tired when I got home from work that all I did was eat a spinach and chicken salad and then I took a nap and watched a "Police Women of Broward County" marathon. I know. Really primal. No walk or anything.

                    The good news this morning is that I think the Celexa "flu"...worse than any low carb flu I ever lifting. I think. Although I didn't want to get up this morning, I managed to take a shower, do my make up nicely, and put on a dress with a new sweater and new shoes. I'm still tired, but I think I might be better than yesterday.

                    Didn't feel like drinking a too sweet protein shake for breakfast, so I had four pieces of bacon, which is not enough protein. I doubt I'll get to lunch with no hunger today. I've packed two porkchops and some spinach salad for lunch.

                    I head up to my boyfriend's house after work tonight, and I usually don't post from his place. So, I'll wish everyone a happy weekend, and I'll post again on Sunday night!


                    • #11
                      I've been struggling. Getting used to Celexa has been a tough experience for me. I started having problems with a rapid heartbeat over the weekend, as well as wanting to binge on everything that's not good for me. My doctor put me on a beta blocker, and I finally feel good again. My appetite is back, and I'm ready to leave my binge behind and go forward. Perhaps I'll even feel like going for a walk tonight instead of feeling like I only have the energy to sit on the couch and choose which tv show I'm going to watch next.

                      Stomach is growling so I'm going to have some cottage cheese for breakfast.


                      • #12
                        BTW, I'm in a bit of information overload right now. I thought I wanted to do three meals with no snacking, but now I'm rethinking it. Maybe I will go back to eating when I am hungry. I don't want to be snacking all the time, but I don't always feel like eating proper meals, either. And although I like the benefits of eating a large protein breakfast, I don't always feel like eating breakfast in the first place.

                        I think I'm going to go back to eating when I'm hungry for now, but try to include a higher protein breakfast.

                        Sometimes I spend too much time trying to make all of this make sense. I think I sometimes put too much emphasis on physical issues, i.e. losing ten pounds and finding the perfect way to eat in place of spending time on emotional issues. Seems much easier to focus on losing weight than it does to focus on conqueroring my fear and anxiety.