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CMinnetta's 30 Day Challenge Journal

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  • #16
    Tuesday, July 12th - Day 12

    Today's weight: 166.4

    Weight loss is continuing! I'm definitely into fat burning mode.Am expecting it to stall at anytime but Ill keep enjoying it while it seems "easy".

    And it does seem easy. I've been able to stop eating by my set time at night for 4 days now and after the first night it has become increasingly easier. Last night it barely even registered.

    Tomorrow I'm going to give Tabata sprints for my a.m. workout. I'm looking forward to the challenge but I'm also looking forward to being able to sleep in a little later than normal. Sleep and a good workout - this is so cool!

    I'm waiting to receive my copy of the Hidden FOod Allergies book, which I suspect is going to provide the evidence I am insisting on having before i give up some of the foods that my ALCAT identified as intolerances. I've been trying to pay closer attention and it's starting to seem as if the cheese is causing me some mild gastric problems. Not sure about the cocoa powder that I out in my smoothies. But I'll cross that bridge when I get my book.


    • #17
      Wednesday, July 13th - Day 13

      Today's weight: 166.4

      Did my first Tabata sprint workout this morning as planned and all I can say is "WHOA!" I was skeptical that 4 minutes or even 20 minutes of interval spints could accomplish anywhere near the results I expected to get from my 60 minutes of high intensity cardio (I say "expected" because I was getting increasingly less of a payoff for all the time and effort I was putting in). Well consider me one of the converted! After the first 4 minute set on my startionary bike, I couldn't believe how my heart was raising. For a minute I thought I might pass out and that there was no way I could do any more, but after 2 minutes of rest I was ready for another round. By the time round 3 came, I was determined to finish the full cycle. I made it but but the sweat was pouring off of me and I was panting like crazy, trying to catch my breath. Despite this, I felt a huge sense of accomplishment and a surge of energy unlike any I've ever had after an hour of pounding away on the elliptical. All this in only 20 minutes! Can't wait until next week when I get to do it again!


      • #18
        THursday, July 14th - Day 14

        Today's Weight: 168.4

        I could kick myself! Just spend 40 minutes pouring out my heart in this journal, walking through what led to my first major slip in the PB plan and detailing all the reasons I wanted to adopt the PB lifestyle in the first place, and then I inadvertently zapped it before saving. I don't have time now to re-write it all but I guess I don't need to do that to remember the conclusions it led me to, so I will just bottom line them here.

        1. I am renewing my commitment to the PB lifestyle, pledging to eat 3 whole foods meals per day, unless I am skipping a meal as part of an IF in which case I will not substitute primal "snacks" for the meal

        2. I will not allow my lapse of overnight binge eating turn into a relapse; I recommit to abstain from eating after 10pm at night starting tonight

        3. I am placing a moratorium on primal baked treats for 30 days from today, which will take me to the day before I leave for vacation. I will toss out what I have remaining in the fridge now and will not make any more. This is going to be the toughest of all of these to stick to, but I can do anything for just 30 days!

        4. I will review my Hiddden Food book when it comes today or tomorrow, but I don't need to wait for it to give my test results a thorough review and identify the foods that are currently staples in my diet that I will need to consider eliminating from my diet, at least for a short time as recommended to lessen my intolerance of them.


        • #19
          Saturday, July 16th - Day 16

          Today's Weight: 168

          Call it Primal Lifestyle meets Emotional Eating. I had to know that at some point my history of disordered eating would bump up against my desire to adopt the primal lifestyle but I guess on some level I was hoping against hope that getting out from under the influence of the frankenfood chemicals would also magically address all the emotional issues that have been the driver of my emotional eating struggles of the past, but I guess that would be looking for the easy way out of something that has been a struggle for 20+ years. But that's OK, I don't need easy, I just need to keep plugging away at it and making progress, and that I know I can do with this lifestyle.

          THe thing that is holding me back right now is my fear of life without "treats". WHile there is plenty of room for primal baked goods in the lifestyle, it will impede my health and weight goals if I use them as binge food in place of the frankenfoods. 10 primal brownies is still 9 brownies too many. SO why am I so afraid? What is it exactly that I think will happen to me if I don't have these foods as options, even though I can eat my fill of all of this other delicious healthy food? I certainly won;t be starving or deprived by any means.

          But what I will be lacking is the distraction from my life and work problems that these foods provide, and the false and very temporary feeing of comfort. I need to remember however that it is just a smoke screen. THe problems are still there no matter how much bingeing I do, no matter how numb I feel from stuffing myself. Remember that - the food is just a smokescreen.

          I want this, I need this, I can do this!
          Last edited by cminnetta; 07-16-2011, 09:12 AM.


          • #20
            Saturday, July 16th - Part Two

            So when I typed the first entry I was trying to pump myself up but the attempt fell short so I decided to search the forum to see if anyone else out there was also dealing with disordered eating while trying to adopt the primal lifestyle, and came across a stream of posts that contained a wealth of motivating and inspiring information. SOme of the things I want to make sure I remember for my own journey:

            "You cant 'baby' an eating disorder- it doesnt work like that and EVERY SINGLE sufferer should know the justifications one's mind will make up and the ED will LITERALLY believe as truth. change it, accept recovering. it involves SO much b/c it means changing your ENTIRE life, every breath of every day and every thought of every theyre not curable, but you accept what you were born with and that your brain is neurologically 'off'....ED's are really mental disorders and the repair for them is via food."

            "You have to decide FOR SURE if you really do want to get better and get off the crazy train, or if you are just going on yet another diet scheme with this Primal thing. If the former, it's gonna take some time. Healing takes time; dieting does not."

            "One of the things I did - and I know we're all different - when I was in recovery from my eating disorder was to really learn to appreciate my body for the amazing piece of machinery and genius engineering that it is. Rather than punishing it for being "too this" or "not-enough that," I learned to trust that my body wanted nothing more than pure, unadulterated homeostasis. It wanted and needed to be left alone to do its own thing, without me meddling. That really helped me get through the tough times I was having a few weeks back. I just told myself to BACK THE HELL OFF and let the body do what it needed to do. And sure enough, it came through for me. It was holding onto that fat for reasons that I don't need to understand. It let go of it when it was ready.

            Your body is learning how to burn stored fat and process dietary nutrients properly. There will be ups and downs on this process. A line that is frequently told to very obese patients that are trying to lose weight is: "You didn't gain this weight quickly, so don't expect to lose it quickly." That same idea can be applied to those of us with metabolic derangements or eating disordered pasts or whathaveyou. It took us our whole entire lives to completely screw up our systems; we need to give our bodies due time to get it all back on track. We need to be patient and kind."

            Every time you allow yourself to partake in a meal of unreal food the malfunctioning neural circuits which we have accepted do not work correctly are strengthened- like a cocaine addict who takes just one more hit. Now you are left completely at a loss when trying to figure out why you do what you do you and resort to assuming helplessness. The only blame is the part of your brain that aint working but you needed to have accepted it. Most of ‘our’ minds operate purely on impulse so doing something like saying I WILL NEVER BIINGE OR STARVE AGAIN probably won’t get you too far. Same with self blame and self hate- reaction to impulse.

            Our brains are going to have f8cked up neural circuits and they are going to fire, you just have to engage other circuits to weaken them (eat real food, plain). You can’t reinforce them 24/7.

            Don’t do stupid things. If you binige, you’re going to eat all the oreos if you buy them. Don’t go browsing the junk food isle at the gas station, don’t drool over a vending machine and do your best to turn the channel when the new brownie cereal commercial comes on.

            Seriously, many people will waste their entire lives suffering because they would rather die, lose a foot; lose their vision than give up _______. Stop being a baby, use your noggin and accept it. Food while healing is medication. Some is off limits- A LOT IS NOT.

            Thanks to all the incredible women who posted these words of wisdom and too many others for me to copy. NOW I feel pumped up FOR REAL to keep moving forward with my primal life!
            Last edited by cminnetta; 07-16-2011, 11:41 AM.