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  • TUESDAY
    Bfast: boiled eggs
    Activity: 2h roller derby
    Dinner: chicken, squash, blueberries & coconut milk, small amount of red wine and 3 slices of parmesean
    (practice was hard and I really wanted a few bites of leftover rice, but the Diet Gods smited my leftovers and I spilled the container all over the stovetop and kitchen floor)

    I was going to fast today, but by about 3PM I was cold and cranky so I went ahead and ate.
    I'm not going to do the anti-sweetener challenge anymore. Here in the dark depths of winter it's a challenge just to get up in the mornings and dodge all the holiday goodies. Also, when I do challenges I tend to let other things slide, so I'm just going to focus on CONSISTENCY and not having weekend-long freak outs.

    This week our 3rd IUI attempt failed and I did not use it as an excuse to go face-first into a bucket of popcorn. El Hubbo's starting to make noises about adoption, but I really want our own baby. However, I suspect there's something seriously wrong, like my eggs are inpenetrable. I know they can cut one open and insert a sperm, but then I'd worry something is wrong with the genetic material and a "successful" pregnancy would just bring more suffering into the world.
    Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
    Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
    "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

    Comment


    • Don't give up hope. I don't know your full story (about having had doctors look into the state of both of your reproductive systems to whatever extent is an option), but you are living a healthy life and you are in the best possible situation for fertility! Worrying will only get you sick, just keep moving forward.

      I'm limiting my sweet treats to fruits (rarely because I never buy them) and a square of 85% or 90% dark chocolate every night.
      Depression Lies

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      • I'm sorry the IUI failed, but the fact that you got bad news in the winter and didn't go for the popcorn is a cause to celebrate. Maybe your body just isn't quite ready for a second life yet- but you seem to be moving in the right direction! Fingers crossed that the momentum keeps up.

        All hail the Diet Gods when they keep us on track even against our will!
        http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

        Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

        And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

        Comment


        • Definitely don't give up! My cousin, who had a miscarriage and had invitro fail twice, went to a seminar where they had you eliminate sugars, wheat and use some Chinese herbs, and had a successful pregnancy after that.
          Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

          Comment


          • A few paleo sites are promoting http://healthybabycode.com/signup
            Diver Girl goes Primal Journal

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            • Thanks guys.... I admit that I do have some conflicting feelings about the whole thing, I mean, I didn't get married til I was 39, so up til then the whole idea was "DON'T GET PREGNANT!"; a selfish part of me wants to lose the extra weight before I swell up like a walrus; I get a little panicked when I think about trying to finish my PhD while pregnant; but then there's the idea of wanting to make El hubbo and my parents happy (don't get me wrong, it would make me happy too) plus all the pressure of knowing every month increases chances of birth defects.......... Ugh. Ultimately, I suspect an out of state IVF isn't any more expensive than an adoption.
              Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
              Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
              "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

              Comment


              • WEDNESDAY

                Bfast: boiled egg, chicken
                Lunch: scrambled eggs w/ cheddar, apple
                Activity: TRX flexibility. I'm grouchy and sore, thought this would help
                Dinner: chicken fried steak (coconut), braised cabbage, red wine

                I have two tasty recipes por vous guys: the first is the dessert I took to Thanksgiving and the other is a another way to eat beef tongue!

                Pumpkin pie creme brulee: obviously a special occasion dish, though you could leave out all the sweetener and be left with a pretty healthy primal dessert. I used Alton Brown's creme brulee recipe, except that I steeped 1t of pumpkin pie spice in place of the vanilla bean and added 1/2c of pumpkin puree (from a can) before putting it all in the waterbath. I probably used less sugar, too. When I used to bake I usually halved the sugar in recipes. The best part of this dish is that the plumber left a blow torch in the garage!!

                The teriyaki lengua came out really good. El Hubbo said, "what kind of meat is this, prime rib?" Otter said, ".....beef tongue." El Hubbo paused for a second, helped himself to another serving and said, "I can't believe you used to be a vegetarian."

                I boiled the tongue without any spices. I read somewhere that the membrane prevents the tongue from absorbing flavors, so why bother?
                When cooked and cool enough to handle, remove membrane and scrape off the grody tastebud layer beneath.
                Chill in fridge overnight (or until completely cold). Cut into 1/2" thick slices, fry in 1T oil over medium heat until crisp and brown and lovely. The meat gives up a LOT of fat so start with just enough to keep it from sticking. Drain off most of the fat.
                Sauce: I had about 1T of commercial hoisin sauce dregs to which I added about 1/2c very hot water, about 1/4c soy sauce, and healthy shakes of garlic powder, onion powder, and ginger powder. Add a little heat (i.e. sricha sauce) if desired.
                Dump sauce into frying pan with browned meat and let it cook down for about a minute.
                This was pretty salty so it tastes really good with something mild and bland like cauliflower rice/grits. I really liked the texture that frying gives the tongue, a lot of fat rendered out and it was still very tender, but less mushy than if it were just boiled.
                Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
                Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
                "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

                Comment


                • Well, the good news is that I'm being productive. The bad news is I haven't been around MDA, but I haven't been tracking my food either. Diet hasn't been stellar, there was an end-of-term get-together for my lab last Friday at an Italian restaurant. I was planning on getting a salad, but then it turned out they were just ordering pizzas to share. I thought about saying, "I'm just here for the company" and not eating. Then I got hungry and thought that I could just scrape off the toppings and throw away the crust without attracting too much attention, but as soon as that first slice hit my plate I felt all that resistance drain out of me (hangs head). I didn't have any ill-effects from it, but then I haven't weighed myself all weekend either =D. Sunday was Papa Otter's birthday (cake!) and yesterday was an impromptu celebration for a friend who passed his comps. Everyone wanted to go for sushi, so I got a tekadon, which is kind of a deconstructed sushi (bowl of seasoned rice with fish on top) so I could control the fish:rice ratio. I still ate more rice than I should have.

                  Argh!

                  Remember: swimming suit in January! In Public!
                  Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
                  Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
                  "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

                  Comment


                  • Hmm, these things happen? At least you've been the good kind of busy! Maybe this will be one of those carb-ups that sparks a weight "whoosh." One can hope, right?
                    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

                    Comment


                    • Hmm, these things happen? At least you've been the good kind of busy! Maybe this will be one of those carb-ups that sparks a weight "whoosh." One can hope, right?
                      I can chalk the first big cheat up to leptin-reset, but the rest...........
                      Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
                      Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
                      "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

                      Comment


                      • holy shit, it's Thursday already
                        Yesterday was kind of a fail day again...... I was fine until I went to a roller derby committee meeting at a mexican restaurant where I had a Diet Coke and a bunch of nachos. I'm having difficulty being primal in restaurants lately, even though the carbs have been giving me a stomach ache. Unfortunately, we eat out a LOT and when we go to visit the in-laws at Christmas, we will eat out constantly.

                        I think I'm in hibernation mode, so I'm hoping a little sun will cure some of the willpower issues.

                        Also, I think I was sick this weekend. I had a terrible weekend where I felt thwarted at every turn. Also, my "ravens" came back. That's my analogy for painful emotional memories that pop up out of nowhere and tear at you. All of them are stupid tiny things, like the only time I cheated on a test. There's one that still plagues me and I have no idea why. I was dating this one man (back in my mid 20's) who was handsome, kind, thoughtful, sweet, and DUMB as a ROCK.

                        In particular was this one incident where he had a liquid-filled ice cream scoop. He put it in the dishwasher and afterward, you could feel that the liquid had solidified into a lump that rattled when you moved the handle. I told him it was ruined from the dishwasher and, with a stubborn little expression on his face he said.............................."It's supposed to be like that." I don't remember my reply at the time, but now I feel like screaming "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

                        It was kind of a hard breakup in the end because he was a good boyfriend, but I realized we would never have an intelligent conversation and that his punchlines were never going to be funny (he told nonsensical "jokes" like a toddler who has just learned what jokes are and hasn't quite gotten the hang of it). This makes me a raging bitch who can't appreciate a good man.

                        See, why is this bugging me almost 20 years later? The ravens been under control for a quite awhile since I went through the Sedona Method book and audio course. Instead of stuffing down emotions (they'll just pop up when you're weak and rip you with their claws) you simply let them go. And once they're gone, they're gone (although there may be several associated with a particular incident).

                        Anyway, it was a terrible weekend and I felt angry and wounded the whole time. Then it suddenly cleared up and El Hubbo came down with a really bad cold. So I'm wondering if I gave it to him. I was thinking my cold manifested itself as depression instead of the usual upper respiratory symptoms.
                        Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
                        Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
                        "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

                        Comment


                        • Oh my god, the memories come flooding back. Confession is cathartic, isn't it?

                          I had a potted mini-rose that I kept out on the deck. As I was going away for a week, I asked boyfriend to water it for me. When I returned it was dead, brown, and completely crunchy. He told me he watered it every day and demonstrated by picking up the spray bottle and spritzing the leaves. When I expressed frustration that that wasn't watering, he said, "I saw you do it."

                          I know he knows how to water plants because he bought a fake ficus tree and watered it because he thought the runny glue blobs were sap.

                          Another time when I went out of town I asked him to watch the cat. I made a lasagna and left it in the fridge to encourage him to visit her daily (and have a bit of lasagna for dinner). He ate the WHOLE pan in one visit and happily told me how sick it made him. Then when I came home, the cat ran up to me with one eye swelled shut and green pus leaking out. When I asked why the fuck he didn't take her to the vet, he said, "she does that sometimes, remember?" (I took the cat to the vet and she turned out fine)

                          Ok, these are kind of funny in hindsight. *headesk* only hurts you, but laughing at the ravens makes them mad and then they go away.
                          Last edited by ottercat; 12-08-2011, 01:13 PM.
                          Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
                          Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
                          "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

                          Comment


                          • "The Ravens." I like that. Not what they are, but it's a good description. Beady-eyed bastards know just when to show up to make you the most miserable.

                            No, it doesn't make you a raging bitch that can't appreciate a good man. It makes you an intelligent woman who can only handle stupid for so long. He's lucky he got to date you- I wouldn't even bother with someone that appeared to be dumb as a rock. I don't care how sweet he is. I mean, I'm having issues wrapping my head around a guy that's sweet and intelligent- but appears to be intimidated by me. Wait- does that mean I get to be a raging bitch too?

                            Glad you're feeling better! That will probably help with staying (mostly) Primal when you go out.
                            http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                            Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                            And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

                            Comment


                            • Ravens - wow, that's an incredibly good description. I get those sometimes, I can still blush and cringe about falling over one day during lunch break at school 23 years ago!!
                              There's also arguments I had with my ex-husband that can read their head and still make me scream with frustration at his stubborn refusal to see reason. I left him 3 years ago.
                              I can logically tell myself to breathe and let these things go, but when I'm in the right (wrong?) head-space, these 'ravens' really have at it and it's like my brain goes looking for them! Crazy!
                              My Journal

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                              • I have to admit that I giggled at your ravens last night when boyfriend was arguing with me about something and there was a "it's supposed to be like that" moment. He's a smart guy, but he's got issues with expressing emotions and resorts to humor in most cases. I don't mind because I know he gets it.
                                Depression Lies

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