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  • #31
    Hmmmm Another day another ramble. I figure since this is MY journal I can talk about whatever I want to and it will be Great with myself, I don't know about the rest of you .. but I'm ok with that.. tee hee

    Ok, well thats all for now..

    KIDDING I have LOTS!

    So I want to start talking about work .. or the lack there of! Ok first I want to talk about school! Back in Janauary 2010 I made the decision that it was time for me to head back to school. And I decided that Pre-employment carpentry was the course for me! That time frame from when i decided and when I actually headed there was about 9 months.. during those 9 months I damn near quit my decision at least 100 times do to fear... of what will come of this of that .. of everything pretty much the What if's were horrible. What if I don't make it .. What if This really isn't for me. What if what if. ( I do that ALOT! I will make a decision and then talk myself out of it. Actually that was a habit that I was working on during that year. I think I did pretty good considering I stood firm on my decision and made it to first class.. * I dropped out on my second*.. ;-) ) Ya so for everybody I told what I was taking I would have 1 positive feedback to 5 negatives.. The odds weren't on my side at all and the clouds rolled in and hazed my goal. I knew what what was meant to happen the day I went in to enroll and pay for my seat. (on my way to the college I had asked for a sign that it was the right path for me. Any sign just a sign) so one my last 5- 10 minutes of the ride left I ended up driving behind a truck.. (ooohhh big deal a truck!!) but on this truck was a Beautiful Shining portable table saw! I swear it was sparkling! I knew I was meant to take the course cause it lead me straight to the college. So Ya I ended up going back to school after 10 years.. one of the scariest things of my life! well just the thoughts actually. The butterflies walking into class wasn't that bad and well I had to have front row seats cause if i sit in the back I get distracted easily. So I ended up getting there early and the *nervousness* of walking into a full room wasn't there. So needless to say I drove my teacher NUTZ those 5 months! Yup I sure did.. I will definitely be a student he wont forget .. ohh cmon it wasn't because I am a horrible student.. I'm too eager .. Thats my problem and when I get going it's hard to stop... He loved me though, it's hard not too .. I'm soooo Sweet! hahah .. Ohh Ok um ya so I graded and got my level one in Carpentry .. Now I am waiting... Sighhh Spring can't get here soon enough.. Nobody hires until spring gets here.. And Technically it's spring.. but still no calls yet .. And I have a BEAUTIFUL PINK tool belt that I need to work in.. Hopefully Something will happen within the next 2 weeks.. I'm getting bored sitting at home All week..

    I should be taking full advantage of this time off and get things done.. But I swear I have this switch I guess you can call it. When I am at work .. I work .. but once I get home I relax.. (unless of course I have things to do) but since I have been home for like 2 months well .. The computer was my best friend through my lonely days , my depressing days.. and it's hard to let go of something that doesn't talk back and make you feel awful. :-( So ya I sit at home and play on the puter.. this here is a addiction I can't wait to get rid off. And I will be as soon as I get working again me thinks..

    One full time mon-fri, one weekend days, one evening cleaning mon - fri .. plus my priorties my two boys.. I won't have time for the computer.. I'm almost ready for the farewell.. It's been a long longgg love affair!

    hmm What else .. I guess a little more about me.. I am a spiritual being having a human experience.. The first half of it sucked ass.. although I have learned alot of brilliant lessons, Climbed alot of mountains.. and squished them up into little tiny dust balls. having them blow away in the wind..

    I am a poetic type girl. I love writing poems. I haven't wrotten one for a while .. oh gosh it's probably been a year or so, I tend to write them when I am in the middle of a harsh lesson.

    I try to see the beauty in every situation I find myself in .. Like for example.. Me being overweight. When I was 16 and 130 I remember saying I was Fat... One time when I was 20 I stepped on the scale at my boyfriend (pre husband) 's familys house (who involves everybody being mostly overweight) and I got upset because I was 132 I came out of the bathroom and proclaimed to everyone how fat I was.. So when I was 199lbs I told myself that if I ever EVER get back down to 125 lbs I will NEVER EVER call myself fat .. Because I have lived the path of of *fat girl* and I know what it *Truly means* to be *Uncomfortable in ones own skin* and that is the beauty of me being overweight. I needed to *feel* the life of the fat girl in order to Love me.. If that makes any sense. Plus it puts me on level ground and with more information to help others who want to lose weight and gain a new level of self appreciation.

    hmmm I got married too young .. had kids too young.. got divorced right on time. became a single mom of 2 when I was 26-27. Lost all my self worth and confidence. and then Gained it all back and MORE. I learned a lot over the years and the first thing I learned is that I am NEVER ever settling again. NO Matter what, If it doesn't feel right .. I am not going to force it to feel right ..
    I cant fit a square in a circle without damaging the square. I can fit a circle into a square though.. but it will be missing pieces..

    Another thing about me .. Is I like to ramble .. Like I said earlier.. once I get started on any topic that interests me .. I flow.. it usually doesn't make sense but it flows..

    Well I'm going to stop the flow now.. I may have put to much info out there already .. haha ..
    GROK'N


    "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." Nora Roberts

    Start December 20th 2010: 177 lbs
    Currant: 136 lbs
    Goal: 125 lbs
    11 more lbs to go


    Follow My Journey :-)

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by Coconut Girl View Post
      i have considered buying ketosticks and really buckling down (again) on carbs but since i'm lifting and working out every day i don't know yet... i want to get a feel for what my body needs first and foremost... anyway... i'm more of an indigo or royal purple girl i'd add violet but apparently it's not an option lol

      btw, i'd love to see your before and afters--can you link me? wonderful progress!
      I'm lazy right now.. Just getting out of hibernation .. the cold does that to me .. I feel a little tingle there that wants to explode.. Soon the day is coming I can feel it..

      Heres my pictures.. I didn't really take proper *before pictures.. I got rid of pretty much everything that was a full body shot .. Sigh I guess people are right when they say .. Make sure you take Fat pictures! well i know this now.. But I assure you I am not going to gain back 52 lbs Just so I have proof I was .. ugghhh 199 ..

      ImageShack&#174; - Online Photo and Video Hosting
      Last edited by Pink Grokoddess; 03-31-2011, 10:17 PM.
      "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." Nora Roberts

      Start December 20th 2010: 177 lbs
      Currant: 136 lbs
      Goal: 125 lbs
      11 more lbs to go


      Follow My Journey :-)

      Comment


      • #33
        you're very beautiful
        live mindfully.
        she's a Coconut Girl in a PRIMAL world... my PB journal

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by Coconut Girl View Post
          you're very beautiful
          Thank you Do you have pictures?
          "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." Nora Roberts

          Start December 20th 2010: 177 lbs
          Currant: 136 lbs
          Goal: 125 lbs
          11 more lbs to go


          Follow My Journey :-)

          Comment


          • #35
            my PB photos are not the most flattering of me LOL... check my journal, page 8 i believe...
            Last edited by Coconut Girl; 04-01-2011, 02:39 AM. Reason: deleted my link--shortlived... apologies, i am rather private :)
            live mindfully.
            she's a Coconut Girl in a PRIMAL world... my PB journal

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by Coconut Girl View Post
              my PB photos are not the most flattering of me LOL... check my journal, page 8 i believe...

              umm... otherwise this is probably the most recent photo of me: https://www.facebook.com/album.php?a...681886&theater

              please forgive the theatrical-ness of it... i'm a photographer/artist and i was bored
              Your FB Photos are AMAZING you got some slick Talent! Omg Love it .. Your a beautiful women! and the results in 7 days Holy crum! Wow! ya just WOW!
              "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." Nora Roberts

              Start December 20th 2010: 177 lbs
              Currant: 136 lbs
              Goal: 125 lbs
              11 more lbs to go


              Follow My Journey :-)

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by Modern Cave Women View Post
                Your FB Photos are AMAZING you got some slick Talent! Omg Love it .. Your a beautiful women! and the results in 7 days Holy crum! Wow! ya just WOW!
                thank you! umm... please, feel free to "like" it if you're on FB ^_^* lol
                live mindfully.
                she's a Coconut Girl in a PRIMAL world... my PB journal

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by Coconut Girl View Post
                  thank you! umm... please, feel free to "like" it if you're on FB ^_^* lol
                  Done!
                  "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." Nora Roberts

                  Start December 20th 2010: 177 lbs
                  Currant: 136 lbs
                  Goal: 125 lbs
                  11 more lbs to go


                  Follow My Journey :-)

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Modern Cave Women View Post
                    Done!
                    YAY! thank you i really need to start shooting again... i put it aside for a while... *sigh*
                    live mindfully.
                    she's a Coconut Girl in a PRIMAL world... my PB journal

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Coconut Girl View Post
                      YAY! thank you i really need to start shooting again... i put it aside for a while... *sigh*
                      I do that too .. but with my Poetry lol and my crocheting
                      "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." Nora Roberts

                      Start December 20th 2010: 177 lbs
                      Currant: 136 lbs
                      Goal: 125 lbs
                      11 more lbs to go


                      Follow My Journey :-)

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Modern Cave Women View Post
                        Done!
                        Ditto!

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Modern Cave Women View Post
                          hmm What else .. I guess a little more about me.. I am a spiritual being having a human experience..
                          Teilhard de Chardin? Love it.

                          I try to see the beauty in every situation I find myself in .. Like for example.. Me being overweight. When I was 16 and 130 I remember saying I was Fat... One time when I was 20 I stepped on the scale at my boyfriend (pre husband) 's familys house (who involves everybody being mostly overweight) and I got upset because I was 132 I came out of the bathroom and proclaimed to everyone how fat I was.. So when I was 199lbs I told myself that if I ever EVER get back down to 125 lbs I will NEVER EVER call myself fat .. Because I have lived the path of of *fat girl* and I know what it *Truly means* to be *Uncomfortable in ones own skin* and that is the beauty of me being overweight. I needed to *feel* the life of the fat girl in order to Love me.. If that makes any sense. Plus it puts me on level ground and with more information to help others who want to lose weight and gain a new level of self appreciation.
                          Great perspective here. I'm a die-hard optimist, so I can relate in a sense. Really though, I like to think of myself as a realist, because even though I'm constantly optimistic, it's not without due cause. Every cloud truly does have a sliver lining.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Funkadelic Flash View Post
                            Teilhard de Chardin? Love it.
                            I gotta be honest: I had to google it .. Had no idea where you were coming from for a moment .. lol

                            Originally posted by Funkadelic Flash View Post
                            Great perspective here. I'm a die-hard optimist, so I can relate in a sense. Really though, I like to think of myself as a realist, because even though I'm constantly optimistic, it's not without due cause. Every cloud truly does have a sliver lining.
                            hmmmm I don't know how to classify myself.. so I'm not going to bother putting myself into a catergory.. My friends say I am too optimistic, my co-workers say I love everybody, My family says I'm Grumpy.. lol Me? Well I guess I just try and look at things as they are .. learning experiences and more opportunities for growth.

                            Wow Funky F I can't believe you suffered though all that nonsense. lol I was so bored last night and kinda hyper too now that I think Of it, Looking forward to having a life soon .. LOL
                            "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." Nora Roberts

                            Start December 20th 2010: 177 lbs
                            Currant: 136 lbs
                            Goal: 125 lbs
                            11 more lbs to go


                            Follow My Journey :-)

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Originally posted by Modern Cave Women View Post
                              hmmmm I don't know how to classify myself.. so I'm not going to bother putting myself into a catergory.. My friends say I am too optimistic, my co-workers say I love everybody, My family says I'm Grumpy.. lol Me? Well I guess I just try and look at things as they are .. learning experiences and more opportunities for growth.
                              I'm what my husband calls a half of a half of a half of a half of a glass half empty person. Pretty much a pessimist and unless I can prove myself wrong, I don't change. I got a bit better with my pessimism in 2007 when my mom died(I dealt with about 23 years of emotional abuse from her) but in 2009 I was having to deal with crap from one of my siblings and the emotional abuse, pessimism and severe depression came into play. I was very much suicidal for about a year. I never did anything I just felt that the world would be better off without a loser such as myself. At my lowest point, I was introduced to PB by a friend and it pretty much saved my life. I'm a much happier person now.
                              Georgette

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by geostump View Post
                                I'm what my husband calls a half of a half of a half of a half of a glass half empty person. Pretty much a pessimist and unless I can prove myself wrong, I don't change. I got a bit better with my pessimism in 2007 when my mom died(I dealt with about 23 years of emotional abuse from her) but in 2009 I was having to deal with crap from one of my siblings and the emotional abuse, pessimism and severe depression came into play. I was very much suicidal for about a year. I never did anything I just felt that the world would be better off without a loser such as myself. At my lowest point, I was introduced to PB by a friend and it pretty much saved my life. I'm a much happier person now.
                                Oh wow! That's pretty much how I felt though out my entire marriage, ( and my 13- 15 era when I started doing everything from smoking, drugs, drinking, etc etc just being a rebel but there's a story behind that and why I went in that direction.. lol) but ya got married for the wrong reasons and was pretty much verbally abused for the entire time. I'm glad I found the strength to walk away even though I felt like a complete failure, I still managed to pull through the false reasons to stay. Now I'm still blessed with commitment issues .. But I'm aware of them now and am working on them daily.. One day I will be ready to *Love again* but as for now I'm in no rush to get into another dead end marriage..

                                I'm really glad You found that PB has given you a second chance for happiness. I'm a firm believer in the Law of attraction, and the Sedona Method. And I also believe that the world is what we make it to be . Yes there are disasters going on all over the world.. But I don't personally attract any of those disaster to myself. I'm not saying that they have..
                                sigh my words are going to be read wrong I think.
                                But for me I try to see the beauty out of every situation.. actually I annoy my friends sometimes lol, they will talk to me about something *bad* thats going on in there life .. and I immediatly point out the good things about it.. then they get *mad* and say you know sometimes I would like you to just agree with me and bitch with me.. So I am like .. You know I can't be that type of friend.. I'm not going to be the one that goes down to the level of feelings you are feeling, Just so I can carry that feeling with me? No thank you, I would rather help you see the positives so that maybe I can help you come back up in to the positive levels of your feelings.. Sigh .. I'm rambling again .. Just tell me to shut up .. It might work ..


                                "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." Nora Roberts

                                Start December 20th 2010: 177 lbs
                                Currant: 136 lbs
                                Goal: 125 lbs
                                11 more lbs to go


                                Follow My Journey :-)

                                Comment

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