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Kamile's Path of Recovery from ED

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  • Kamile's Path of Recovery from ED

    I decided to start my journal knowing that my struggles (BULIMIA) may seem intimidating (for some people). I know it is not pretty and inspiring to read about someone who had been throwing up...
    But if living primal someway contributes to my recovery I wonít keep it to myself. I want to scream of joy that it works, it helps, it liberates.

    So, whatís my story?
    One day I hope to put all thoughts (that run in my mind) on paper. For now, Iím just a former bulimic. ďFormerĒ means that I havenít purged for the whole TWO and A HALF WEEKS. Thatís huge. Thatís massive for me.

    I guess you donít have to be bulimic to understand how sick the relationship with the food might be. How it occupies ones mind and drives one insane. And what once was a joy of life turns out to be your biggest nightmare. And I have been living in mine.

    Well for two weeks I donít any more.

    I learn. Every minute, every hour, every day.

    I listen to my body, to my mind and challenge myself Ė I can do it. Iím doing it and I will be doing it because I can. Because food is food and it does not define me... at all

  • #2
    So I’ve started weighting 110, being 5”10
    For two weeks I have been consuming, eggs, vegetables, coconut oil, butter, coffee, and tea.
    Weight lifting 3 times a week, no cardio.
    No binging/purging no nonsense with food.
    Eating clean every 3 hours.
    Starting the third week I started to get bored with eating clean, so I’ve tried to incorporate some cheese, cottage cheese, nuts and dark chocolate.
    Bad idea.
    Very bad.
    I got cravings right away. God, couple of days ago I thought of giving up. So I binged. On meat. That was a binge, I admit. Nothing good, but still kind of positive. I did not throw up (nor did I want to) and I’ve gained weight (that’s another issue I have to deal with).

    Today I’m 115.3 pounds.
    I know I have to gain. And I want muscle. But I’m just still driven by those numbers on the scale. That’s just sad.


    • #3
      You're moving in the right direction. Keep it up!


      • #4
        Just keep the faith and you'll be fine. You're learning what your triggers are which is a very good thing. You'll be amazed at all the things you will learn from your body now.


        • #5
          Thank you, guys.

          Well, I know what had trigged my last meat binge.
          TOM. I sincerely hate it. Even being underweight I still get it every three weeks. And it’s never nice to me. I always fell like crap: hungry irritated and bloated.

          Yesterday was my off day from gym.
          I ate lots of chicken breasts with butter melted on, broccoli and cauliflower mixed salads and some goat cheese as well as a couple handful of almonds.

          Too much food again, but that muscle I’m building needs it.
          Therefore, feeling not very well I’m still heading to the gym for my back and biceps workout.


          • #6
            I am coming at primal from the other side but I find this interesting:

            Also in recovery, she's managed to gain slabs of muscle.
            Wheat is the new tobacco. Spread the word.