Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

When you know better, you do better: Metismomma's journal

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Originally posted by Metismomma View Post
    I bought some sage tea yesterday. Its to help dry up my milk that I'm still producing. Sage is good for other things too(think hot flashes and menopause, ladies) so heres to hoping it helps me a bit. One caveat: its smells like stuffing. It doesn't have any taste, but the smell is almost unbearable. Its better as a cold tea, so I might make some and pour into my water bottle to drink.
    I read a few chapters in PB last night. Definitely same old, same old. Waiting for something I haven't seen before pop up. But still, a good refresher.
    Also watched "Date Night" last night. Funny, yet depressing. Thats Paul and I. The boring, bored couple waking up at 5am. We don't even get a date night though. Its very sad. Also had a depressing dream about being 63 years old and having a 69 year old man hitting on me. I was laughing at him because he was so much older than me. But he wasn't. *Sigh* I felt like I was in my 30's still, but half of my life was gone.I hadn't done anything interesting, nothing I had planned and dreamed about... GAWD, DON'T LET THAT BE MY LIFE!
    Aaaaw... that reminds me of my weird dreams... they always end with me waking up drenched in cold sweat (but mine also have serial killers and rapists, so I suppose yours aren't that bad).
    Maybe it's the generation gap (but not really if you're only 30), but that's pretty much my nightmare: being married, pregnant, washing socks, not having personal space.
    *wwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!*
    *runs away*

    Could be the commitment phobia. I can't commit to a shampoo brand.
    And the trust issues (extreme idealism vs. the belief that people can't be trusted and men can't keep it in their pants).

    But all that probably makes me a very undesirable long-term partner anyway :0
    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
    -Raymond Peat, PhD

    Comment


    • I think its my subconscious telling me to move on. Not from the relationship, just the place. My gypsy feet are itchy. Its a family trait.
      Per-son-al sp...ace...whats that?! Tell me more! For real, I doubt I have any for the past 7 years.
      Calm the f**k down.

      Comment


      • I'm bored and sore. I want to go outside and play frisbee and possibly do some sprints.
        But I'm too bored. Ever been that bored? Its really boring.
        The alternative is housework. Yeah, I'm not that bored yet.
        Ok, maybe lazy is the right word. I can think of stuff to do, but I'm too lazy atm to do them.
        I haaaaaaattteeee lazy days. They make me want to nap and if I do, my day is shot. I can't catnap. Its not in me. I sleep or I'm awake. There is no middle ground.
        That reminds me, I need to buy a present for K. its her birthday in 9 (gulp!) days.
        Calm the f**k down.

        Comment


        • I actually got up after that and ran some sprints. It still was a lazy day.
          So I decided I will take up the challenge:
          Goals:
          1) no coffee
          2)no dairy(no grains is a given, but I will make sure I don't have any), no nuts and no fruit.
          3) no scale.
          4) ditto the less computer time. I don't watch that much tv, but I do waste a ton of time on the computer.
          5)If I walked more, my legs would fall off. So, I'm adding sprints instead. 2x a week
          6) LHT, bodyweight style 3x a week.
          7)PLAY! We got a frisbee, will be put to good use. Going to get a volleyball too, since I love volleyball.
          8) be consistent with my supplements.
          9) No sugar or chocolate. This one is hard for me. The hardest of all I think. I eat way too much chocolate and candy at work.
          10) get enough sleep
          All in all, get back to basics Primal-wise.

          I am starting tomorrow, so tonight is a freebie/cheat night. I am drinking rye&diet pepsi, eating bad chocolate(didn't last long) ketchup chips, ice cream, and coconut flavoured yogurt.
          I will be reducing my computer time to an hour an night, which will be spent updating y'all on my progress. I'm also adding another goal...I'm going to try to have sex every night. Or something like it. Hubby will either be very pleased or very sore. Possibly both. I'm hoping that the whole "use it or lose it" motto is true. If I use it, maybe I will get back to a more normal libido.
          Just as hard will be the goal of not using the scale for 30 days.
          For my LHT portion, I'll be taking a mix of 30 day Shred, Zuzana's bodyrock workouts and John Romaniello's fitness programs in particular this blog post and this post
          Huh... speaking of sleep, its almost 9pm and I still haven't touched the ice cream. Meh, forget it. I'll get a Blizzard on June 1st. I am going to have some yogurt though.
          Later all!
          Calm the f**k down.

          Comment


          • Wow... I wish I spent my lazy days like you do.

            Then I'd look like this: Google Image Result for http://fusedfilm.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/jessica_biel.jpg

            (not really)

            It's good you're bored and can't think of anything to do. When I'm bored there's a lot of mindless games I can play and useless movies I can watch, so I've evolved to the next level of bored and that is incurable.
            I've managed to spend 2 weeks of my life doing absolutely nothing...

            Augh, your talk of boredom and laziness just makes me want to lie down... and... uh... be lazy...

            ARGH!!

            Personal space is when you have no one to have sex with, when instead of much needed worship and male attention you wallow in self pitty alone, it's when no one will take you out to dinner or buy you chocolate.

            It's awesome.

            *sobs*
            Last edited by NoSaladWithoutMeat; 05-02-2011, 12:50 PM.
            "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
            -Raymond Peat, PhD

            Comment


            • I wish I spent lazy days like her. Then I would look like her too! 0.0
              Personal space huh? Sounds fantastic. Marriage doesn't exactly = adoration and worship. More like you make supper, buy your own chocolate and are expected to put out anyway :P Though today hubby cooked supper, and if I ask nicely and he has money, he'll buy me a chocolate bar. Not today though.

              I have to tweak my challenge. I don't have enough veggies to go nut/fruit/dairy free. Just dairy free. Some nuts, but not a ton and some fruit. Its more of a mind thing really. Its there, its ok to eat it, but I won't. Just knowing that its ok makes it easier. Everything else I can do easily enough.

              Meaty, you'll be happy to know that Shred is kicking my ass. I'm using either no weight or 2lbs weights for the exercises. I'm getting better at the cardio though. My cardio endurance sucks...
              Calm the f**k down.

              Comment


              • Its been 4 days since I posted.
                Tuesday was busier than hell. I ate a donut. Wednesday, I was feeling crappy and ate another donut. Also some chocolate(maybe, T don't know. I can't completely remember)also ate yogurt and almost ate a bowl of ice cream. Almost, because I scooped it out and baby girl scooped it out from under me. Grabbed a spoon and walked away. Geesh...
                I have a cold or the flu. Either way, I feel like crap. I bought myself 2 dark chocolate bars with almonds. I ate half of one and everyone else ate the rest. I bought a 4pk of reese's pb eggs. I got to eat one. How the heck am I supposed to whimper and whine when all my comfort food is being eaten on me? Sheesh people, get with the program! Mommy's sick and wants to eat crap!
                I should just eat a grapefruit. I had one a couple days ago. It was soooo good. Oh wow, now I want one. But not before I make more tea. At least I don't need to go anywhere tomorrow. K. has the day off of school.
                Haven't done any LHT exercise since Monday, my whole body is achy. I ended up getting a new game card for WoW, I need the play portion of it. If I spend too much time on the forum I bet either a) bored or b) stressed or c) frustrated. I just need some fun. But that of course messes up the "less computer time" portion of the challenge.
                Ate half a grapefruit. It was ok. Would have been better if I could smell.
                Calm the f**k down.

                Comment


                • Aren't you glad your kids are actually KEEPING you from eating junk??

                  Comment


                  • LOL! Yeah, thats how I chose to look at it too. Reminds me of a blog post I saw recently..let me scrounge it up...
                    found it. Its #6 easy diet upgrades
                    I just need a dog and I'll never eat.
                    Calm the f**k down.

                    Comment


                    • Hope you feel better soon!
                      My Primal Journal

                      Comment


                      • ironic whiny thread from last year
                        Notice its almost a year ago that I got this sick? What does it mean? Hmm
                        Calm the f**k down.

                        Comment


                        • So today is K. birthday! We surprised her at school with cupcakes and and juice(not my idea but I'm still happy about it) She was so excited about it, it was very sweet. We couldn't afford a birthday with all her school friends so this was perfect. Came home and we had a small family party with gluten-free cake(I made it and it was actually pretty good!) and she got to open her presents. Barbies, dolls, clothes and a scooter. Also Zuzu pets(3 of them!) Thats the closest we're going to get to actual pets ( and we can't afford a Roomba lol)
                          So I'm pretty sure I have bronchitis. I'm thinking its an allergy thing. I start getting inflammation sometime in March and it just gets worse. I'm treating myself with Oil of Oregano atm. I can't afford the antibiotics they would give me to see if I do have bronchitis :-/ On Thursday maybe, but not now. I haven't been to work all week. Neither has Paul. His arm still isn't doing well. He finally got into see a physiotherapist and she figures its an issue with his C5 and C6 vertebrae. Which we figured. Its a place to start anyway. Either way, its been stressful. I'm worried about money A LOT right now.
                          As for my challenge, its done. I did figure something out though. I mother myself with food. When I'm feeling sick or sad or emotional in anyway that would be resolved by a hug from Mom, I go find myself a treat to "mother" myself with. I'm the youngest of 3, so I was the typical baby. Plus there was a 5 year gap between by next sibling and I. I was everyone's baby. Here, I have little to no support other than Paul and I'm the Mom. I'm the support for my kids and my husband. Its hard for me, I really need to find a different way to comfort myself. And don't say baths. I really hate baths lol
                          If I take care of myself via diet and exercise, it doesn't feel like I'm taking care of myself. It feels like more work piled on my head. I'm not sure what I need to do to start taking care of myself without treating myself to candy/junk food/ chocolate. I should really go look at the pages I printed up about EFT a couple years ago.
                          Someone is probably going to say meditate. I can't meditate. Not that I don't want to, my family wouldn't let me. I could wake up at 5am and someone would come bug me. I think I might start taking a walk after the kids go to sleep, maybe start getting some fun fiction from the library again. Tawdry romances, Terry Pratchett(if you know him, he really is a category of his own amirite?) maybe I'll finally read the Harry Potter series lol!
                          Calm the f**k down.

                          Comment


                          • Oh shit! Glee is on! Night all!
                            Calm the f**k down.

                            Comment


                            • Wow, 9 days later...
                              I still have a bit of cough. Better though. Downing Umka, and took a bunch of Allimax(its an allicin-garlic pill) Today is my fast day because I had a very weird experience yesterday that involved me needing to eat something(that turned out to be a mini chocolate/banana loaf x2) I ate some salmon, cucumber and tomato for lunch, walked to work, and developed the shakes. I felt a little fuzzy headed too. Only thing I could figure was maybe it was a blood sugar thing, but I still had the shakes for quite awhile after eating the loaves. I didn't feel normal until about 4 hours later. Very odd.
                              Paul is still home, he also got his thyroid test back. Still high, despite being medicated. Still having issues with his neck/arm.

                              I'm incredibly stressed out. I feel...done. I just want to give up and I've realized that I am depressed. Which is probably the biggest reason behind my lack of libido. AS I walked to work yesterday, I was walking next to the highway and all I could think about was how easy to would be to ge hit by a vehicle and die. Life was suck for Paul and the kids(which is the biggest reason why I couldn't do it) but then I wouldn't need to worry about the overwhelming debt hanging over our head, my weight wouldn't matter, I wouldn't have to deal with the kids anymore, I would done with the rut I've been stuck for the past 7 years, everything that is stressing me out would just be gone.
                              It was an "AHA!" moment. Well, duh. You're depressed. I completely feel like I'm spinning my wheels all day everyday. I feel hopeless, I'm the most hopeful person out there and I feel hopeless. Is our situation worse than other peoples? No. Its just too much for me. I can't even cry, I just don't have it in me.
                              I don't really have anyone to talk to about it either. I feel really alone. Or I should say, we feel alone. Paul doesn't talk about the stress we're under either.
                              Ugh...I need something for this but I don't want to get into pharmaceuticals. I'm not sure what to do.
                              Calm the f**k down.

                              Comment


                              • *many, many hugs*
                                My Primal Journal

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X