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Primal Challenge Journal (wrinkledamanda)

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  • #16
    1



    I definately have an addictive personality. I actually had a very scary experience yesterday that has prompted me to want to not drink at all that resulted in a broken thumb and me not remembering anything at all.


    It's easy to get carried away when you're drinking, and for some reason, when I begin, I just cannot stop. Everything goes out the window for me. I need to just not drink at all, and if I do, I need to take it like you do, and drink only two glasses if that.

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    • #17
      1



      Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that after eating /essentially/ primally (a few binges, and the booze comprimised my eating it to the letter), and I've noticed my nails are stronger, and my dandruff isn't nearly as bad.

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      • #18
        1



        That's one of the scary thing about drinking - memory loss. Luckily, I've never been down that route - too much of a control freak!


        Anyway, I hope your thumb mends soon. And good news about your nails and dandruff.

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        • #19
          1



          I've never had an issue blacking out before! And it's kind of embarassing because apparently I turned up at my neighbor's apartment with my pants down (they're baggy, so I'm hoping they just fell) asking to listen to music. She took me in and I kind of "came to" singing Journey at the top of my lungs into a screwdriver. That's when I noticed my throbbing, swollen, black thumb (thanks for the good wishes, BTW)... I used to just make an ass of myself in my own apartment, but my assery is getting more profound.


          I did see some good in this, though, because if I didn't drink so much that I would be useless at work, I wouldn't have gone to my neighbor's and stayed up so late - she's been sick so she wouldn't have, either - and therefore we wouldn't have heard the smoke alarm go off in the hall and woke everybody in the apt building up and the place would have burned down because the kid on the floor below us burned something. So I guess it's all good...?

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          • #20
            1



            Oh my, what a story! It does seem like a happy accident in some respects, though...


            Tip: Get some new trousers!


            Seriously, I know what you mean about the not being able to stop issue. I know I have an addictive personality so that's where my control freak side comes in to stop me doing something really terrible to myself. My friend tells me it's an aspect of the 'A type' personality - high achievers etc. That's why I would never go near drugs (apart from the illegality!) because I know I would never be able to come back from the hell that they bring.


            Ah, the human condition...

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            • #21
              1



              We're one in the same, it seems. Not that it's a bad thing, since we pretty much know our limits and can steer clear of things like drugs. That would be just disastrous, but at least we know enough about ourselves that we would never even try. I never really imagined myself a high achiever, but thinking objectively about it, maybe I am. What I love, I love a lot, if only for a few weeks before I move to something else. haha


              Oh! Oh! So, I've been reading up about the importance of fat - which I origionally didn't think was so significant - on the panu blog, and over my days off decided to up the fats like crazy. Man, I'm glad I did. I'm so much more satisfied after meals (and between), and and and! There's this pair of pants I don't wear very often because they were uncomfortable and a bit tight, but since my others were dirty (and too baggy, hahaha!) I wore them, and they're loose now!!! Ugh! I can't believe it!


              I generally don't leave my apartment for those two days, therefore wear the same thing all weekend, and I was kind of thinking I'd maybe lost some belly fat at least. I was so freakin gloriously right!!!!!!!!! And, looking in a mirror for the first time since, I seem to be able to find my neck. That's one of the things I'd loved before, was my long neck, and very prominant collarbones. Eeeee!


              Still afraid of the scale, though. No thanks on that. haha


              So, will the fats help my thumb heal faster? It's just really annoying, and I've got so many things to draw that, while it's not hindering me completely, it's defianately not helping me at all. Plus, I want to try a prison workout.


              Oh yeah, and no alchohol since Monday or whenever that whole debaucle was. Go me \^^/

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              • #22
                1



                All sounds good to me! Excellent! I'm not sure how I've done on the measurements or weight this week - to be honest I've been sidetracked by sciatic nerve pain for most of the week, which has been absolute agony! Still, I'm happy to report that it's not put me off my primal ways...

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                • #23
                  1



                  What is sciatic nerve (I guess I could just google it)? I read in your journal that it's very painful. I hope you get better very soon!!! Good on ya about staying the primal way. Hugssss!


                  I don't know why, but I really want a drink right now. I have been doing so so so well, and to top it off, I've enjoyed coffee with heavy whipping cream and no sugar whatsoever. Urgh! It's just so frustrating, and I feel like if I want something, I shouldn't have it. I'm probably just being super melodramatic about things right now. haha Whatever.

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                  • #24
                    1



                    The sciatic nerve starts in the lower back and runs down both legs. It can sometimes get trapped if you have a prolapsed disc in your lower back or if it gets trapped by the piriformis muscle that attaches between the top of your femur and pelvis. Yes, it is excruciatingly painful.


                    I don't know which has caused mine yet - hopefully an MRI scan this week can shed light on it.


                    As for your drinking urges - don't give in! If you can get past the first few weeks, it'll be a lot easier!

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                    • #25
                      1



                      That sounds horrible. I'm so sorry it's in such bad shape, hopefully you'll feel better after you see someone about it. I saw on the thread you made that a massage therapist could help you out. Will you go see one?


                      I didn't drink today! ahahaa! I went home and made ground beef and eggs and bacon. I've found that I can't eat as much now. It's insane, I simply don't feel like eating sometimes. This is a big thing for me, and I love it. I think I can see myself getting smaller in the mirror. I think... or it's just cautious optimism, which would explain why I'm afraid to get on the scale... Maybe someday.

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                      • #26
                        1



                        I did see a massage therapist, but I think my problem had gone beyond her help. Anyway, I'm on my full complement of muscle relaxant, painkillers and anti-inflammatories, so thongs are really starting to ease up, thankfully.


                        Well done on the drinking and the eating! It is great when you realise that you are listening to your hunger and not falling into habit-driven eating. I've been off work for the past few days and normally I'd be hunting high and low for food as comfort. This time though, that hadn't happened at all.


                        I'm sure that you probably are getting smaller. Try to stay away from the scales if you see them as a demotivator. I got a bit obsessive but I haven't weighed or measured myself for over 10 days now (partially because I've been in too much pain to think about it!). If I get back on the scales and see I haven't lost anything I won't be too upset since I know I have the right tools tk deal with it.


                        And finally, just remember that alcohol is a really high source of not only calories but also inflammation, which leads to weight issues...

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                        • #27
                          1



                          Omg I'm back.


                          So. I definately went off the wagon in a big, big way and wound up gaining 10 lbs. Actually, last week I lost 4. All my pants are tighter, My belly bigger, face fatter, feeling shittier. I was doing PB for a week and a half before this weekend when I had too much wine, which led me straight to the store to buy ice cream for some reason >.< I&#39;ve pretty much quit drinking. Now it&#39;s only around 2 or 3 times a month, and only on social occasions. I just don&#39;t feel like it any other time, so really I shouldn&#39;t be having the binging problem very often.


                          Anyways, I figured I&#39;d revive my journal in order to document what I eat every day because it helps immensely, and I find that if I do fall off the wagon, I can come back and see my own success and what I was eating. Which also makes it easier to jump back on.


                          Now I&#39;m just rambling, but I did find an amazing ranch dressing that&#39;s less than 387452348578978 ingrediants. I can&#39;t recall what&#39;s all in it, but no soybean oil or corn of any kind (which is surprisingly hard to find -- why the hell do you need corn in your dressing???) and some dark chocolate that actually tastes amazing and doesn&#39;t leave me wanting a ton more. I realize now that Hershey&#39;s isn&#39;t the end all in chocolate.


                          So, if anyone&#39;s reading this, what is a fat fast? I am trying to eat a bunch more fat to satiate my ginormous cravings (when I&#39;m feeling like this, I don&#39;t eat that chocolate), and I&#39;m putting coconut oil in my coffee and right now drinking tea with butter (as I got the idea when someone posted that article about the 130 yr old lady from Kazakhstan) and it seems to be doing the trick.


                          I weigh 270 lbs now, and I&#39;m hoping to weigh 240 by July 4. Can it be done? I certainly hope so!

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