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WTF, Over

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  • WTF, Over



    OK so my wife's b-day is coming up in a couple of weeks and I just started a 30 day primal challenge of my own to kind of get a kick start yesterday. I go through little spurts of eating paleo but always trip up after a week or so, so I figured that i would just see if I could make it an entire month. Well today we were talking about dinner and I told her that I couldn't eat at a place that she recommended b/c they weren't paleo friendly, at which point I catch three kinds of hell for going paleo for her birthday. How should I handle this situation? I've tried to get her on the wagon w/ me, but w/ no success. She is in the medical field so she knows the pros and cons to a western diet, and I've sent her tons (seriously about two thousand pounds) of links. What should I do to keep this promise that I made to myself while keeping the wife happy?


  • #2
    1



    Travis,


    Let me preface this by saying I am a female :-)

    I assume she's a "keeper", otherwise you would not have married her...how about eating some steak first, then taking her to place she loves for her birthday?


    It's possible to take care of both of you at once. Now, if she won't be happy unless YOU eat something you don't want... then SHE is out of line.

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    • #3
      1



      My take:


      Go wherever she wants and order meat and vegetables of some sort.


      Don't order your own cake...if you are forced into it taste one bite of her cake or if you are forced to share just eat tiny bites to minimize the damage.


      If you make her go to a paleo friendly place where she can't get what she wants for her B-day you will pay 100 fold. Better to eat 2 bites of cake and let it go.

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      • #4
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        What kind of restaurant are we talking about? Family restaurant, Italian, Steak House? etc...

        I grok, therefore I am.

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        • #5
          1



          It's her birthday make her happy. Chalk it up to your 20% and be happy that you are still 100% primal since 20% is part of the plan.


          http://www.marksdailyapple.com/8020-principle/

          It's grandma, but you can call me sir.

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          • #6
            1



            I say make it a cheat day


            Can't be perfect all the time

            -Sean

            www.SeanBissell.com

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            • #7
              1



              I can't think of a single restaurant where I couldn't get vegetables and meat.


              If I were your wife, I'd be totally pissed off at you, too. You can just FORGET about getting any nookie until you give in GRACIOUSLY, non grudgingly.

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              • #8
                1



                Well the place she is wanting to go today is a chain italian eatery. I won't have a problem finding something paleo there (I don't think). What the bigger fight is about is, for whatever reason, she gets mad when I don't eat crap w/ her. I set a goal to be primal for 30 days. Should I stick w/ it for the couple of weeks until her b-day when she will want me to eat cake and crap w/ her or just chalk it up and try again after that? How else can I make her see that she is out of line for getting pissed at me for trying to be a healthier person?

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                • #9
                  1



                  http://www.marksdailyapple.com/partn...its-influence/

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                  • #10
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                    Most places you go these days can handle an "I want grilled meat and veggies" order without any fuss. As for the cake ... a couple of bites won't kill you (well, maybe). Pick your battles wisely is my advice. Good luck.


                    Personally I'd go anywhere and order whatever I wanted, no matter the extra cost or hassle. As for the cake, I could get away with passing on it.

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                    • #11
                      1



                      Its too late, dude. She is already mad at you and will be no matter what you say or do now. Might as well fast while she eats the meal in front of you at her favorite restuarant. Tell her fasting is your punishment.


                      My wife thinks i am crazy doing this stuff too. Lucky for me, she loves my grilling skills, so I can get away eating primally most nights.


                      I have learned that I do have to eat whatever she cooks or I am in for it. I just eat very small portions. I just try to eat primally whenever I can, and know that a good relationship with her is more important than a meal or two that she cooks that isn't primal. She is slowing getting the drift of what i want to eat and has changed some meal choices for our family.


                      I think she is just floored that I eat well now and am in such good shape after 5 years of me being very unhealthy and sporting a spare tire.


                      Eat the cake.

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                      • #12
                        1



                        @worthc -- "Tell her fasting is your punishment" that's a good one!

                        It's grandma, but you can call me sir.

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                        • #13
                          1



                          Another female perspective:


                          Humbly and genuinely apologize for not understanding, initially, how important it is for her to enjoy her birthday meal. (She may be reacting to her own feelings of guilt for wanting to eat what she knows is junk, but I'd leave that suggestion out of the conversation!) Let her know that having a great celebration with her is your top priority, and what the hell, you'll go back to eating primal tomorrow.


                          Seriously, don't let this delay or destroy your "primal month." I'm an in-with-both-feet type of person, too, so I understand the compulsion to go 100%...but you gotta be a realist and let other things take priority on occasion.




                          Nightlife ~ Chronicles of Less Urban Living, Fresh from In the Night Farm ~ Idaho's Primal Farm! http://inthenightlife.wordpress.com/

                          Latest post: Stop Being Stupid

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                          • #14
                            1



                            If she's insisting that you eat exactly what she's eating, then that's a whole 'nuther thing.


                            You guys need to compromise: You'll take her to whatever restaurant she wants, but NEITHER of you is allowed to nag the other about food choices AT ALL. If that's not possible, then the problem runs deeper than not agreeing about nutrition.

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                            • #15
                              1



                              I think that "sharing" (food and else) can be important for her at a special date like this. I think if you do it for one meal, that would not have any significant consequence for your primal month. You can even present it as a gift to her, to reduce the steam on her side (if she is really vexed by the last discussion). When at home, I cook for myself and the family (and for myself when its my wife's time, but in general she tries to keep a primal component in the menu for me). The family continues to eat carbs, but it is easy to cook a primal dinner and complete it with some potatoes, rice or pasta.

                              I, candidly, do not think that skipping one primal dinner is a big enough deal in comparison with her hurt feelings.

                              Good luck for reviving the romance!

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