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Saoirse's Primal Journal

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  • Do bear crawl chases with your little ones :-). When you catch them toss them in the air until you are laughing as hard as they are. Laughter is the best ab exercise.
    Every Day is a New Adventure

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    • 34 years is awesome! have any advice for me?

      Well, we think of each other first. That came with time. I guess the turning point for me was asking myself how i would feel if i couldn't share snippets of my day with him and we had no contact whatsoever. I realized that i would be devastated and needed to try harder. Things got really so much better when he left his stressful job.
      Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

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      • How about lifting the kids up into the air on the balls of your feet ? You need to do something that feels more like play and less like structured exercise. The dogs and i play keepaway and tug of war. Don't have any kids but i have big, strong dogs!
        Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

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        • One more thing regarding our relationship. Both DH and I started asking ourselves "do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy/". Cut way down on the arguing over nothing.
          Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

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          • Thankfully being right makes me happy. It's a win-win!
            August 2010: 207 lb, 37" waist, 25+% BF | Currently: 177 lb, 33" waist, ~15% BF

            I have a new site up and will soon be blogging at The Wayward Mind. (My journal is semi-retired at this point)

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            • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
              Enchiladas. Geo had a recipe for a primal egg crepe wrap thingie for them to sub out for tortillas.
              ooo...good one!

              Originally posted by Patrick View Post
              I'd do push-ups, squats and something else. It doesn't sound like you're enjoying pull-ups all that much. So why not add some diversity and rotate the third thing? Low-weight (water bottle maybe) push presses, rows, swings, mountain climber, shoulder presses a la PBF.
              i'm not enjoying pull-ups because i can't frakking do one, and i can't do one because i'm not putting in the effort to get there. *off to google your suggestions*

              Originally posted by New Renaissance View Post
              Do bear crawl chases with your little ones :-). When you catch them toss them in the air until you are laughing as hard as they are. Laughter is the best ab exercise.
              by "bodyweight exercises" i mean things that are intentionally exercise. i throw the kids on the bed (largest one is around 50 lbs), carry them on my back, etc. i also go for bike rides with them and pull at least one in the trailer (the baby of course). my daughter's bike tire needs to be repaired, so last time i pulled her along too. her extra 40 lbs made a big difference!

              Originally posted by honeybuns View Post
              One more thing regarding our relationship. Both DH and I started asking ourselves "do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy/". Cut way down on the arguing over nothing.
              i think we "argue about nothing" because we're arguing about relationship shit. frankly, it's a bottomless pit. he calls me spiteful, i try to correct him by saying there's a huge difference between feeling hurt and feeling spiteful, and i'm rarely the latter. he says "well you sound spiteful." i guess i don't know what hurt SHOULD sound like. anyway, i'm trying to avoid that whole bottomless pit by sticking to solving problems. i worry that some of these things can't be solved.

              Originally posted by Patrick View Post
              Thankfully being right makes me happy. It's a win-win!
              being right usually equals being alone. though sometimes he admits i'm right, just not lately. i try to tell him he's right when i think he is.
              my primal journal:
              http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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              • today sucks.
                my primal journal:
                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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                • Sounds like all your analysis about relationship stressors is correct. How long will he be away in the grand scheme of things? You make it sound pretty long-term.

                  Yeah, there IS a difference between feeling hurt and spiteful, but maybe he's sensing tone -- or oversensitive to tone. Hard to say. I hope a lot of it can be solved eventually, even if some of it has to wait till you're back in the same city.

                  Sorry about today sucking. Sympathy waves headed your way, magnified by their path through the planet's core!

                  On another note, I think the stages of marriage thing is rather oversimplified. Can't say I've ever had a marriage or a long term relationship that's followed that path at all.
                  Last edited by Jenny; 07-24-2011, 05:14 PM.
                  "Trust me, you will soon enter a magical land full of delicious steakflowers, with butterbacons fluttering around over the extremely rompable grass and hillsides."

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                  • Originally posted by Jenny View Post
                    Sounds like all your analysis about relationship stressors is correct. How long will he be away in the grand scheme of things? You make it sound pretty long-term.

                    Yeah, there IS a difference between feeling hurt and spiteful, but maybe he's sensing tone -- or oversensitive to tone. Hard to say. I hope a lot of it can be solved eventually, even if some of it has to wait till you're back in the same city.

                    Sorry about today sucking. Sympathy waves headed your way, magnified by their path through the planet's core!

                    On another note, I think the stages of marriage thing is rather oversimplified. Can't say I've ever had a marriage or a long term relationship that's followed that path at all.
                    It is pretty long term, there is no defined end. his pay is too low to bring us out there, my "job skills" wouldn't get me hired into a position that would justify daycare costs (and would be completely contrary to our shared parenting ideals), and we're in this mortgage (a very reasonable mortgage for a modest house). when one of those factors can be changed (maybe he will get a job in a more reasonably priced area, for example, or a job will open up here), then we can reunite.

                    as far as your guess about oversensitivity to tone, that's my belief as well. he grew up with a lot of emotional manipulation and i think he projects that onto me when he's stressed. maybe i don't know how to convey "hurt" and can only convey "anger", though it's certainly not intentional, nor do i try to convey anything at all.

                    i agree with the stages thing, relationships probably aren't that linear. eesh, if only they were.
                    my primal journal:
                    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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                    • Ugh, I'm really sympathetic. Hopefully one of those factors will change in a positive way for you all.

                      Ooh, good point. Yeah, growing up with emotional manipulation could leave him with a lot of anxiety whenever someone expresses even genuine emotion. Maybe a different approach would help -- ask him to think about this and get back to you later: how would he like you to approach explaining how you feel, what he would be most comfortable with? Just see if he can come up with something. Even if he doesn't, or even if it doesn't seem to be doable, it will be revealing and might get him thinking too.

                      The stages thing is probably pretty close to how ti goes for people who started out infatuated with each other, came to their senses in a way, and then figured out how to keep it going. But that doesn't seem to happen to everybody.
                      "Trust me, you will soon enter a magical land full of delicious steakflowers, with butterbacons fluttering around over the extremely rompable grass and hillsides."

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                      • that's an idea. i asked him how "hurt" is supposed to sound, maybe i'll ask that again not-in-the-heat of the moment. it came up because we were arguing, he said something that hurt me and when i responded he objected to my tone of voice. i'm going to think about your suggestion longer, let it sink in...
                        my primal journal:
                        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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                        • A few years ago we had an epiphany that a lot of how each of us reacted to things was a pattern from childhood. For example, at bill paying time if he said anything about why something was spent, I would get super defensive and I dreaded bill paying time. He wasn't being mean or anything, just was curious and i would WAY overreact. We finally figured out it was because when my Mom and Dad paid bills he was very cruel to her about spending even though she didn't buy anything but groceries and what you need to raise six kids. I was projecting that learned childhood behavior on my husband.

                          That isn't the only example and now that we figured that out we are more likely to stop and think about where something is coming from.
                          Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

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                          • i think that's very apt. i point this out to him sometimes (not so helpful as i intend, i'm sure). other times i notice that i reacted to the past rather then the present, and when i point it out, he accuses me of making excuses.
                            my primal journal:
                            http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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                            • Learning to dance the communication dance is one of the hardest things to do. BTW, what are you doing to destress? Bubblebath? Foot massage?? Nora Roberts???
                              Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

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                              • ummm...pretty much nothing. i'm basically a single mom of three kids (one is a baby). my husband doesn't think that "destressing" is a priority, thus i feel uncomfortable with the idea of spending money on anything that i'd want to do (like dance classes, for example). sometimes i stretch/meditate (not quite the same as yoga, but similar). once in a while i'm able to take a shower or a bath by myself when the kids are asleep. it's fairly rare.
                                my primal journal:
                                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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