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Saoirse's Primal Journal

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  • Well speaking as a man who had a divorced initiated on him, I admire you both for remaining civil. We managed to do that too for the sake of our children. They are now fully grown and seem not to have been ruined as a result. Of course it was not easy, but since we both focused on easing the children through the process it was easier not to give in to the hurt and become angry and bitter.

    It turned out to be a good thing (looking at it in the rear view mirror). I'm glad in retrospect that she had the strength to end it when she did. I think I would've tried to keep fixing it at the expense of all of our happiness.

    At first we stayed friends, which was important to the kids, but now we've drifted apart, not out of animosity, just because the kids are grown and there really isn't a reason to remain close. It was a good partnership (raising the kids), far better than the relationship.
    Height: 5' 10"
    Starting Weight: 292
    Starting Primal Weight: 275
    Current weight: 224
    Goal weight: 172
    Body Fat 30.5

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    • If it makes you feel any better to send me pictures of the naughty librarian, I mean, I guess I could take one for the team and humor you.
      If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by justyouraveragecavemen View Post
        Well...that escalated quickly.
        yes i suppose it did. honestly, i've been trying to make it work for years, and finally decided that i wasn't doing anyone any favors. sometimes you hear "give it time, it gets better." I gave a lot of time, and tried a lot of different ways to make life better (better communication, better attitude, giving in and giving up on expectations, etc.) and in the end I think it's just time to give up and move on.
        Originally posted by Jenny View Post
        I was really wondering about you and him in particular since I remembered some eyebrow-raising stories earlier in thread.

        Speaking as someone who had to initiate a divorce myself: it really is rough on everyone, including yourself during the transition, but congratulations. You have the right attitude. "Breaking up the family" can genuinely be the healthiest possible option for everyone emotionally, including the kids.

        What I mean is... even if you love someone, that doesn't mean you can have a healthy relationship with them...

        Glad he's being a reasonably good sport about it, considering. That's a good start and I hope it continues even later. Wouldn't want the kids to get yanked around unnecessarily after all.

        Personally, I'm just really glad I didn't listen to my ex when he was like "Let's just have a baby, that'll distract you, right?" That was one of the last straws, actually.

        As for how I am... in the micro view, I've had a really tough couple of months. But in the macro view, I am still in a great living situation, relationship, job, kids are progressing nicely through life, future looks bright and stable, etc. I just need to more effectively convert my motivation into actual self-discipline for my own health's sake.
        thank you Jenny. He's not a bad guy, but our family has no sense of cohesiveness. i think that's one reason i don't feel insanely guilty for divorcing him. we've always done our separate things even though i've tried to bring us together, and now we'll be doing separate things in separate places. Our kids know that we love them, and I think they're going to pull through this ok.

        Originally posted by DCarr10760 View Post
        Well speaking as a man who had a divorced initiated on him, I admire you both for remaining civil. We managed to do that too for the sake of our children. They are now fully grown and seem not to have been ruined as a result. Of course it was not easy, but since we both focused on easing the children through the process it was easier not to give in to the hurt and become angry and bitter.

        It turned out to be a good thing (looking at it in the rear view mirror). I'm glad in retrospect that she had the strength to end it when she did. I think I would've tried to keep fixing it at the expense of all of our happiness.
        we're trying. it seems to be getting harder.

        At first we stayed friends, which was important to the kids, but now we've drifted apart, not out of animosity, just because the kids are grown and there really isn't a reason to remain close. It was a good partnership (raising the kids), far better than the relationship.
        that's my hope for us; a good partnership for the kids. we've done that somewhat ok, and since he'll have clear boundaries of what's going to be expected of him (I'm not cleaning up after his messes if i'm living in a separate house, for example), most of the issues that we failed to cooperate on will be moot.

        Originally posted by justyouraveragecavemen View Post
        If it makes you feel any better to send me pictures of the naughty librarian, I mean, I guess I could take one for the team and humor you.
        lol. as a young woman going through divorce, i'm facing somewhat tight scrutiny from some family and the soon-to-be-ex. i should probably be good.
        my primal journal:
        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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        • I wish you the best, Rachel. This is a tough thing to do.
          Primal since 9/24/2010
          "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

          Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
          MFP username: MDAPebbles67

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          • Thank you Paula.
            my primal journal:
            http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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            • Originally posted by Jenny View Post
              You have the right attitude. "Breaking up the family" can genuinely be the healthiest possible option for everyone emotionally, including the kids.
              Keep telling yourselves that ladies.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Shanes View Post
                Keep telling yourselves that ladies.
                I believe I speak for both of them when I say "fuck off, troll."
                Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                My Latest Journal

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                • Originally posted by Shanes View Post
                  Keep telling yourselves that ladies.
                  someone's obviously never grown up with unhappy parents
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                    I believe I speak for both of them when I say "fuck off, troll."
                    snort
                    my primal journal:
                    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                    Comment


                    • soon-to-be-ex has specifically told me in the past that he doesn't want me to stay with him because of the kids, and sometimes he wishes his parents had divorced. I consider the guilt shared evenly. regardless, I feel somewhere around 0% responsibility to you douchebag, so feel free to say whatever you'd like without worrying about my feelings.
                      my primal journal:
                      http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                        I believe I speak for both of them when I say "fuck off, troll."
                        I wish I was simply a troll.

                        Divorce is bad for kids*, pretending it's a good thing for the kids is a flat out lie. It's a lie women tell themselves to block the guilt. What's more depressing is how much celebration there is around divorce, look at people congratulating her.

                        Regardless, it is good that women show men how frivolous they treat marriage. Men can adjust to the new social order that way.

                        *This shouldn't have to be mentioned, but someone will bring it up I'm sure. In some cases, like abuse, divorce would be a good option, but that isn't the case most often.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Shanes View Post
                          I wish I was simply a troll.

                          Divorce is bad for kids*, pretending it's a good thing for the kids is a flat out lie. It's a lie women tell themselves to block the guilt. What's more depressing is how much celebration there is around divorce, look at people congratulating her.

                          Regardless, it is good that women show men how frivolous they treat marriage. Men can adjust to the new social order that way.

                          *This shouldn't have to be mentioned, but someone will bring it up I'm sure. In some cases, like abuse, divorce would be a good option, but that isn't the case most often.
                          I think you need to define abuse.

                          Comment


                          • considering the fact that you have been a member of the forum since aug '11 (when my husband and i were having some real brawls) and yet haven't posted anywhere until now (in my journal nonetheless), I'm going to guess you're someone i know personally, who lacks the balls to talk to me directly. that's awesome. this would be out of character for my soon-to-be-ex, so i'm pretty sure I know who you are; and now i know you have no balls. and now you're also on my ignore list.
                            my primal journal:
                            http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by marcadav View Post
                              I think you need to define abuse.
                              I don't, it is irrelevant to this specific instance.

                              Saoirse I absolutely guarantee you that we do not know each other. So whoever you are thinking of accusing, I assure you that I am not him.

                              Comment


                              • lol. durr...you must be right.
                                my primal journal:
                                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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