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Saoirse's Primal Journal

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  • That's why I insisted on highlights instead of a full-head dye. My hair grows- as the hairdresser put it- like a weed. So the chunks were perpetually different lengths of grown out so I didn't have a solid dye-line. As far as the last round- I got pissed off, dyed it blue, and when it started to go green I dyed it brown so it wouldn't be terrifically obvious that I was growing it out. I'm not sure how that would work on blond hair, though. (hmm- I really need to re-dye the top of my blond streak. At some point)

    I think if you keep it subtle and the chunks a bit uneven, it could be done on an "as able" basis.

    It is unfortunate that ass or moron are the choices.
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

    Comment


    • lol, yeah.
      my primal journal:
      http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

      Comment


      • I really wish that I had something to offer up **edit- obviously, once I got started, I found something to say. Derp** ... I was going to try about 10 pages back, but the ball kept rolling and I think that my experiences are either too f*ked up to relate to this of as with current husband... he just wouldn't.

        I mean.. he knows how I am as far as sexual preference. We offer up any nice packages we see (female) to each other pretty regularly. Sometimes we don't agree 100%, but since it's something that we share I never look at it as a "Hey... you should be more like "x", rather than just "wow... look, BOOBS over your left shoulder!"
        But he doesn't send me pics with comments about how he likes certain things... I think he would see that as just plain rude.
        We are all imperfect... and generally aware of out imperfections. None of us need another person pointing them out.

        I'm not perfect... and neither is he. FAR from it! He could easily offer up a hundred examples of hotter women, and I could offer up a hundred examples of hotter/more financially desirable men who I'd probably actually have a SHOT with unlike the ones he'd throw out (I'm aware of the special group of pretty hot men who prefer a chunky girl).
        BUT I choose him, and he chooses me. We have real reasons for that. For instance I trust him... nothing is more important to me than that. And for him... I'm very low maintenance and laid back. He never has to "ask" to do anything like most of the guys he knows. And I'm also game for anything... I tend to take life as it comes with a very zen attitude. There have been things he chose to do on my birthday or whatever that really had NOTHING to do with me. Most women tend to get mad and either go and pout or just plain throw a fit. I dive in and have fun!

        I think it's the choice that makes the biggest difference. I choose my husband very rationally. Yes I love him, more than I ever thought I would to be honest. But I chose to be with him because of the stability that he could give me.
        And I think that he made a choice too. I couldn't have kids... he didn't want to have kids. We got along as friends and I gave him space to be moody when he gets that way.
        And it helped that we were sexually compatible.
        I think that sometimes it's important for everyone to remember that even the giddy feelings of love can be cultivated... it's just a different sort of process than regular marriage duties,and can be defeated by little things and biting remarks much easier.

        I do comment on men occasionally... though few really spark my interest. His comment is usually "If that's what you need to be happy, go get it..." Which I assume is his man way of saying... "I really don't care if you think that enormous neanderthal freak of a man is HOT woman... I'm the one who takes care of your business."
        So... yeah, that's true for men. Bunch of damn honey badgers! LOL

        ***#ramblin
        Last edited by cori93437; 05-25-2012, 01:09 PM.
        “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
        ~Friedrich Nietzsche
        And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

        Comment


        • Cori- I was wondering about that. I mean, I have looked at women with men, but I can look at it from a "would I hit that" perspective, which would make her less competition and more potential fun.

          And, just curious, your husband does know how lucky he is to have you, right? Hmm- as I was typing that I realized it applies to both Cori and Saoirse.
          http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

          Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

          And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

          Comment


          • i feel bad that i can't be like that, cori. but i just can't right now. i've tried, and each time i end up just feeling really hurt. he also kind of wishes that i was bi, but as far as pictures go, i'm not. i'm not turned off by the idea of *doing* something with another lady, but pictures are a different ballgame. a woman is real, she has faults, insecurities, and a personality. a picture is usually airbrushed, photoshopped, and totally dehumanized. i think that's part of why it's so offensive to me.
            my primal journal:
            http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

            Comment


            • Ok... I guess I need to add something. Yes husband and I share looking at women as an "I'd hit that" sort of thing.

              HOWEVER... husband not only is not interested in me bringing a partner to bed with us (and I've offered it very openly), he isn't interested in hearing about my FonF exploits from back in the day either. He totally just doesn't perve on it. Weird but true. Only man on the planet I think.

              I think if I ever really expresses a NEED for an additional female partner that he would reluctantly give me the option... but done separate from him.

              And I do understand where you are coming from Saoirse... when things are already on shaky ground the small slights just cut 100x harder. I've been in abusive relationship where this was done on purpose to keep me weak. It's not ever good to not feel "good enough" and I think that's what it comes down to... the "am I good enough" or "do you think I'm good enough"... that eventually become a part of our own voice and how we think of ourselves.

              And don't feel bad that you can't be like that right now... you've been poked and prodded in completely the wrong way IMO. He may not KNOW how manipulative he's being, but it doesn't change the fact that you feel completely manipulated by what he is doing... and you've made him aware of that!

              IMO don't ever do something just because you think that's what another person wants. If you would want to be with a woman on your own alone without husband within a million miles, just don't. It has to be your idea first and foremost, not something done to please... that would go sideways so fast you don't even want to know. I've seen it. It just doesn't work. Resentment on the grandest scale.
              Last edited by cori93437; 05-25-2012, 02:16 PM.
              “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
              ~Friedrich Nietzsche
              And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

              Comment


              • Don't feel bad about it! It's part of who you are! You demand more than the surface. I fail to see how that is a bad thing. (Personally, that's why I prefer amature porn- they're less perfect and look way less bored ) And he can want you to be bi all he wants, but it's your mind/body- not his to dictate to. *shrug* Tough cookies, hubby
                http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

                Comment


                • Dang it Cori- why do you keep saying the same things as me but way, way better? Yeesh.


                  (kidding, of course- only slightly jealous)
                  http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                  Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                  And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by drssgchic View Post
                    Dang it Cori- why do you keep saying the same things as me but way, way better? Yeesh.


                    (kidding, of course- only slightly jealous)
                    I've been to LOTS of therapy. LOL
                    I figure that has to count for something.
                    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by cori93437 View Post
                      I've been to LOTS of therapy. LOL
                      I figure that has to count for something.
                      Huh- guess that means I only went to just enough therapy Good of you to not charge us for the headshrinking
                      http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                      Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                      And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by cori93437 View Post
                        And I do understand where you are coming from Saoirse... when things are already on shaky ground the small slights just cut 100x harder. I've been in abusive relationship where this was done on purpose to keep me weak. It's not ever good to not feel "good enough" and I think that's what it comes down to... the "am I good enough" or "do you think I'm good enough"... that eventually become a part of our own voice and how we think of ourselves.
                        you're right. and i don't know how to get away from that dynamic.

                        And don't feel bad that you can't be like that right now... you've been poked and prodded in completely the wrong way IMO. He may not KNOW how manipulative he's being, but it doesn't change the fact that you feel completely manipulated by what he is doing... and you've made him aware of that!

                        IMO don't ever do something just because you think that's what another person wants. If you would want to be with a woman on your own alone without husband within a million miles, just don't. It has to be your idea first and foremost, not something done to please... that would go sideways so fast you don't even want to know. I've seen it. It just doesn't work. Resentment on the grandest scale.
                        i wouldn't. it's something that we've talked about and appeals to me to some degree. but i told him that if i was to try something out with another woman, it would seem inequitable that he'd get to watch so it would be just me and that lady with him no where near. he said he might be okay with that. whatever the case, i wouldn't dream of ACTUALLY bringing someone else into either of our lives unless we had years of marital stability under our belts, which we obviously don't.

                        when i'm in the mood, amateur porn isn't that bad. the dynamic is usually quite different and the people usually look like people.
                        my primal journal:
                        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                        Comment


                        • My goal: to become Cori's male desiderata. Her fuzz butter. All y'all's fuzz butter.

                          I shall keep working to attain, even though technically, and this is just a very minor technical detail, I am old as motherfuck. As in, fuck, motherfuck, possibly. Oh why.

                          Can I just morph into Gadsie?

                          Comment


                          • if you're looking for sex appeal, you're much better where you are than a teenager with body issues (or a teenager at all).
                            my primal journal:
                            http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Finnegans Wake View Post
                              My goal: to become Cori's male desiderata. Her fuzz butter. All y'all's fuzz butter.

                              I shall keep working to attain, even though technically, and this is just a very minor technical detail, I am old as motherfuck. As in, fuck, motherfuck, possibly. Oh why.

                              Can I just morph into Gadsie?
                              Do NOT morph into a Gadfly, please.
                              Maturity is always preferred to the vapid grasping at straws of such youth as that.
                              I also believe him to be as false as the day is long.

                              You are welcome into my fold as a fuzz butter on the side if for your name alone my dear...
                              "a way a lone a last a loved a long the...
                              ...riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend
                              of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to
                              Howth Castle and Environs."

                              ...shall I make you my violer d'amores? Some of those implications, if translated directly, are rather racy.
                              (and I'm quite sure Joyce was intending all the possibilities)

                              Alas, I have not yet read FW c2c... I have dabbled in it, and read other Joyce of course, but FW I admit is a bit of a challenge.
                              Hmm... another I need to move to the front lines of my "to be read" shelf.
                              Of course I may be left completely blank by the time I finish it too...
                              Last edited by cori93437; 05-25-2012, 10:04 PM.
                              “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                              ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                              And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                              Comment


                              • I'm sure we talked about this in PMs, but i thought "Finnegan's Wake" referred to the Irish song.


                                *edit* lol, wrong video.
                                Last edited by Saoirse; 05-25-2012, 09:58 PM.
                                my primal journal:
                                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                                Comment

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