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Primal Journal - Debbie

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  • Isn't it fun to go shopping in your closet? And how nice to have classic taste in clothes. When I look at fashion and glamour blogs, it's the really classic looks that I like the best.
    My Primal Journal

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    • Originally posted by Ellie G View Post
      Isn't it fun to go shopping in your closet? And how nice to have classic taste in clothes. When I look at fashion and glamour blogs, it's the really classic looks that I like the best.
      *waving wildly and smiling*

      Hi Ellie G! Yes ... I do like shopping in my closet. I never thought of it that way. I am tall so, even when I was young and slender, my taste in clothing was simple and classic. I'll never forget my husband's 10 year HS reunion: it was 1989 and women were wearing dresses that poufed at the bottom like a balloon and had great big bows on their asses. OMG! What a look! I was going condo with our second child and wore what pregnant women wore back then ... a large garment made by Omar the Tent Maker. Still ... even if I wasn't giving birth shortly thereafter, I would not have worn a big bow anywhere, let alone at the widest part of my body. aye yai yai

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      • Got up at 7 and had two cups of coffee with cream. Ran errands. Painted first coat of "tea & honey" in the bathroom ... the paint color with the tiles feels very southwestern in there ... just what I need on a cold, northeastern day.

        I was hungry but after all that eating out yesterday, 'food' did not appeal to me. The hunger increased ... it became difficult to ignore. So, I dumped about four cups of baby arugula in a large bowl, squeezed the juice of one lemon all over and tossed it, added a can of light tuna in olive oil. It was delicious and satisifying.

        I need to clean up. I am meeting my friend at the track at 1:00. If it's not too cold for her; she really hates the cold. I have more errands to run and will consider painting the second coat tonight ... could just as easily do it tomorrow morning before work.

        Something new, that I attribute to the PB, is my changing attitude toward food and social gatherings. I've always enjoyed eating out with family and friends. Partly because of the company; partly because I always did all the cooking and it was nice to be served. I realized, this past week, as I was mindlessly popping dark chocolate in my mouth, that I don't really want food the way I used to ... it's more like I'm conditioned ... all those years of enjoying treats or holiday foods, associating the good times with family and friends with the "being out" and someone else doing the work ... but the truth is, I'd just as soon take care of my food needs and do other things with family and friends, besides eat.

        Whoa ... I can't go busting up other people's traditions just because they no longer feel the same to me. Hmmm ...

        I think the answer lies in being mindful of my values and not responding like Pavlov's dogs. I can eat at home when I want or eat out when I want, but either way still go out with family and friends. The only awkwardness will be in the change, not in the reality of being with them and not eating. It really does not have to be a major study in human psychology.

        I have done this quite a lot in the last few years: realized that things that brought me pleasure for years and years no longer do. I realize that they're habits, nothing more. I think about it and figure out what I really want and then I change. It's not overnight but I don't measure my success in degrees of perfection. There's great satisfaction, for me, in observing and realizing new perspectives and then making the changes needed so that the outcome is my living an authentic life ... not just doing whatever because that's what has always been done ... or it's what others expect of me.

        The PB has really turned out to be more of a lifestyle change for me in so many ways, other than merely the food that I eat.

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        • It was bitter out there, but we were dressed warmly. It took at least a mile before I wasn't freezing, but I failed to bring a scarf to wrap around my nose and mouth ... so I only lasted two miles. I could feel my lungs tightening and I don't need a full-blown asthma attack. Live and learn. I will remember my thick, fleece headband next time (to keep my ears warm) and the aforementioned scarf.

          I have been thinking lately, whenever I go out into twenty-odd-degree weather, that there must be interesting information on the good things that bitter cold weather can do for my body, presuming I am dressed appropriately. It solicits different mechanisms that have evolved over thousands of years. My place is on the chilly side this time of year but I guard against too much heat because it makes breathing difficult for me. Hmmm ...

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          • Upper body: wall push-ups, 3 sets of 8
            dumbbell flies, 3 sets of 8
            dumbbell shoulder press, 2 sets of 8 (getting fatigued; had planned on 3 sets)
            dumbbell lateral raise, 1 set of 8 (!)
            8, 8 & 8's, 3 sets of 8
            bridging head bangers, 3 sets of 8 (what a glorious stretch!)

            Nothing like seeing how much strength I've lost to start the day. =( Well ... no regrets: this is motivation to reclaim what I had and surpass it.

            I have had two cups of coffee with cream. If I get hungry before I leave for work, I'll have California mix (frozen broccoli, cauliflower and carrots) in an omelet. Otherwise, I will wait until lunch, when I'll have a huge serving of the chicken soup I made yesterday, in the crock pot.

            Okay. Got things to do.

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            • I had the vegetables and eggs, but not as an omelet, for breakfast. I had the chicken soup for lunch. I was ravenous on the way home and stopped by Trader Joe's. I ate a whole container of TJ's pastrami when I got home.

              grrrrrrr ...

              How many freakin' times do I have to make this mistake before I learn??? Damn. It.

              I need a LARGE portion of meat at lunch. LARGE. If I eat enough protein and fat at lunch, I don't need dinner. If I need something when I get home, some vegetables will usually do the trick.

              Some learning curves are tough. This should not be one of them. I don't need to analyze this. I just need to make it a habit.

              ugh

              done.

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              • Originally posted by Debbie View Post
                There's great satisfaction, for me, in observing and realizing new perspectives and then making the changes needed so that the outcome is my living an authentic life ... not just doing whatever because that's what has always been done ... or it's what others expect of me.

                The PB has really turned out to be more of a lifestyle change for me in so many ways, other than merely the food that I eat.
                I like this.
                sigpic

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                • Originally posted by MeatMe216 View Post
                  I like this.
                  Thank you, and thank you for taking the time to read my post.

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                  • I went to Michele's for breakfast today. We had egg squares made with green peppers (and, probably, cheese). I brought green and red grapes and we had coffee.

                    For lunch, I brought TJ's turkey and Greek salad. That was tasty and satisfying, and that is the answer for me. Salads can be normal or huge or somewhere in between but without a lot of meat, they won't hold me. It's got to be, at least, a six ounce can of tuna ... or one of those TJ packages of coldcuts. So ... I guess I'm going to be expensive to feed. Oh well.

                    I have a good soreness from yesterday morning's workout. My trap's, delt's, triceps, biceps and pec's all got a wake up call. Tomorrow, the bugle will sound for my ab's. I won't be sore from that workout until, probably, well into Thursday but by tomorrow morning, my upper body will be a mite uncomfortaable. *eye roll*

                    Well ... I got home late from work, even later than normal because my mom called before I left the building, so I hung out in the locker room to chat. I have post-painting clean up to do. It's not an "I have to" but an "I want to", so I'm gonna go do that now.

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                    • Ab's:
                      warm up and 100 trunk twists
                      25 each of regular crunches, right obligue crunches, left oblique crunches and rectus ab lift

                      I suspect this was not enough because I still had plenty of energy but not enough time. My form is good but I am very, very weak. I am learning about what I need as much as testing/strengthening myself, though. It does no good to blindly forge forth, hurting myself to the point of being unable to continue.

                      I have things to do before going to work so I gotta git. I don't know what I'm eating for breakfast but, for lunch, I'll have a bunch of baby arugula greens, the juice of the 1/2 lemon that's in the fridge, a can of light tuna in oil ... and some homemade chicken soup ... and 4,000 IU of Vit D, 400 mg of magnesium and 400 mg of calcium.

                      ciao

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                      • This week has been silly busy.

                        Um ... yesterday ... a smoothy with almond milk, banana and honey and the holiday luncheon was a piece of filet mignon and stuffed something (pork? chicken? not sure), and salad. Passed on the ravioli with pesto cream and garlic-y mashed potatoes. Passed on dinner.

                        I have a headache, I will finish the coffee and cream tomorrow and I am not dreading it. hmmm ... that's nice ... it's nice when I am ready to do what I've said I'm going to do. It does not mean it will be easy; it just means it won't be as hard. I'm not looking to quit forever but I'd like it to be *social*, like alcohol is social.

                        Today. Egads. Um, breakfast will be eggs and bacon. Lunch will be bacon, cheddar cheeseburger without the rolls or fries and salad on the side with my friend Mary Ann (at work) and dinner? I don't know ... going down to see my son be inducted into an honor society, of which the Greek letters I cannot remember. He'll steal away from some other dinner to meet his father and I for the ceremony, and then go back to the dinner and his father and I will leave. Anyway. I am looking forward to seeing him and know it's been hard work to squeeze in all that productivity with a girlfriend and active social life and am glad he's enjoying it.

                        gotta run

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                        • Can't get a signal with my wireless router. argh I am using son's little laptop now. Yesterday, I did 3 sets of 8 rep's of squats and lunges, and 1 set of 25 calf raises. Yeah, I feel it ... and I didn't even use weights! What a wuss! If the me from 2007 could see the me of 2010, she'd ask, "What the hell happened?" But, she'd give me a little shove and say 'welcome back ... stick around this time', too.

                          Okay. Yesterday I had homemade chicken soup with hot sauce added, for breakfast and lunch. Lunch included baby arugula dressed with fresh lemon and a can of light tuna in olive oil.

                          Today, I had bacon, broccoli and eggs. That was many, many hours ago and I need to eat something else now. I am at the house making cookies for tomorrow's cookie swap and, no, they are not primal. *shoulder shrug* Whatever. They're drop cookies made with semi-sweet chocolate morsels, peanut butter, raisins and corn flakes. Tomorrow will not even be 80/20. It's not that I will eat so many cookies but that I will definitely have a couple hot buttered rums, along with some appetizers.

                          HOPEFULLY, my wireless router will kick in and I'll be able to post from the comfort of my place.

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                          • I'm online again. Yay me!

                            I forgot to mention that Maribel and I went on a nice neighborhood walk yesterday. There's inclines and people to wave at, and we get to see the progress people've made on home renovations, so it's much better than the track. It was probably about three miles.

                            I had a coffee with cream this morning, from McDonald's. I went to the mall and got 98% of my shopping done. The rest of the stuff will come from the liquor store and the drug store. ha ha ha ... that sounds pathetic ... I am cooking up the last of the bacon, throwing in the last of the broccoli, and will top that with two eggs. I'll be at the cookie swap in two hours ...

                            I am thinking about what I am going to do tomorrow, to work out my upper. I don't want to do the same thing as last week, even if I could not even do it all. I will do something else and then, next week, try last week's schedule and see if I am any stronger at all ... if I can even do all the rep's.

                            It's nasty, cold, rainy blech today. It can't be that cold because there was thunder and lightening, but I'm going to guess low forties. I don't live in a cardboard box under the freeway so it's not really that big a deal, for me. I guess I'm just being a noodge ... we have weather every day, whether it's enjoyable or not, so whatever.

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                            • I had a good time at the cookie swap. No, I was not primal but neither was I an out-of-control pig. The *experts* have their definitions for addiction but I tell you this: I was addicted to sugar/carb's/whateveryouwannacallit. I used to eat when I was not hungry ... when I was full and felt ill and wondered what the hell was wrong with me that I was shoving food down my gullet. That just does not happen anymore. I eat. I enjoy it. I stop. It's no big deal.

                              As a matter of fact, I was thinking that even if my ab's, hamstrings, and quads are sore, my upper is no longer ... and tomorrow is my upper day ... and I am looking forward to my workout tomorrow. I was thinking this while drinking a hot-buttered rum. It was so good, I had three in small delicate porcelin tea cups. =)

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                              • My friend, Maribel, is Honduran. She makes all kinds of interesting things to eat and drink. Right now, I am heating up a beverage that can also be enjoyed cold. I know, because I just had some cold before pouring the rest in the saucepan ... it's made with fresh ginger and it's got a peppery zing after you swallow. She said there was coconut in it, too. I am cold so that's why I'll drink the rest hot.

                                The food she brought to the cookie swap party is one of my favorite things that she makes. She calls it 'chile quiles' (sp?). She cuts corn tortillas in half and fries them, tops them with her homemade refried beans; shredded chicken that has been cooked with onions, garlic and spices; and shredded pepper Jack cheese. Primal? No. Delicious? OMG!

                                I can just tell this ginger beverage is a health tonic. I bet this stuff would kill a virus. It's tasty but powerful. Speaking of tasty but powerful, she's going to give me some rum from Nicaragua (where her husband and sons are from) to put in the mulled cider I brought home from the party. Primal? No. Delicious? You have to ask if hot buttered rum is delicious? ha ha ha ha ha

                                Okay. I am going to cook now. I'm going to make a spicy potroast with carrots, cauliflower, broccoli and brussel sprouts. This will probably feed me for three or four meals. I have escarole and cans of tuna in olive oil. I should probably limit myself to two cans of tuna a week ... so that will be two lunches ... once with fresh lemon and the other time with vinegar. I have one can of chicken and some frozen, allegedly wild salmon. Oh. And two eggs.

                                Coffee: gone. Cream: gone. Almond milk: almost gone. I have been eating nuts only once or twice a week now ...

                                This should hold me for a few days.

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