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SPENT---Using PB to heal from Major Stress Syndrome--PB Challenge Journal

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  • #31
    Originally posted by PrimalWannabeGirl View Post
    rest assured I will try the topical magnesium! I've never even heard of it before.
    Here are some magnesium links I've saved - most of them are for threads here:!...cUZAoQ0JqQqbIl

    iherb referral code CIL457- $5 off first order


    • #32
      *Kat* Thank you.

      It is so odd to me to be in this chronic fatigue/chronic pain situation. I once did a gig consulting to a chronic pain clinic, and I must say I was not very compassionate. Growing up with a mom who used her physical problems as an excuse for her physically and emotionally abusive behavior, I came to have a dim view of folks with chronic ailments. Especially those for whom the payoff was the secondary (or primary) gain: disability payments so they didn't have to work at jobs they hated; getting out of family and household responsibilities; using their conditions to manipulate folks around them, etc.

      I had such distate for these things I swore I never would be like that. *cough, cough*

      If nothing else, I have learned something about compassion. I have learned that I don't have to be depressed just because I'm tired and I hurt. I've learned that I can take ownership of my experience and not inflict it upon those I love. I suppose I needed a lesson in heart, so the Universe handed me this one. Perhaps what is needed is a little less pride "(I am not a typical chronic pain kvetch)"---and a little more humility and heart.

      It is what it is.

      I had a lovely breakfast of spinach and shallots sauteed in bacon fat with a couple of eggs, and 3 slices of bacon.

      My pain has diminished considerably.

      I'm going to meditate now, then go to the Y to the hot tub and steam bath. Then to market with Greg to stock up on foods that he likes and that are good for him.



      • #33
        Just popping in to say hello. Sounds like you're hanging in, all things considered.


        • #34
          Yes, I am hanging in there, gottaluvalab. Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it.

          This afternoon is MUCH better after a rocky start to the day. I walked with Greg for a mile in the woods. We both LOVED it and plan to walk 1.5 miles tomorrow.

          FOOD/SUPPLEMENTS: Took my supplements
          B: 2 eggs with shallots and spinach; 3 slices bacon
          L: a little roasted turkey breast with 1/2 avocado
          D: BBQ ribs, sweet potato fries, sauteed kale

          LOW LEVEL ACTIVITY: 1 mile walk in woods

          MINDFULNESS PRACTICE: 20 min. sitting meditation


          ONE FUN SOCIAL THING PER WEEK (PLAY): it was fun walking in the woods...

          ONE HOME MAINTENANCE ACTIVITY PER DAY: marketing! If I have energy for it, I will declutter one more section of Greg's room.


          • #35
            ok. are you on some major vitamin D yet? What about Greg? This time of year, at your latitude, there is no meaningful UVB to produce vitamin D - even if you stay outside naked all day.


            iherb referral code CIL457- $5 off first order


            • #36
              Originally posted by PrimalWannabeGirl View Post
              Inspiring you? Au are inspiring me. Left a note on your thread this morning.
              *whispers......we will inspire each other then*

              iherb referral code CIL457- $5 off first order


              • #37
                Yes, Katherine, I think we will!

                Yes, everybody here takes Vitamin D. Greg weighs 240 lbs. and I alternate weeks---one week I give him 5000U/day, the next week 10,000U/day. We are due for a Vit. D level in December. I take 5000U/day and I have never tested deficient on that dose. My morning supplements are fish oil, Vit. D, and a multivitamin.

                I am SO PSYCHED about Greg loving our hike today. His mood is so distinctly better----elevated, but calm. I truly believe in the healing nature of....well, NATURE! I also felt so very good after our hike. No sciatic pain, no foot pain.

                My athletic, Crossfitting, long-distance cycling self wouldn't recognize me now. I need a great deal of rest, and I make sure I get it. Tomorrow I am going to a 2 hour restorative yoga/energy healing class. (Surely Grok and Grokkette had need of the shaman and medicine woman, no?) That is my meditation plan for the morrow.

                I came across the lyrics for the Leonard Cohen song, ANTHEM, and the chorus speaks to me:
                Ring the bells that still can ring
                Forget your perfect offering
                There is a crack, a crack in everything
                That's how the light gets in

                That explains how I can feel so broken, so damaged and so profoundly tired, but at the same time, filled with light.



                • #38
                  Sorry you're having such trouble with pain.

                  What I try -- the magnesium oil, of course.

                  Calcium AEP -- helps heal nerves and myelin by protecting and defending cell and mitochondrial membranes

                  Calcium orotate -- helps heal cartilage

                  turmeric -- I have some in a jelly jar next to the stove, and scatter some into omelettes or stir fries. I keep a little souvenir spoon there to get some from the jar.

                  Phosphatidyl serine -- nerves. Just starting it.

                  Alpha lipoic acid, selenium, chromium, acetyl-l-carnitine ... anti-oxidants

                  Ubiquinol for general energy -- it's a form of CoQ-10.

                  Niacinamide can help your frame of mind, and it's sometimes good for muscle pain.

                  Methyl B12 and benfotiamine -- very good for nerves. Benfotiamine is also good to prevent and reverse glycation.

                  Of course, I take a heap of stuff due to my convalescing from Miller Fisher, far more than I took before. Some of it I plan to continue, though.

                  Sources of magnesium oil ----

                  The "proper" kind, more expensive, but a little of the "oil" goes a long way:

                  What seems to be the same thing, but less expensive, from Swanson -- but the discussion on "Ancient Minerals" site is a lot better:

                  The flakes:

                  You can also try Googling "nigari", which is food-grade Japanese magnesium chloride, used for making tofu. Sometimes one can find a real deal on it, which is probably the least expensive way to get transdermal magnesium. Either use quite a lot of the flakes in a bath or foot bath, or put some in a jar and cover with filtered water, then add more once they are dissolved. It isn't quite as clear as Ancient Minerals Magnesium Oil, but it'll work.

                  Nigari, from my first hit: $6.50 a pound.

                  If you feel like being convinced, you can read the Ancient Minerals website for the details.

                  Testimonial: I had terrible insomnia from Miller Fisher, and even after the pain receded I just could hardly get to sleep, and when I did I'd usually wake up after an hour and a half, and then wait till dawn to drift off again. I struggled with it for over a month ... magnesium oil fixed it mostly the first night, and completely by the second night.


                  • #39
                    PDL... I'm going to check out those magnesium oil links! It's something I have on my "investigate" list... and insomnia (more, waking up after 5 hours and then crappy on and off sleep after that) has been a problem lately.

                    PWG... I think I know what you mean about the cracks letting light in. While I don't like being "sick"... and it's been frustrating trying to figure all of this out... I think I've learned so much about myself, about caring for myself, about not overdoing it... and knowing when to stop. I also am eating better than I have in my life... and giving myself more nutrients, minerals, etc. than I ever have. I've been in kind of a life change in many ways, going back to school and finally figuring out what I want to be when I grow up but also apparently learning how to make the most of things. And I love Leonard Cohen

                    How was the healing class? i'm intrigued! I had acupuncture on Friday for the first time... very interesting! I figured I should try to hit fixing my illnesses from every single angle available. Meditation is still on the list, though I do short ones... but I need to really make that time every day and that hasn't happened yet...
                    sigpic "Boy I got vision and the rest of the world is wearing bifocals" - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid


                    • #40
                      Geeze, it's been a while since I've posted.

                      I had my attention diverted by yet another series of stresses, with my kids and then with my own health. I developed plantar fasciitis and had an episode of pretty severe back pain and sciatica. This tells me I have inflammatory processes affecting my lumbar-sacral spine now. Given my history of two operations already on my spine, these symptoms cause me a fair amount of anxiety.

                      A big problem I have is that when it gets really stressful, I turn to food for medication, and you just KNOW it ain't a plate of bacon 'n eggs I crave when life gets overwhelming.

                      This morning, I wound up crying to my husband, letting him know just how sick, tired and broken I am. It helped. I hate feeling this way and I've been pretending I am fine so as not to have to accept and deal with the fact that I am completely, utterly, brokenly SPENT.

                      I did two things last week to the good: I ordered Primal Calm and Master Control Formula from Mark's store, and I made an appointment to see a new primary care doc. And I'm here. I so clearly need a nutrient dense, wheat-free diet.

                      Today I am going to make an appointment for a massage.



                      • #41
                        Pesky inflammation:/ I'm so sorry you're feeling poorly and am hopeful that the new supplements will be beneficial. ETA: how's your sleep coming? interrupted sleep is always a huge inflammation trigger for me. In fact, after a month of sleep distruption I had my CRP tested and it went up 9-fold - from .5 to 4.9.

                        I too find that while sometimes all of the cognitive-behavior tricks really do help, there are times - as you found this morning - just letting it all out can really help.

                        I really do find tumeric helpful....just 1/4 tsp on my tongue washed down with water, twice a day. Cheap and easy too.

                        Last edited by cillakat; 10-04-2010, 07:26 AM.

                        iherb referral code CIL457- $5 off first order


                        • #42
                          PWG... definitely do the massage. Those things save me so many times... though I tend to not keep going enough to get everything "worked out"... but still...

                          I've totally been there... trying to keep going when my body and mind are just empty. No gas. And unfortunately the stressors don't understand you don't have the energy to deal with them.

                          Have you looked into meditation at all? I'm actually thinking of doing that soon... but one thing I did do back in the dark days was to use some visualization. Just sit and visualize myself in a happy place (usually involved a beach, a hammock, a book and a drink), deep breathing and such. Nothing structured, but it really did help me out at times of high stress...
                          sigpic "Boy I got vision and the rest of the world is wearing bifocals" - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid


                          • #43
                            Kathering and Minxxa, thank you both SO VERY MUCH for your kind replies. It means a great deal to me to feel understood and accepted, broken as I feel.

                            Minxxa, I do meditate, and it does help. I have days of feeling calm and centered right in the midst of all the crapola. The fact that I am not depressed amazes me. I am not depressed.

                            What I think is that the years of unrelenting stresses have just put me in the hole, physically. This state I'm in feels physical. I'm really good about practicing mind-body self-healing from the mind perspective. I'm just behind the 8 ball with the physical!

                            Sleep has been better, Kat, but it's taken trazodone 100mg. at bedtime to do it. Magnesium didn't help, melatonin didn't help. Trazodone does help.

                            One baby Grok step at a time...



                            • #44
                              Ok.....determined to take care of myself, I soldier on!

                              Today, I went to the Y and just played around in the pool----a little shallow water walking, a little stretching out, a little dog-paddling around. Felt really good. Sat in the hot tub for a bit and relaxed. Then went to the market and did the shopping, careful to buy good Primal stuff for moi.

                              So far:
                              Breakfast: 2 eggs sauteed in bacon fat, 2 strips of good bacon, 1/2 cup of cooked collard greens and onion, topped with toasted pine nuts.
                              Lunch: 1 lamb shank, 1/3 c. lacto-fermented red cabbage sauerkraut

                              I'm planning on Salmon with Pesto, Roasted Root Vegetables for dinner.

                              I got my Viili Cultures for countertop yogurt today, and a special jar for fermenting veggies.

                              I am wiped out.



                              • #45
                                Not a good night's sleep. Go to bed tired, wake up tired. I am writing this not to kvetch (ok, maybe a little kvetch) but so I can look back at this record and see progress I embark on my HEAL PWG quest.

                                This morning I will be taking my supplements/meds:
                                5000 units of Vit. D
                                1 multivitamin
                                3 glucosamine/condroitin
                                3 fish oil capsules
                                600mg. ibuprofen

                                I am waiting for my Master Control Damage Formula (because I'm worth it ) and Primal Calm.

                                Breakfast: 2 lovely strips of nitrate free pastured bacon; 3 smallish lovely free range local eggs; 1 cup of roasted root veggies from last night (beet, turnip, brussel sprout---ok that's not a root!, and sweet potato. All heated/cook in bacon fat.

                                I have chicken legs defrosting for dinner tonight. I will make a wild rice/quinoa pilaf for the grain eaters in my family, and serve the chicken legs with leftover roasted veggies and perhaps a green salad.

                                If I have lunch, it will be something small and probiotic. Like some plain Greek yogurt with nuts and berries.

                                I'm going to stop at the market near me that sells local cream and whole milk. It's pasteurized but not ultra pasteurized and no additives to the cream. I'm going to use half milk/half cream to start my yogurt with Viili cultures. I'm psyched about this!