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Primal Journal - Owly

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  • Also, in today's list of Things That Piss Off Owly, I am just about ready to practice my kettlebell swings on the next young dude who tries to jump in ahead of me at the squat rack. Dude, I am not hanging around here to check out some guy's ass or look hot while loitering near the squat cages. I am waiting my goddamn turn so I can do my workout. Seriously, this shit never happens when my large male partner is waiting for a rack.

    I have decided to stop being so judgmental at the gym, but I do not extend that to 20-ish dudes who think women don't lift and bros who do curls in the squat rack.

    On a related note, I know you are trying to be sweet or whatever, guys, but I really don't need you to load the bar for me. If I'm going to squat with 45s on the bar, I'd better be able to actually put them on, no? This does not cause me to get the kettlebell smash urge, but it does definitely trigger the facepalm instinct. I'm assuming this is maybe intended to be flirtation, but I don't really know. The average 20-ish male gymgoer is a complete mystery in his logic.
    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

    Owly's Journal

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    • Originally posted by Owly View Post
      On a related note, I know you are trying to be sweet or whatever, guys, but I really don't need you to load the bar for me. If I'm going to squat with 45s on the bar, I'd better be able to actually put them on, no? This does not cause me to get the kettlebell smash urge, but it does definitely trigger the facepalm instinct. I'm assuming this is maybe intended to be flirtation, but I don't really know. The average 20-ish male gymgoer is a complete mystery in his logic.
      Well, they're probably typical dude-bros, however, in certain weight lifting circles, it's pretty common to load for other lifters, especially if they're lifting heavy so the lift is fresher *shrugs*

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      • I'm crackin' up here. Assume that 20something year old males are merely fit for sperm donation, and much becomes clear.
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

        B*tch-lite

        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

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        • Originally posted by unsuperb View Post
          Well, they're probably typical dude-bros, however, in certain weight lifting circles, it's pretty common to load for other lifters, especially if they're lifting heavy so the lift is fresher *shrugs*
          See, well, I might buy that except that they're not offering to load for anyone that doesn't have boobs. If it was a serious lifting gym and I saw people loading for each other regularly, sure. But I work out at a city-owned rec centre--a well-equipped one with four Oly platforms and good equipment, true, but not a weightlifting-specific gym.

          The guys who do it aren't the dude-bro types (those dudes often just don't bother unloading the 45s at all, so I have to strip the bar before I can adjust the rack). They're usually about 18 and trying to be all chivalrous or something, I think.

          On a related note, is leaving the 45s on the bench press bar some sort of territory marking thing? I don't mean leaving the bar loaded between your sets; I mean leaving the plates on after your workout. I see guys strip everything except the last pair of plates and leave. It feels a bit to me like saying that you'd better be able to bench that or you shouldn't be there, because if you were just thoughtless, you'd leave it loaded. My goal this year is to get to 135. Again, it's one of those things that makes women feel less than welcome in the weight room.
          “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

          Owly's Journal

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Owly View Post
            On a related note, is leaving the 45s on the bench press bar some sort of territory marking thing? I don't mean leaving the bar loaded between your sets; I mean leaving the plates on after your workout. I see guys strip everything except the last pair of plates and leave. It feels a bit to me like saying that you'd better be able to bench that or you shouldn't be there, because if you were just thoughtless, you'd leave it loaded. My goal this year is to get to 135. Again, it's one of those things that makes women feel less than welcome in the weight room.
            No, they're just dick-bags. I hate it when people don't strip the bars completely after using them >:| I usually encounter this at the squat racks, though.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Owly View Post
              See, well, I might buy that except that they're not offering to load for anyone that doesn't have boobs.
              Well, those things are pretty powerful.

              Here's what gets on my nerves: most of your 20somethings will "bench" way more than they really can, by way of a spotter who is essentially doing bent over rows while the dude heaves and convulses to do a set...only to jump up and exclaim in a voice loud enough to be heard across the gym "Yeah, 4th set of 10 with 275 was hard on me today".

              The free weight section of a gym is 75% posturing, 20% bullshit, and 5% working out.
              If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

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              • So, 90 minutes of yoga yesterday with a lot of core work, and then deadlift day today. I am going to be achy tomorrow. On the bright side, I decided to push hard on the final set and see how many reps I could do at 190. I made 12 reps. Getting stronger? I think yes.

                And now I'm up too late after finishing marking, and I really need to go to bed.
                “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                Owly's Journal

                Comment


                • Whiny post:

                  I'm tired and cranky and headachy and generally a lumpy PMS beast. Send chocolate ASAP.
                  “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                  Owly's Journal

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Owly View Post
                    Whiny post:

                    I'm tired and cranky and headachy and generally a lumpy PMS beast. Send chocolate ASAP.
                    That may be the best description I have ever read. You have my condolences. *sends you chocolate*

                    Comment


                    • My very wise partner has left the house for the evening to hang out with a friend. This is the best choice for both of us under the circumstances.

                      Not sarcasm, by the way. After this many years together, we both know this is pretty much prime time for big arguments, so it's just better to leave each other some space for a day or two and avoid any potential explosions.
                      “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                      Owly's Journal

                      Comment


                      • He didn't come home too soon and you killed him in a hormonal rage did you? Are you on the lam? Need a place to hide for a while? Is the police monitoring your internet usage?
                        If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Owly View Post
                          Whiny post:

                          I'm tired and cranky and headachy and generally a lumpy PMS beast. Send chocolate ASAP.
                          Ohhhhh, can I commiserate - Nurse! Organic, Fair Trade, Dark Chocolate IV STAT!!

                          I told the hubster a couple of years ago that there will come a time when his wife and four daughters will be cycling at the same time... so he should follow my instructions exactly to avoid explosive anarchy. Here they are:

                          1. Shut up. Not a word. Nada, nothing, zip. You are a guy, and clueless about this subject. I wouldn't presume to know about boners or wet dreams, you can't know about this.
                          2. Get in car. Drive to nice upscale grocery store.
                          3. Purchase five large containers of either sorbet or ice cream, depending on the female involved. (Two have dairy allergies)
                          4. Return home, mentioning absolutely nothing of the cost of the super-premium ice cream you just bought. Remember, you are paying to avoid catastrophe, and an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. If you forget, see Number 1.
                          5. Hand deliver ice cream, along with a spoon.
                          6. Go and hide in the office until the females come and get you. When they do this, you are now safe to speak again.
                          7. Repeat monthly.
                          I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Crabbcakes View Post
                            1. Shut up. Not a word. Nada, nothing, zip. You are a guy, and clueless about this subject. I wouldn't presume to know about boners or wet dreams, you can't know about this.
                            Speaking as an ignorant man I am going to ask a very dangerous question....

                            Women experience this time of the month thing for let's say for 40 years. Let's say there are 10 a year to account for occassional misses and the fact the math is easy - 400 in that time. Now, given you experience something 400 times why is it such a bfd? Many women/society seem to hold this rather common event, experienced by roughly 1/2 the world's population as some cause for special treatment/poor behavior. Why is this? What am I as an ignorant man missing?

                            I would look at it something like this...when experiencing your monthly visitor:

                            1. stfu, if you can't be civil, don't speak
                            2. get in the car, go to the store yourself. This is 2013 not 1950.
                            3. Buy what you want so I can't be wrong by misinterpreting your demands
                            4. Return home when you can act like a rational person again
                            5. If you were thoughtful enough to get me something let me know or deliver it.
                            6. Stay the frack away from me until you can act like a rational person again
                            7. repeat monthly

                            I think I am rather spoiled by a wife that doesn't get crazy come that time. I guess ignorance is bliss.

                            (Oh, and CC, that was not meant as a slight to you. I just find the whole way society/tv/the media/etc portrays the whole thing rather insulting to women and men (based on how they are supposed to act))

                            *Edit - it is much like how men are portrayed when sick (even with a cold) - as if we just lay on the couch and ring a bell for service. If any dude really acted that way I would expect their wife to punch them in the throat.
                            Last edited by canio6; 01-24-2013, 08:33 AM.

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                            • Boy howdy canio, I fear your demise is coming rather soon.

                              Let it be known to all the females whom shall read the previous post, let not your hearts be hardened toward this man for he only speaks the truth and the truth, my dear ladies, shall set you free.

                              If your hearts must be hardened, take him swiftly and with mercy. He shall be a martyr for us...Saint Canio he is!
                              If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                                (Oh, and CC, that was not meant as a slight to you. I just find the whole way society/tv/the media/etc portrays the whole thing rather insulting to women and men (based on how they are supposed to act))
                                Hi canio! We are good, I am not taking it as any slight. I like you so much that I think you would have to actively chase me down here on the MDA and engage in some old-fashioned bullying to get me not to like you!

                                I do know what you mean. Popular culture/media portrayal of a whole raft of topics is why the hubster and I decided to go tv-free 12 years ago, and love it. The females of this house do not use Shark Week as an excuse to engage in unacceptable behavior - it is just that some months there really, truly is a mental/brain chemical/emotional component to it that sometimes will turn you into someone you are usually not, and having a GUY, even if it is their beloved daddy, say anything is counterproductive because you are really not reasoning well. Add real pain to the equation, and that is a recipe for some hefty household discontent. It is for these times that I gave hubby a really easy way to deal with it, one guaranteed to work in our household, with a minimum of fuss, as we don't keep ice cream in the house as a pantry item but universally adore it.

                                We are finding that the Primal is helping, so that is a relief, but one of my kids actually takes the pill for severe pain, so this isn't just in our heads or anything; I had to do the same thing way back when. I have fainted from it, for example. Not that I discredit an intelligent, empathetic man's ability to understand, but there are aspects of bleeding heavily into your panties whilst cramping like early labor and not fitting into your normal duds every set of weeks with no relief for oh, say, 40 years, that I think you really need to experience to completely get. It gets on your nerves, this regularly-scheduled torture. If the wife is a light bleeder and stays stable, that is great for both of you!
                                Last edited by Crabbcakes; 01-24-2013, 09:07 AM.
                                I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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