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  • SheGlowsPale's Journal

    I wish I could have thought of a wittier title for this journal, but I couldn't. I decided it was time to make one - I need to hold myself accountable..and maybe a few other people can help me along the way too. I told myself I'd make a journal when I took new progress photos but I'm just not ready for that yet (full body photos still scare the bejesus out of me.)

    I guess I'll start with my story..

    Im 28 years old (soon to be 29...ahhh.) I live in the bronx. At the age of 17 I gained over 100lbs in less then 2 years (oh what a fantastic age to turn into a "fat girl"). About 2 years after that I was diagnosed with PCOS and Insulin Resistance. yay!

    My endocrinologist suggested I lower my carbs..I did..I lost a bunch of weight. My heaviest was 273lbs and I think the lowest I got down to during that point was 199lbs. But being the first time ever dieting I just didn't get what I was really doing, and what I had to continue to do...Id never dieted in my life, I'd never exercised in my life...i didn't come from a family that ever exercised or ate healthy..so I just kind of didn't realize I had to continue doing this or I'd gain it all back..and fast. And of course thats what happened. I went back up to about 240lbs.

    Then 4 years ago I decided I couldn't do this anymore - I was so unhappy with myself..I decided to give South Beach a try and I cut my grains down to 1 grain a day and again, I did fantastic on it. I also started doing interval training cardio...In 2 years I went from about 230lbs to 155-160lbs..

    However, the last 2 years have been absolute hell for me. I started to visit fitness forums and was told over and over that I was wrong for low graining...that I needed to know the difference between good carbs and bad carbs and good fat and bad fat...which is true..however, their idea of good carbs is what wrecked the last 2 years of my diet. I forced down ww pasta and brown rice and oatmeal (if i never have to see another bowl of oatmeal I will die happy) and quinoa (revolting.)..and absolutely killing myself with workouts like p90x..and guess what? no results. NOTHING. I'm not knocking P90X, its a good program and Tony Horton is the shit however I believe the amount of grains I was putting in completely counteracted all hard work I put in.

    I guess the one thing I can say for it is I NEVER gave up. I think it was more out of fear then strength but whatever the reason, I kept going.

    So after 2 grueling years full of real sweat and tears for nothing (actually I GAINED 7lbs of fat!) I told CW to go screw itself, I'm going back to low carb.

    I blame grains for 2 years of pure hell. And myself really. I should have fucking known since I'm Insulin Resistant and even my Endo told me to cut that shit out. WTF.

    So in May I mentioned on a fitness forum that I was going to get all my carbs from vegetables and fruit..nothing else. and I got a lot of "thats unrealistic and unhealthy" responses (unrealistic? really? because obsessive calorie counting is? I swear calorie counting leads to mental disorders)

    But one girl mentioned that that is what she does and its the best decision she ever made and that she was doing PB...I immediately started doing my research and here I am. 4 months strong..lost the 7lbs I gained during CW and also lost 8lbs more. I love this. My body loves this. I feel fucking amazing.
    Last edited by SheGlowsPale; 07-19-2010, 12:32 AM.
    The pain of discipline or the pain of regret? You choose.

    Oh look - I made a Journal.

  • #2
    Wow, that was really long introduction..no one is probably even going to read it.

    Thought I'd posts my stats:

    Start - 5'6" 167lbs
    As of July 6th - 152lbs
    Goal - I'm not sure...I want to say around 140lbs..but it really depends more on proportion and muscle and how I feel more then actual scale weight.

    I like the way Cillakat does her journal so I'm stealing it

    Today:

    1. Eat lots of animals, insects and plants.
    No breakfast
    Lunch - ground beef, eggs, and tomato. (one of the easiest, quickest, cheapest, filling meals I make..thats why it's all I really ate today)
    No dinner
    Snack - handful of almonds..and like 3 cups of coffee with a small amount of heavy cream. (I haven't had any splenda in a month, I'm pretty proud of that!)

    2. Move around a lot at a slow pace.
    6+ hours of fast paced retail.

    3. Lift heavy things.
    Today was sprints day..I was going to do some upper body lifting but it fits better into my schedule tomorrow.

    4. Run really fast every once in a while.
    Check! 10 minutes of Tabata sprints. DONE.

    5. Get lots of sleep.
    about 9 hours. I really like sleep.

    6. Play.
    I played tug of war with the doggie today...I think I definitely got more of a workout then he did. His energy is endless.

    7. Get some sunlight every day.
    A little on my lunch break but its so humid here Im not feelin it at all right now.

    8. Avoid trauma.
    Definitely!

    9. Avoid poisonous things.
    I quit smoking exactly a week ago so finally after 12 years I can say YES to this.

    10. Use your mind.
    I try.
    Last edited by SheGlowsPale; 07-19-2010, 12:39 AM.
    The pain of discipline or the pain of regret? You choose.

    Oh look - I made a Journal.

    Comment


    • #3
      You go girl, good on you. I am interested in following your journey
      so keep posting.

      Comment


      • #4
        Excellent! Been waiting for your journal to "come out" Glad to see you so happy with PB and that it works for you. Reading your introduction (yes, I read it all. ) it must be such a relief to finally feel at "home".

        Keep on grokkin'!
        Sometimes you need to be told the truth in order to be able to see it.

        My journal

        I see grain people...

        Exist in shadow, drifting away.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks couchie and Sungrazer! Ahhh...love that you called it "home", definitely feels that way finally!
          The pain of discipline or the pain of regret? You choose.

          Oh look - I made a Journal.

          Comment


          • #6
            Glad to see you're finally posting one of these. Don't forget to kick your shoes off....
            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
            My Latest Journal

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by SheGlowsPale View Post
              Wow, that was really long introduction..no one is probably even going to read it.
              Incorrect.

              Congrats on ditching the smokes, thats a hard one.
              sigpic

              Comment


              • #8
                naiad - Shoes? I never wear those things. :P

                MeatMe - Yea, I've told everyone I know I quit to help keep me completely accountable. I think I will be ok but being a 1/2 pack to a pack a day smoker for 12 years its definitely a drastic change for me. I want it out of my life, I want it out of my system..I truly hope I can stick to it.
                The pain of discipline or the pain of regret? You choose.

                Oh look - I made a Journal.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by SheGlowsPale View Post
                  ..I truly hope I can stick to it.
                  Keep sprinting, Im sure your lungs will thank you
                  sigpic

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    bravo on the no smoking! congrats on the progress also. your pics are amazing! hard to believe those were you. stay active if you want to give up ciggs for good. i replaced the gym with smokes almost 2 yrs. ago, never looked back. good luck sweetie;-)
                    Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you! ~Tommy Smothers

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Congratulations for giving up smoking!!! I didn't know. That is awesome. The absolute best thing you can do for your health, even above giving up grains. And major respect for giving up splenda. I really have to work on that. I've reduced so much AS in my life but it's not all out.

                      I can't wait to see the progress photos. I'm counting on them for inspiration! And I can't wait until you back to the old forums and tell them how great you've done without oatmeal. The problem with people who follow conventional wisdom is that they won't believe that this is healthy until they die before you. And then it's too late. Plus, if you die by being hit by a car, they'll still say it's because you cut out grains.

                      I'm so with you on the quinoa. I spent three weeks in Peru (love, love, love) and everyone constantly talks to you about how amazing quinoa is (three favorite topics of conversation are have you tried our quinoa/potatoes/coca leaves?) and I'm sorry, it just isn't. I got rid of all of mine when I started PB, because if I ever fall off the no-grain wagon, I'm only going to eat grains that actually taste good. I hope I won't fall off this wagon though.

                      Did my first tabata workout today. What a killer. Squats with overhead press and shovelglove were fine, but I only made it through two minutes of girly pushups! I almost did full pushups...don't think I would have made it through a minute.
                      Il faut vivre et non pas seulement exister.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by shannon View Post
                        bravo on the no smoking! congrats on the progress also. your pics are amazing! hard to believe those were you. stay active if you want to give up ciggs for good. i replaced the gym with smokes almost 2 yrs. ago, never looked back. good luck sweetie;-)
                        Thanks! Its crazy..sometimes Ill bump into someone I was really good friends with like 5-6 years ago and they won't recognize me at all and I'll think to myself "am I that forgettable??" until finally they are like "OH MY GOD"..its a really good feeling. I think it has something to do with having such a heavy face when I was big...some heavier people with thin/normal faces that lose weight while yes they look overall better its not quite a shocking difference then the ones with heavier faces...changes their entire facial features etc. I absolutely love having facial features haha.

                        Yes, I've definitely replaced my smoking with trying to be active..I actually havent had terrible mood swings at all...just every few hours I'll start to feel the anxiety monster creeping up. I won't go into a full blown anxiety attack but it will feel like the beginning of one...so I just try and get up and walk around or dance around (lol, im a dork.)...it truly helps!
                        The pain of discipline or the pain of regret? You choose.

                        Oh look - I made a Journal.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by superdeluxe View Post
                          Congratulations for giving up smoking!!! I didn't know. That is awesome. The absolute best thing you can do for your health, even above giving up grains. And major respect for giving up splenda. I really have to work on that. I've reduced so much AS in my life but it's not all out.

                          I can't wait to see the progress photos. I'm counting on them for inspiration! And I can't wait until you back to the old forums and tell them how great you've done without oatmeal. The problem with people who follow conventional wisdom is that they won't believe that this is healthy until they die before you. And then it's too late. Plus, if you die by being hit by a car, they'll still say it's because you cut out grains.

                          I'm so with you on the quinoa. I spent three weeks in Peru (love, love, love) and everyone constantly talks to you about how amazing quinoa is (three favorite topics of conversation are have you tried our quinoa/potatoes/coca leaves?) and I'm sorry, it just isn't. I got rid of all of mine when I started PB, because if I ever fall off the no-grain wagon, I'm only going to eat grains that actually taste good. I hope I won't fall off this wagon though.

                          Did my first tabata workout today. What a killer. Squats with overhead press and shovelglove were fine, but I only made it through two minutes of girly pushups! I almost did full pushups...don't think I would have made it through a minute.
                          It's been a little easier then I thought...maybe it hasn't completely sunken in yet that Ive actually quit haha. Other then slight anxiety creep ups I've been pretty ok. Seriously I havent gone more then 24 without a cigarette in 12 years. (i'm not even sure if Ive ever gone that long even really)..I was a SMOKER. But in the last year things started to change mentally for me..I was starting to be come slightly embarressed by it if I was around non-smokers I'd hide the fact that I smoked etc etc which I never did before...it just made me realize it wasn't the same anymore, I didn't want to do it anymore.

                          I never thought of myself as a cold turkey type of person, but ya know it seems to be the only thing that works for me. grains, smoking, splenda lol...if I just lower the intake i always end up eating/smoking too much of them again...I've realized if I suck it up and completely stop thats the easiest way for me to really quit anything. I have been putting like half a teaspoon of raw honey in my coffee but I want to quit that too..the amount of sugar in honey is ridiculous even if it is only a half a teaspoon and its raw/natural..still annoys me haha.

                          I will definitely take progress pics soon...I just absolutely hate full body photos..Sometimes I'm so confident but I do have insane amount of body issues I'm still learning to deal with. Yea, I'm pretty sure even if I showed the other forums my results they would still be like "thats unhealthy, you are going to gain in all back blah blah blah" I don't care...sometimes just for spite (and I'm actually not a spiteful person at all haha) I like go into the forums now just to read what their daily food has been...like 1/4 c of oatmeal, 1 piece of turkey and a cracker. lol. it makes me giggle. And MY diet is unrealistic? Just stop it.

                          And about cheating - EXACTLY! I had some whole wheat pasta in my closet that I decided to hang on to just in case I needed some grains one day..but then I thought about it and was like...seriously if I'm gonna cheat I'm going to my favorite italian restuarant and having a REAL pasta. Why would I cheat with this crap? I finally got rid of it.

                          Tabata sprints, shovelglove, squats/presses, and pushups?? Good for you! Two minutes? I'm not even sure I can do that - I've never counted minutes though..with no break? Maybe i'll time myself next time..I can basically do 20 push-ups on my feet before I collapse to my knees lol...upper body has ALWAYS been my weakness but I am finally getting a little stronger there too. I swear I'm throwing a huge party which you are all invited to when I can finally do a full pull-up by myself.
                          Last edited by SheGlowsPale; 07-20-2010, 04:56 PM.
                          The pain of discipline or the pain of regret? You choose.

                          Oh look - I made a Journal.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Wow you are doing really terrific! Extra kudos for the smoking. I quit smoking many years ago and know how hard it can be. Congratulations.

                            We are the same height and our start weights are just about the same. You give me inspiration. I have been bouncing between 155 - 165 for years now and I want to break the cycle. I look forward to seeing your photo's, it will give me something to aim for . I am going to post some myself as soon as I get new software and if I am brave enough.

                            How are you training for that pullups? I want to have a party too

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              P.S. - I like to journal format too. Mind if I borrow it?

                              Comment

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