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*~ CriQue's Primal Cove ~*

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  • *~ CriQue's Primal Cove ~*

    Hi, I'm CriQue (sounds like kriki).

    I'm a 30 year old single mom who just learned about the Primal Blueprint.
    I lived primally out of common sense in my early twenties.
    (i.e. everything that went in my mouth was in a form that was as close as it could possibly have come from nature... no unpronounceable ingredients needed, thank you very much.)

    I got married before I was ready, then divorced.
    I dated and sorta forgot the lifestyle that got me in good shape in the first place.
    Then I started eating things to make other people happy and became very unhappy myself.
    I met a guy, we planned a family, got pregnant, then engaged... a little backward I know.
    Then half-way through the pregnancy he changed his mind.
    I became a victim of domestic violence at twenty weeks pregnant.
    I dealt with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for the last half of my pregnancy and have been working with a counselor to heal for quite some time.
    Eating became a comfort for me, a hiding place... actually I turned my body into a hiding place, because fat doesn't feel. Now I have this amazingly cushy gelatinous pillow all around my body.
    I'm tired of it. I desperately want to get back to a lifestyle that doesn't cause additional pain through inflammation, fat storing, and the potential for health diseases that I'm susceptible to right now.

    Getting totally honest with the Primal Community...
    As of today, June 27th, 2010: I'm 5'5" 240.5 lbs with 40% body fat.

    This HAS to end here.

    I'm so glad that I found a community of people who share the same beliefs about eating and healing through healthy foods that I once held before I lost myself.

    I love proteins, I love vegetables, I love cheese, I love nuts, and I kinda like fruit too.
    I don't have to have all of the other stuff and never liked the way it made me feel.


    I looked through my pantry and refrigerator today and was amazed at all of the high carb foods and drinks I have available. Orange Juice, Hot Cocoa, Oatmeal (flavored and unflavored), Potatoes, Lentils, Rice, Fruit bars, Powdered Potatoes, Flavored Yogurt, Flavored Applesauce, Popcorn, Canned Fruits in light syrup, Pastas, Frozen Ravioli.... Where are the vegetables? I was a little relieved that at least I had chicken breasts in the freezer and some tuna steaks.

    Yesterday, I ate Oreos, Lime flavored Tostitos, Pizza with Riccotta & Ham, Diet Coke... I ate so terribly. By mid-day my back, neck and head were aching unbearably. I started looking into Atkins and was trying to put together a meal plan, but I was worried about how restrictive the carb levels are.

    My daughter is about 14 months old and I nurse her at nap and bed times mostly, sometimes more if she needs the pain relief properties during teething or when she has to get shots. I didn't want to go into straight out ketosis, but had no idea what levels were maybe close to ketosis but safer to help burn fat while nursing.

    I found this website and the carb curve... I literally spent hours on this site researching the articles. I even sat and read a pretty lengthy article to my mother because I was so excited by the way Mark Sisson writes and I had to show her the very impressive 55 year old's physique. Mom's two years younger than Mark and was floored. I want to be that healthy when I'm his age. Back to the writing, the information he provides is so comprehensible. Through what I read, I learned that I'm basically killing myself with carbs. I am causing inflammation in my joints, making myself exhausted, keeping myself from having energy to get active. I'm keeping my body in a very risky position.

    I know how I got here. Now I know how to get out of this place.
    I don't need to be knowingly or unknowingly self-destructive anymore.
    Now I can tear down the unfeeling layers of fat and rebuild myself from the ground up.
    I plan to stick in the 50-100 gram carb range and reach my goals, to be between 120-130lbs healthy.

    I can't wait to be a better example for my daughter, my mother, my friends...
    I can't wait to help myself and become an example to others.

    *sighs* What a great place to be in.

    Wish me luck and please please share your success stories with me if you can.
    Your success is a big motivator in mine!

    Thanks for taking the time to read about my adventure in this lifestyle.

    CriQue
    CriQue ~ Groking it like it's hot since June 26, 2010
    May 2009 Baby // May 2010 241lbs, // Aug 2011 178lbs // Mar 2012 156lbs //
    Apr 2014 Baby2 // Jan 2015 240 lbs 40% BF // Mar 2016 156 lbs 26%BF
    Goal 18-20% BF

    Keto / Jogging / Freeletics / IF / Arctic Zero / Lindt 85% / Hotwings / Quest Smores

  • #2
    Welcome

    You've been through a lot it seems..and I'm glad you found this place Hopefully it will help!

    A success story? I'm still in the making but I just wanted to tell you you can do it..I started low-graining at over 220lbs as well (started off more south beach then PB but whatever)..and I'm now under 155lbs. Just look at it as a journey, the destination will come. Also, check out the before and afters in the success story area..there are some amazing transformations to motivate you as well

    GOOD LUCK!
    The pain of discipline or the pain of regret? You choose.

    Oh look - I made a Journal.

    Comment


    • #3
      SheGlowsPale... Thank you so much for that info. Your success is really encouraging. I'm so excited to say that while I'm only 4 days in, and my body is feeling a transition for sure, I've already lost 5 pounds!! I was 240.5 now 235.5. That's a huge victory. My weight had been only increasing or plateauing since January of this year. *sighs of relief*

      I cleaned out my cabinets this past week and went shopping. I bought a lot of great things, then when I got home I realized how sucked into the modern way of eating. I didn't know what to do. I had to look online for info on how long certain foods would last and for ideas about how to prepare things. Last night after Sophie went to bed I made an amazing Chinese like dish including 6oz steak strips, 1/2 an onion, 1 small head organic broccoli, 1 med green peppers, and had them all placed over a bed of cauliflower. I used vegetable oil to saute, then added some water, 2 tbsp heavy cream, and olive juice to flavor. It was amazing... Oh, I added a packet of ground flax seeds for the omega's. When I looked up the sum of all of the ingredients the carbs were 17grams and protein was 64 grams.

      It's exciting to know I can eat exciting dishes and lose the weight... I still have to handle the transition though. My mind still isn't in a place where it can improvise easily. Soon! Can't wait.
      CriQue ~ Groking it like it's hot since June 26, 2010
      May 2009 Baby // May 2010 241lbs, // Aug 2011 178lbs // Mar 2012 156lbs //
      Apr 2014 Baby2 // Jan 2015 240 lbs 40% BF // Mar 2016 156 lbs 26%BF
      Goal 18-20% BF

      Keto / Jogging / Freeletics / IF / Arctic Zero / Lindt 85% / Hotwings / Quest Smores

      Comment


      • #4
        "how I was sucked into the modern way of eating" oops
        CriQue ~ Groking it like it's hot since June 26, 2010
        May 2009 Baby // May 2010 241lbs, // Aug 2011 178lbs // Mar 2012 156lbs //
        Apr 2014 Baby2 // Jan 2015 240 lbs 40% BF // Mar 2016 156 lbs 26%BF
        Goal 18-20% BF

        Keto / Jogging / Freeletics / IF / Arctic Zero / Lindt 85% / Hotwings / Quest Smores

        Comment


        • #5
          Fantastic opening entry! Such motivation and postitive energy you have, you will succeed!

          Comment


          • #6
            Thanks AM... The first week had its ups and downs. I'm happy I'm not expected to handle this perfectly 100% of the time. I even cooked for myself and packed food to take with me to my family's camping weekend a few hours away from home. Then when I got home I sabotaged myself a bit and had fudge. I have no idea why I did it, but the way that sweet gooey stuff made me feel physically after a week of eating au naturale was pretty disappointing. Glad I was successful for 9 out of 10 days... back to the yummy real stuff and I don't mean Snapple.
            CriQue ~ Groking it like it's hot since June 26, 2010
            May 2009 Baby // May 2010 241lbs, // Aug 2011 178lbs // Mar 2012 156lbs //
            Apr 2014 Baby2 // Jan 2015 240 lbs 40% BF // Mar 2016 156 lbs 26%BF
            Goal 18-20% BF

            Keto / Jogging / Freeletics / IF / Arctic Zero / Lindt 85% / Hotwings / Quest Smores

            Comment


            • #7
              So I'm excited to say I've been doing very well at consistently incorporating healthy alternatives to my diet and Sophie's. I MADE MY FIRST MEATZA Tonight!! So excited. I need to try different toppings because tonight I used green peppers, onions, and mushrooms with fresh mozzarella. When I tasted it all together it was fantastic, but tasted like meatloaf. Lol. Not bad, but maybe a different sauce for my tastes. Feeling so much better, health-wise especially after fish. Yum!
              CriQue ~ Groking it like it's hot since June 26, 2010
              May 2009 Baby // May 2010 241lbs, // Aug 2011 178lbs // Mar 2012 156lbs //
              Apr 2014 Baby2 // Jan 2015 240 lbs 40% BF // Mar 2016 156 lbs 26%BF
              Goal 18-20% BF

              Keto / Jogging / Freeletics / IF / Arctic Zero / Lindt 85% / Hotwings / Quest Smores

              Comment


              • #8
                A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and CriQue I would say that you have just taken several steps in the right direction!

                The journey is a lot easier than it may seem actually (as demonstrated by the delicious meatza you just made!). Before you know it, all the old foods of the CW past will not only be unappealing, but downright dirty I may just have to make one tomorrow!

                Report back on how you feel, I know we will all be looking forward to reading about your adventures.
                --
                Here it is, your moment of zen.

                It's a no brainer: The journal of the cerebelum

                Comment


                • #9
                  Welcome to the forum, CriQue, and congratulations on taking these healthy steps. What a good example you're setting for Sophie, too!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    YAY! Happy to say I'm still with it. I'm really amazed at how uncomplicated this lifestyle really is on a daily basis. I do live with family and am faced with challenges, I won't deny that. I do allow myself to have a slice of pizza every two weeks and I enjoy a square or three of dark chocolate whenever the mood strikes me. I'm having trouble letting go fully of diet sodas. I know it will come eventually. I feel very happy with the changes I've made so far and am excited to say since joining and starting my saga of this PB lifestyle on June 26th, I've lost 15 lbs. (225.5 today).

                    Since starting this journey the foods I eat on a daily basis have become way more fun. I have shrimp, turkey, ground turkey, and ground bison in my freezer. I have non-nitrate bacon, prosciutto, and oodles of different nut varieties in my fridge. I have plenty of dairy as accents and am surprised how much I enjoy baby spinach leaves with shredded cheddar and roasted almond oil(what an amazing flavor).

                    I finished the Primal Blueprint over a long weekend and feel like reading it again because I have the cliff's notes (or CriQ's notes if you'll let me) in my head, but really want to be able to share the rationales with others if asked. *sighs* I do still live with a toddler, so I may need to wait until my next free weekend, but I'm just happy to have my life enriched in the ways it has been. I'm pretty sure Sophie would agree. She seems to really enjoy the dried apricots, organic beef hotdogs, meatza varieties(made three different varieties to date), and especially pistachios. I love listening to her try to say apricot, pistachio, or prune when she wants more. Wish I could record the sound for you to hear. Maybe a youtube video upload is in order, we'll see if I can find the time.

                    Thanks for following and sharing this journey with me.

                    CriQue
                    CriQue ~ Groking it like it's hot since June 26, 2010
                    May 2009 Baby // May 2010 241lbs, // Aug 2011 178lbs // Mar 2012 156lbs //
                    Apr 2014 Baby2 // Jan 2015 240 lbs 40% BF // Mar 2016 156 lbs 26%BF
                    Goal 18-20% BF

                    Keto / Jogging / Freeletics / IF / Arctic Zero / Lindt 85% / Hotwings / Quest Smores

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Things have been going so very well for the last 6 months. I have had one or two hangups... a couple of cookies and brownies for Christmas, but that's about it. I still have my dark dark chocolate fixes from time to time... but I generally avoid any grains, sugar, legumes, and starchy tubers. I don't drink soda anymore and it's even rare for me to have fruit juices (maybe a sip of my Sophie's juice).

                      I'm really excited about how much better my life feels as what I like to call a carni-vega-vore... Mostly meat, with veggies and oils mixed in.
                      I don't even use canola or corn oils. I have days out when I need to do the bunless burger option... I know the oils are crappy in those, but at home it's the trifecta of awesomeness: Almond, EVOO, and Coconut oils. I think I'm going to have to start cutting dairy more often. I have coffee and enjoy it half-cow... but I notice that my weight loss halts when I do this frequently.

                      I shared the progress with my doctor's nurse practitioner. She understands the sugar sensitivity but seems confused about my aversion to grains. They upset my gut. Why bother trying to spend another year with consumption tendencies that work for everyone else if they don't work for me. I'm validating my own nutritional signals and this is good for me.

                      Thanks Mark and to the awesome forum of people. I stop in to check out articles from time to time. If it wasn't for this website I wouldn't be on the road to recovery from dietary imposed anxiety issues and hormonal imbalance.
                      CriQue ~ Groking it like it's hot since June 26, 2010
                      May 2009 Baby // May 2010 241lbs, // Aug 2011 178lbs // Mar 2012 156lbs //
                      Apr 2014 Baby2 // Jan 2015 240 lbs 40% BF // Mar 2016 156 lbs 26%BF
                      Goal 18-20% BF

                      Keto / Jogging / Freeletics / IF / Arctic Zero / Lindt 85% / Hotwings / Quest Smores

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Before (April 10th, 2010) http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NKMS3XNBYXXI.../photos/313342
                        Current (December 19th, 2010) http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NKMS3XNBYXXI.../photos/313355
                        Last edited by CriQue312; 12-27-2010, 02:24 AM. Reason: images wouldn't show up
                        CriQue ~ Groking it like it's hot since June 26, 2010
                        May 2009 Baby // May 2010 241lbs, // Aug 2011 178lbs // Mar 2012 156lbs //
                        Apr 2014 Baby2 // Jan 2015 240 lbs 40% BF // Mar 2016 156 lbs 26%BF
                        Goal 18-20% BF

                        Keto / Jogging / Freeletics / IF / Arctic Zero / Lindt 85% / Hotwings / Quest Smores

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Looking back at my signature I feel stumped.
                          August 12, 2011 I was down in my weight... but my weight has been yo-yoing since then and this morning it's still about the same thing. That's almost a year at around the upper 170's. It's not a maintenance thing, since New Years I was down to 158. I've gone up since I moved, married, lost a job and have become otherwise undeniably sedentary. I'm also a bit depressed because while my husband (10 years my senior) knows I desperately want another baby... serious baby fever... he's not ready. He wants to wait until next Spring. So my current daughter will be 4 before we even "start" trying. I'm depressed about that. I wish I could change it. I am going to end up being a stay-at-home mom for the rest of my life at this rate. I started working in child care May 2011, but since moving to live in my husband's area Dec 2011 I can not find consistent child care work. I feel pretty crappy. I love being with the children, want more, feel useless since I can't contribute in income right now and can't have more or get excited about having more without feeling like I'm putting the hubby on the spot... which I did last weekend. I got tipsy off of too much wine at a family gathering and thankfully only my mother, father and husband were present when this happened, went off about how my husband didn't want to talk about what I wanted. I kept loudly saying "EFFFing Baby" like it was almost an unspeakable curse in our home to bring up and I was spiting him in this instance because I knew at least I would have understanding in my family's eyes. It wasn't right. He kind of laughed it off... but I know it's not nice for either of us.

                          He's set in his mind that he doesn't want a baby right now, and I clearly stated that I wanted more children when we were dating. Sure, what's a year... but he's 42 already! I'm 32. I want "MORE" children... not one more. I feel selfish, but I have to admit that it's something I can't let go of. I don't know if it's more of an issue because I feel out of control of my weight, unmotivated to finish my distance studies, unmotivated to routinely exercise, unmotivated to do much of anything.

                          This is a bit of a hormonal week for me... I was upset because my daughter (3years old) was gone for two weeks. She came back Sunday for two weeks, but the very next morning my husband had to leave for the holiday week to work out of state. Next week there is a support hearing and I'm nervous about how that's going to work out. My daughter's father pays support later and later each month, leaving me with no idea when I'll be able to remedy certain routine costs. It would help if I had a job, but it would also mean less time with my daughter... and the additional expense of childcare... which seems silly since that's my major.

                          *Sighs*...

                          So I'm stuck at the same weight. I have eaten primally very religiously for 2 years, with only the occasional holiday/birthday minor indescretion until this week. I baked a box of brownies and ate almost the entire thing over two days. Why would I sabotage myself like this? I miss my husband and feel lonely. I feel disappointed that I can't plan family. I'm stressed about money. I'm nervous about the PTSD reaction I feel when I have to manage court or face-to-face dealings with my daughter's father... pending next week. My life isn't as fun as I would like it to be this warm festive time of year. I have a nice back yard and deck... no reason I shouldn't be outside more.

                          I also attempted P90X last week... it worked for 3 days, then I felt so overworked and then was bored by the monotony of the yogax that I gave up, not without reservation, but my hips hurt so bad. The joints just ached in a bad way, felt overtrained. I also tried a scoop of that shakeology stuff on each of the first two days. I'll bet the grains in that may have screwed with me a little. Maybe?

                          I have a pool membership 10 miles away. I took my daughter twice this week, but today is just a hormonal couch day.

                          My husband is coming back into town tomorrow and his two kids will be staying the week next week (first time in our relationship for this duration). Same week as the support hearing. I'm just nervous about a lot of things. I need to be doing laundry and handling dishes and vacuuming. I just feel like crap.

                          I'm sure the cortisol gets in the way of effective fat loss.
                          I'm sure the switch from Depo Provera to Nuva Ring which I made 2-3 weeks ago is going to be a hurdle.

                          That has me nervous too. Everytime my legs twitch for any minor reason, I worry that the Nuva Ring is going to give me some thrombo embolism.

                          I swear I'm taking my anxiety medication. I just feel like there's a lot building right now.
                          I also started reading "Anger" by Thich Nhat Hanh this week, which is calming.

                          I was going to write on a piece of paper, but I do that and well... really I don't have advice for myself.
                          Perhaps, I said to myself, if I post online, maybe someone else will have some relevant thoughts to share.

                          Any?

                          I need to get out of the rutt...

                          I worry that by the time I get used to having my daughter back, she'll be gone again for another bi-weekly summer vacation stint with her dad, or my husband will have to go away for work again... and I'll be left without my sense of security and consistency.

                          It's an opportunity for change, I just can't yet see how.
                          CriQue ~ Groking it like it's hot since June 26, 2010
                          May 2009 Baby // May 2010 241lbs, // Aug 2011 178lbs // Mar 2012 156lbs //
                          Apr 2014 Baby2 // Jan 2015 240 lbs 40% BF // Mar 2016 156 lbs 26%BF
                          Goal 18-20% BF

                          Keto / Jogging / Freeletics / IF / Arctic Zero / Lindt 85% / Hotwings / Quest Smores

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