Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Primal Challenge Journal (Meeses)

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Primal Challenge Journal (Meeses)



    I have challenged myself to work "play" into my life, because this is the Primal Blueprint rule I have the most trouble with. I've made headway on primal eating, exercise, sleep, etc., but I CANNOT play to save my life.


  • #2
    1



    Day 1


    I'm on vacation this week, so that's a head start.


    Leave it to me to make "play" a challenge to be tackled with grim determination. Guess I'll have to grit my teeth and bear it, huh?


    Play activities undertaken today (with gritted teeth and grim determination):

    1) Skipping

    2) Hopscotch

    3) Jumping rope

    4) Throwing stones in the river

    5) Kicking a sturdy wooden garbage can (as if it were a heavy bag)


    Day 1 report: none of this felt particularly "fun" or "lighthearted," but it did get me out in the sunlight. My inner monologue ranged from "You're so f#%^ing fat and should be running instead" to "What do you think YOU'RE doing?" to "I should have fasted today" to "Why aren't I BETTER at this????"


    So you see what I'm up against: a brain that thinks I'm lying to it every time I propose a positive thought.


    Still. Favorite activities today were throwing rocks in the river and kicking the trash can.

    Comment


    • #3
      1



      If you can get access to a medicine ball, it's a LOAD of fun to slam that as hard as you can on the ground...a lot.


      I think throwing kettlebells in the backyard might be fun...

      Comment


      • #4
        1



        Well I love all your choices for playing! Might try just shutting the brain down so the negative self talk doesn't make it all drudgery though. Keep at it!

        Comment


        • #5
          1



          Your determined effort to play is awesome. haha. I hardly ever play now that "my" kids are gone (I taught in my house this school year).


          I need to find a jumprope too! And I want a hula-hoop but the kid-sized ones are no good. It has to be really big otherwise it's like some frantic ridiculous convulsion to keep it off the ground.


          Will listening to music make your internal dialogue a little quieter?

          Eating lots but still hungry? Eat more fat. Mid-day sluggishness? Eat more fat. Feeling depressed or irritable? Eat more fat. People think you've developed an eating disorder? Eat more fat... in front of them.

          Comment


          • #6
            1



            Thanks guys! My internal monologue is louder than Nine Inch Nails. It's really annoying!


            I like the medicine ball idea. My favorite play thus far has been kind of destructo-play.

            Comment


            • #7
              1



              Day 2


              Aided by sunny weather, I did the slow walk thing to the park by the river. On the way, I purchased one of those small rubber balls. Once at the park, I tossed the ball and chased it around for a bit, then kicked a trash bin for a while.


              When I got home, I juggled for about 3 minutes. But I learned how to do this (on the beginner's level!) in a college psychology class, so my brain might still interpret is as homework rather than play.


              Notes:


              Maybe I should watch some actual children, to see what they do.


              Maybe I should purchase this book:

              http://www.amazon.com/EXUBERANT-ANIMAL-HEALTH-JOYFUL-MOVEMENT/dp/1425956637/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I13LPRKM9C7DJ6&colid=8 Y766WCGM775


              Shape magazine (I still read it, even if most of their advice is wrong) says you should replace the word "should" in your mind with the word "want." As in, "I WANT to exercise after work." But what do you do with the other level of your mind, the one that says "LIAR!"


              I hate being seen eating or exercising. I hate being on display to be judged or even encouraged. (Doesn't encouragement imply some sort of judgment?) I was an only child, so I was never really socialized to play games. By the time I got to day care it seems like I always capitulated, let other children get what they wanted, and played to lose, because I wanted them to like me. I wanted them to stay my friends. It was a double edged sword, because of course I resented them for always getting their way.


              But at this point, who's to say what my way even is? And which would be the cause, which the effect? Maybe these are just narratives I confabulate for myself to explain observed behavior.

              Comment


              • #8
                1



                I have been keeping up with your Twitter posts and plan to read up on your journal.

                I know most people don't think of it this way, but traditional play is hard for me... so I consider my yoga time as play. It is relaxing, and it gives me the same feeling as play is intended to. It's part of my "me time". I think it should count, then.

                Maybe there's something you enjoy doing that is play time for you, but not what most people consider to be play time.... just a suggestion.

                "The rose petal floats on water. The kingfisher flashes above the pond. Life and beauty swirl in the midst of death."

                -al'Lan Mandragoran
                "The Eye of the World" by Robert Jordan

                Visit my blog: http://www.antihousewife.com/

                Comment


                • #9
                  1



                  "Play" has a different definition for everyone. Hopscotch would not be play for me. I din't like it when my kids were young...don't plan to take it up now.


                  I love to walk and hike in scenic areas. You need to keep working on finding your "play"...it sounds like you enjoyed walking or perhaps biking, paddling, etc.


                  I read an article a couple of days ago...may have been by Mark...about sledge hammer work outs. Get a tire and a sledge hammer and pound away!


                  If you can juggling join a group and see if it could be "play".


                  Keep working at itand I'm sure something will stick. Good luck!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    1



                    Thanks, guys!


                    I've tried yoga, and it wasn't for me. Yes, the trick is finding some kind of play that works for you. It's been 32 years and I am still looking, so I shall keep on keeping on. :-)


                    As a city girl, I never learned how to ride a bike (or drive!). I live in a 2nd floor apartment and have no place to store a tire. But! I DID order a sledgehammer from Amazon. Muahahahaha.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      1



                      Day 3


                      Today was a bit of a wash, play-wise. This was in part due to the intermittent rain, but mostly due to my lack of inspiration. I juggled for a few minutes, but I can't say I really enjoyed it.


                      I called a gym with a climbing wall, but I was transferred to the climbing department's voicemail. I left a message, but they haven't gotten back to me. I'll call again tomorrow.


                      The thing I used to have the most fun doing, the thing that brought me joy and flow, was, tragically, baking and making desserts. I loved getting better and better at making coconut flour cupcakes! By the end, everything I made was nut, fruit, or cream based and completely sugar free. Still, as a hobby, cooking only made me gain weight; a primal dessert is still a dessert.


                      It was the one thing I loved doing, and the one thing that I absolutely have to give up. No, I can't see how there can be moderation, 80/20 sensible indulgence style. It's a hobby. You don't tell an avid knitter to take it easy on the yarnwork, do you?


                      I've been spicing sausages, frying up lamb chops, and home drying jerky. It's fun, but it's not the same. My heart is full of rage and grief, which I know is stupid and ridiculous, but there seems little room for joy.


                      Tomorrow, I will call back the climbing gym. I will receive my new sledgehammer from Amazon and give it a few practice swings. I hope that I will find it in myself to commute the hour and a half to Crossfit, even though I only ever enjoy the deadlifts and the pull-ups and am wondering if I should just give up "training to not suck at life" after all.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        1



                        Day 4:


                        Sledge-Hammer-Time!


                        Did a sledgehammer workout (pretending, yes, that I was a lumberjack). It lasted 15 minutes, and then I was tired - physically, not mentally. I'll do this one again.


                        I signed up for climbing lessons, which start tomorrow. I really, truly, with all my heart, hope that I enjoy them.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          1



                          On positive energy:


                          I hate being a pessimist and the way it feels, but it's rather a strong compulsion! The fact is every time I try to think a positive thought, the one immediately following it is "You know you're lying."


                          Sometimes I wonder if some individuals are just pessimistic by nature, like others people are shy, extroverted, or tall. And maybe some of the stress they feel is the pressure to change, to FIX themselves, to fight their core natures and just be better people.


                          Of course, no one is helpless, and active lifestyle changes are empowering. But to wake up every morning and wrestle with your gut feeling about the state of the universe can be exhausting and stressful in itself. To win out over that negative voice in your head -- it might take an extreme leap of faith...or a VERY strong placebo.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            1



                            Day 5:


                            Took an indoor climbing class. Learned how to tie a figure 8 knot, also that that clippy thing is called a carabiner. Plus the following exchange:


                            "On belay?"

                            "Belay on."

                            "Climbing?"

                            "Climb on, you fancy bastard."


                            Well, maybe not that very last part.


                            Things to remember:

                            When belaying, get the rope as taut as possible when your partner signals they are at the top, then let them know it is time to sit back in the harness. Fold the rope over the top of the carabiner, then flip the lock/lever thing and let them down.


                            This wasn't physically very taxing, but we were taking the easy routes and ignoring the paths for more easily accessible handholds when we got stuck. Also, it's mostly mental, I think. Next time I think I will try bouldering the circumference of the bouldering room at a very low height.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              1



                              Day 5:


                              Took an indoor climbing class. Learned how to tie a figure 8 knot, also that that clippy thing is called a carabiner. Plus the following exchange:


                              "On belay?"

                              "Belay on."

                              "Climbing?"

                              "Climb on, you fancy bastard."


                              Well, maybe not that very last part.


                              Things to remember:

                              When belaying, get the rope as taut as possible when your partner signals they are at the top, then let them know it is time to sit back in the harness. Fold the rope over the top of the carabiner, then flip the lock/lever thing and let them down.


                              This wasn't physically very taxing, but we were taking the easy routes and ignoring the paths for more easily accessible handholds when we got stuck. Though it's mostly mental, I think. Next time I plan to try bouldering the circumference of the bouldering room at a very low height.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X