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  • Help me write my gym rules

    Writing up "Gym Rules" for my condo loft squat zone.

    Here's where I'm at so far. Please add to the list and make suggestions about improvements to my work in progress:
    Originally posted by my gym rules
    1. Everybody squats.

    2. Chalk is provided. Use it liberally. Cleaning it up is appreciated, but completing your reps takes precedence.

    3. Take a knee after your heavy set of deadlifts. You’ll have a shorter distance far to fall if you pass out.

    4. This is not a judgment free zone. You will be judged on your progress, your effort, and the quality of your
    programming.

    5. Treat the barbell kindly. We only have one, and your strength depends on it.

    6. Dropping weights is prohibited, but a little bit of plate thunder is music to our ears.

    7. Conduct yourself in a safe manner. Do not attempt to use this rule to justify limiting the intensity of your efforts.

    8. Spotters will not touch the barbell until it begins to descend. Liftoffs for the bench press are acceptable.

    9. You may grunt, you may shout, and you may even roar like a lion, but you must justify your guttural utterances by pushing yourself to your limits.
    The Champagne of Beards

  • #2
    3. Take a knee after your heavy set of deadlifts. You’ll have a shorter distance far to fall if you pass out.
    Haha, I have been seeing stars lately after deadlifts.

    http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
    Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
      Haha, I have been seeing stars lately after deadlifts.
      Ah. Just noticed the grammatical error. What rules are missing, mags?
      The Champagne of Beards

      Comment


      • #4
        No kipping pullups.

        No flaming shorts.



        Sent via lightsaber

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Mr. Anthony View Post
          No kipping pullups.
          If this doesn't go without saying, what does?

          No flaming shorts.
          One guy literally wears white track pants and a teal turtleneck. I'd prohibit silly outfits, but this provides an endless source of entertainment for the rest of us.

          Sent via lightsaber[/QUOTE]
          The Champagne of Beards

          Comment


          • #6
            No "bro".
            Crohn's, doing SCD

            Comment


            • #7
              water must not be drunk from anything smaller than a 32oz Nalgene bottle

              ripped/dirty clothing is not only acceptable, but preferred

              no shoes allowed (unless they are specifically lifting shoes)

              name calling and teasing is allowed

              Comment


              • #8
                Hmm, are girls allowed?

                Women should wear booty shorts and knee socks; as an alternative, Yoga Pants are acceptable, but if Lululemon is worn, we reserve the right to point out your panties at the bottom of a 1RM squat or as you bend over to pick up a heavy DL.

                Everybody Squats should be Everybody Squats to Parallel or Below.

                http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by not on the rug View Post
                  water must not be drunk from anything smaller than a 32oz Nalgene bottle
                  Good idea, but we usually just run downstairs and get a drink in the kitchen

                  Originally posted by not on the rug View Post
                  ripped/dirty clothing is not only acceptable, but preferred
                  Gotta incorporate this into some kind of general attire rule. Maybe I can incorporate Knifey's "no bro" suggestion by prohibiting do-rags, although it smacks of Planet Fitness's rules.

                  Originally posted by not on the rug View Post
                  no shoes allowed (unless they are specifically lifting shoes)
                  How about "No lifting in squishy-soled sneakers. Dedicated weighlifting shoes are encouraged. Lifting shoeless or in Chuck Taylors is acceptable"?

                  Originally posted by not on the rug View Post
                  name calling and teasing is allowed
                  Need to add this to the "Judgment allowed" rule!
                  The Champagne of Beards

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    No flaming shorts.
                    Unless worn ironically.

                    Men with 6 packs are encouraged to work out shirtless.

                    http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                    Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                      Hmm, are girls allowed?

                      Women should wear booty shorts and knee socks; as an alternative, Yoga Pants are acceptable, but if Lululemon is worn, we reserve the right to point out your panties at the bottom of a 1RM squat or as you bend over to pick up a heavy DL.

                      Everybody Squats should be Everybody Squats to Parallel or Below.
                      Girls are allowed and encouraged, although we don't presently have any. I think we need to keep the booty shorts/yoga pants rule unwritten for the sake of political correctness (co-workers make up most of my lifting partners).

                      How about:
                      Rule # 1: Everybody squats.
                      Rule # 2: If it's not parallel or lower, it's not a squat
                      The Champagne of Beards

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                        Men with 6 packs are encouraged to work out shirtless.
                        That sounds like a rule for your gym. It would be incredibly awkward if I posted that in mine.
                        The Champagne of Beards

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Don't be a "bro"/idiot. No tank tops that show your nipples. Dirty and/or torn clothing is perfectly acceptable.
                          The Champagne of Beards

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Okay, here's the refined and improved list so far after taking all your suggestions under advisement:

                            Originally posted by GYM RULES
                            GYM RULES

                            1. Everybody squats.
                            2. If it’s not at least parallel, it’s not a squat.
                            3. Chalk is provided. Use it liberally. Cleaning it up is appreciated, but completing your reps takes precedence.
                            4. Take a knee after your heavy set of deadlifts. You’ll have a shorter distance to fall if you pass out.
                            5. No lifting in squishy-soled shoes. Dedicated weightlifting shoes are encouraged. Lifting in Chuck Taylors or shoeless is acceptable.
                            6. This is not a judgment-free zone. You will be judged on your progress, your effort, and the quality of your programming. Teasing and name-calling should be expected.
                            7. Treat the barbell kindly. We only have one, and your strength depends on it.
                            8. Dropping weights is prohibited, but plate thunder is music to our ears.
                            9. Conduct yourself in a safe manner.
                            10. Do not attempt to use rule # 9 to justify limiting the intensity of your efforts.
                            11. Spotters will not touch the barbell until it begins to descend. Liftoffs for the bench press are acceptable.
                            12. You may grunt, you may shout, and you may even roar like a lion; but the intensity of your effort must justify your guttural utterances.
                            13. Don’t be a “bro”/idiot. No tank tops that show your nipples. Dirty and/or torn clothing is perfectly acceptable
                            Masterpiece or needs more work?
                            The Champagne of Beards

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              can I lift shirtless, but in workboots and cutoff jean shorts like some dude in flex magazine?

                              if this is your first time at fight club, you must fight

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