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Girlfriend isn't getting results--what could be wrong?

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  • #16
    To look like an incredibly fit crossfit-looking girl takes a lot more dedication than many women have, especially by our 40s.
    It's either a body type you have, or something you can get at expense of your health.

    I'm all for eating right and CrossFit. I do both. but really, the women don't all look like that. I do know one from my old gym, a trainer, who went from fat to ripped. She was ripped for 2 weeks for a photoshoot and starved herself to get there. She went back to her old healthy eating and the belly came right back. So she went from fat to awesome to healthy.

    Don't get me wrong, I'd love to look like a fitness model, I think they look amazing. But what I'd have to go through physically and mentally to get there is not worth it. I think when guys see a fitness model and think- oh, she is muscular, lean, my girlfriend could get that, that they need to look at someone like body builder or really muscular man and consider the effort it would take to get that. That is the equivalent of effort needed for change.

    http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
    Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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    • #17
      Originally posted by marcadav View Post
      How does SHE feel about her diet, exercise, body composition? Did she ask you for help? Does she feel cared for/loved by you for who she is or does she feel like she's not "awesome" or lean enough for you?

      If she wants help have HER reach out here. If you think she isn't good enough as she is then cut her loose and find the "awesome success" you seem to want/need.
      This. I don't think anyone should be giving this guy advice about his girlfriend when we don't know - first hand - 1) whether she wants help/advice or 2) whether this is something SHE wants or something he wants for her.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by marcadav View Post
        How does SHE feel about her diet, exercise, body composition? Did she ask you for help? Does she feel cared for/loved by you for who she is or does she feel like she's not "awesome" or lean enough for you?

        If she wants help have HER reach out here. If you think she isn't good enough as she is then cut her loose and find the "awesome success" you seem to want/need.
        +1. She needs to do it for herself. If she's not interested then that's that but she sure as hell shouldn't be doing it for anyone else.

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        • #19
          1. Maybe she needs more carbs. If she's adapting and not trying to lose a whole lot of weight, and working out a lot, maybe she needs more carbs. Get on a primal/paleo diet that works first, then tweak for better results.
          2. Sometimes people need to heal. My wife and I both lost 35-40 lbs in the same year, but mine were nearly all in the first six months and hers were in the last six. She had other things going on inside that needed to happen before her body could drop the weight.
          3. Pressing sucks for women. My wife lifted consistently for 6 months or so, before we moved. She made it up to 55 lbs a few times. She could do the bar easily, 50 lbs reasonably okay, and never completed her sets and reps at 55lbs.

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          • #20
            Heya, here are my two cents based on my own experiences with fitness and weight loss. It is a long term process, and since you are doing it together, I think it would be great to increase the fun factor and give it a romantic twist.

            I would address 'always tired' before I address the belly fat and the inability to do a push-up. Get a better idea on how she eats, sleeps and how much time she spends walking around outdoors, and watch out for obvious problems like caffeine and sugar.

            Fitness wise, I think she will benefit the most from long leasury walks in pretty romantic parks with you, skating in the winter, playing in the pool and all sorts of outdoors activities that do not put stress on her.

            if she weighs over 140 lbs, a full pull-up is unlikely to happen unless she has supreme upper body muscle build (if she can't press 45 lbs overhead, do the math). Give her an assist and make her do negatives, then weighted negatives.

            If she is completely untrained the Olympic barbells are too heavy for her to gain strength. I started with 30 lbs bar after doing bootcamps for a year buiding up from 5 lbs dumbells. I push-press 70 lbs on a good day and my max was 85 lbs (never repeated since). Get her to train boot camp style for a few month, gradually increasing the weight and improving her form and if the gym allows doing dynamic lifts, like KBs. What looks like 'too light' weights for you will be just right to start stimulating a much weaker upper body in a woman and give her a room to grow. Again, KBs are to girls what barbell is to a man. Best friend.

            Make sure she adds a couple-three cardio sessions a week, and start slow, work your way to HIT. Got to a Zumba class with her or just dance together increasing the intensity.
            My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
            When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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            • #21
              Interesting. I don't like kettlebell swings that much. I'm always afraid that I'm going to hit myself in the head with it (either that I'd drop it when it's overhead or that it would fly out of my hands and hit me in the face). It's the momentum from the swings that concerns me. I'm generally not concerned about dropping a barbell on my head.

              My journal

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              • #22
                I think that while CF style swings go overhead, most people have you only go to shoulder level.

                http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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                • #23
                  That's because you shouldn't swing with the momentum. You dealift it off the ground than jerk it upwards with your lower body contraction, like a snatch in the barbell when you lift the barbell from your knees to your shoulders. Just swinging KB in the air might be fun, but it does not work the butt. Brought to you by my PT. Same in the snatch. The pictures on the net looks like you are just waving it around, but it is actually lift and push overhead similar to the OHP.

                  Lunging and windmills and presses are also an absolute blast with the KB. I am working on adding more moves in my repertoire right now and switching from conventional BB to the combo of power lifts and KBs.
                  My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
                  When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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                  • #24
                    What's wrong with 20% Body Fat for a women?

                    20% BF for a women is great, you are getting too caught up in the magazine crap. Even fitness models don't stay at 12% all the time. Bodybuilding and modeling is training for a "snapshot in time." A person cannot naturally stay at super low BF all the time, unless you are naturally an ectomorph (they typically want to add weight). Most of the ones I see stay at a 15-20% level and then cut up for contests and modeling gigs.

                    Also, people have higher BF than they think, I hear alot of people say they are under 10%, in reality they are probably closer to 15%. Keep age in mind as well, wait till you hit 50, we'll talk...


                    Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                    Women of reproductive age are not supposed to look cut or incredibly fit. It takes more than a healthy diet and exercise to get there. Fitness models and the like work really hard to look like that and they are above all athletes, and generally have been at it for far longer than a few months. So yeah, ice cream and nutella aren't helping, but even if she ditched those, she still is most likely not going to look cut.

                    My suggestion is that if you really like the cut, lean hard girls, that you find one that already looks like that because for most women, achieving that is painfully difficult and requires an extreme level of dedication. Ditching crap foods, dairy and grain, lifting heavy things, the occasional sprint etc. will get you healthy, but for most women, it won't get you to 20% and below body fat.

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                    • #25
                      A person cannot naturally stay at super low BF all the time, unless you are naturally an ectomorph (they typically want to add weight).
                      Exactly. So if you want a really cut, lean girlfriend, that stays that way, find one that already looks like that.

                      http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                      Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                        Exactly. So if you want a really cut, lean girlfriend, that stays that way, find one that already looks like that.
                        Yeah, and she'll probably be a guy so be careful. (You know, if she's capable of staying that way.)

                        Originally posted by RMF5630
                        Keep age in mind as well, wait till you hit 50, we'll talk...
                        Tell me about it.

                        Hey this weekend I got some non-sticky velcro and sewed the ends together so that I can take my micro-weights (2" washers) and just strap them to the fixed barbells. Now I can microload the fixed barbells and not have to wait in line to do presses in the squat rack. Damn these presses, they are so slow to progress...
                        Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                          I think that while CF style swings go overhead, most people have you only go to shoulder level.
                          Oh, I did not know that. I guess that's why they're called "American" kettlebell swings--the kind that go overhead? I always wondered why they're called that.

                          Originally posted by Leida View Post
                          That's because you shouldn't swing with the momentum. You dealift it off the ground than jerk it upwards with your lower body contraction, like a snatch in the barbell when you lift the barbell from your knees to your shoulders. Just swinging KB in the air might be fun, but it does not work the butt. Brought to you by my PT. Same in the snatch. The pictures on the net looks like you are just waving it around, but it is actually lift and push overhead similar to the OHP.
                          Uh, yeah, we've only ever done kettlebell swings twice, and I wouldn't be surprised if I'm doing it wrong.

                          My journal

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                          • #28
                            I was doing them with momentum (and having a blast) for months. Once PT re-set my form, I can't swing as much (went from 55# to 30#), but I feel it far, far more in the hams and the buttocks, just like DL. I never did swings above the head, always to the chest (and two-handed). I do snatches overhead though (one-handed). If my PT was not quite so flighty and hard to get a hold off, he'd be perfect. Oh, well, he'd get older eventually, lol. Anyway, I dunno, KB is my fav, particular since I am not going anywhere with the barbell, heh. I am hoping to establish a 2 day KB and 1 day barbell kindda schedule.
                            My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
                            When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Leida View Post
                              That's because you shouldn't swing with the momentum. You dealift it off the ground than jerk it upwards with your lower body contraction, like a snatch in the barbell when you lift the barbell from your knees to your shoulders. Just swinging KB in the air might be fun, but it does not work the butt. Brought to you by my PT. Same in the snatch. The pictures on the net looks like you are just waving it around, but it is actually lift and push overhead similar to the OHP.

                              Lunging and windmills and presses are also an absolute blast with the KB. I am working on adding more moves in my repertoire right now and switching from conventional BB to the combo of power lifts and KBs.
                              Good lord! As a Kettlebell instructor, fire your PT.

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Leida View Post
                                I was doing them with momentum (and having a blast) for months. Once PT re-set my form, I can't swing as much (went from 55# to 30#), but I feel it far, far more in the hams and the buttocks, just like DL. I never did swings above the head, always to the chest (and two-handed). I do snatches overhead though (one-handed). If my PT was not quite so flighty and hard to get a hold off, he'd be perfect. Oh, well, he'd get older eventually, lol. Anyway, I dunno, KB is my fav, particular since I am not going anywhere with the barbell, heh. I am hoping to establish a 2 day KB and 1 day barbell kindda schedule.
                                Sorry Leida I just re-read your post and it sounds like your PT is teaching you proper movement patterns. I mis-understood the first time I read it.

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