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  • Originally posted by RichMahogany View Post
    If it's got lady parts (and they're original equipment), that's a lady in my book.
    Spoken like a true man.

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    • Originally posted by Stacy15 View Post
      Spoken like a true man.
      Does that count towards my score in the contest?
      The Champagne of Beards

      Comment


      • "Methinks the lads doth protest too much".

        (apologies to Shakespeare)
        be the hair that knots with my hair
        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
        primal since oct. 1, 2012

        Comment


        • I'm happy to judge that contest.
          As much as I'd like to just ask y'all to throw up photos of you shirtless, that isn't accurate in assessing your level of straight. Hmm... my process would probably get me in trouble with my husband and your wives.

          But if you have Zubaz and wear then unironically, you are straight.
          If there is a photo of you with a gun and a cigar, flexing, floating around the internet, and you did that unironically and think it makes you look sexy, you would be right, and very straight.
          If you see a woman squatting and think....mmmm that ass.... you are straight.
          If you see a woman bent over deadlifting and think.....mmmm.... that ass... you are straight.
          If you see a woman squatting and deadlifting and think.... she is gonna regret that when skinny jeans are in style, you are gay.

          I

          http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
          Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

          Comment


          • Originally posted by RichMahogany View Post
            Does that count towards my score in the contest?
            How could it not? Manly points...

            Comment


            • Originally posted by RichMahogany View Post
              I'm in. Pretty sure I can beat you guys in the beard portion. What are you guys doing for talent?
              dude, give me 5 minutes, and my beard will be massive. that shit grows like a weed. I just hate to have it over the summer. next fall, when hunting season rolls around, the beard contest is on! (Note: hunting is manly)

              as for talent...I could knife fight a grizzly bear while cleaning a bathroom and singing a love song to my woman. all at the same time.

              Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
              I'm happy to judge that contest.
              As much as I'd like to just ask y'all to throw up photos of you shirtless, that isn't accurate in assessing your level of straight. Hmm... my process would probably get me in trouble with my husband and your wives.

              But if you have Zubaz and wear then unironically, you are straight.
              If there is a photo of you with a gun and a cigar, flexing, floating around the internet, and you did that unironically and think it makes you look sexy, you would be right, and very straight.
              If you see a woman squatting and think....mmmm that ass.... you are straight.
              If you see a woman bent over deadlifting and think.....mmmm.... that ass... you are straight.
              If you see a woman squatting and deadlifting and think.... she is gonna regret that when skinny jeans are in style, you are gay.

              I
              how about every time I see a woman, I always think "that ass..." does that count?

              I am going to the shore soon. maybe a shirtless pic will surface here sooner or later...

              Comment


              • OK, Criteria:
                Talent:
                You must be able to operate a grill and successfully grill a manly portion of meat, IE something like a roast or a pork butt.
                You need to know how to change my oil. And successfully execute that.
                You need to be able to successfully lift your lady friend and carry her to the bedroom to make sweet love to her. Bonus if you get that she doesn't really like sweet loving. Extra bonus of your lady friend works out and is surprisingly heavy.

                The talent portion should be executed in your most manly outfit. Wifebeaters with oil stains get bonus points.

                Swimwear:
                If you wear a speedo and I'm all... dude, really, gross. You are straight and likely European. If you wear a speedo and I'm all "dayum" you are not straight. But I wish you were. If you wear something that hides your nice ass and quads and a &%I&^% rash guard, you are full on straight. If you ditch the rashguard and have a Farmer's Tan and I'm bummed that I can't see your ass, you are straight.

                Evening Wear:
                If you get excited about evening wear and look good in it, negative straight points. If you look amazeballs in a tux and bitch about being tight around your neck, positive straight points. If in an attempt to not have to wear the evening wear you wander in, pick me up, throw me on the bed and have your way with me, full on straight.

                Interview/Question
                1. Do you like Rush?
                2. I would/would not drive a mini cooper, new VW bug, Monte Carlo

                http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

                Comment


                • Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                  OK, Criteria:
                  Talent:
                  You must be able to operate a grill and successfully grill a manly portion of meat, IE something like a roast or a pork butt.
                  You need to know how to change my oil. And successfully execute that.
                  You need to be able to successfully lift your lady friend and carry her to the bedroom to make sweet love to her. Bonus if you get that she doesn't really like sweet loving. Extra bonus of your lady friend works out and is surprisingly heavy.

                  The talent portion should be executed in your most manly outfit. Wifebeaters with oil stains get bonus points.
                  Lots of points for me so far. Lady friend just started working out. On a set of squat stands that I built with my bare hands out of concrete and 5 gallon buckets and 2x4's.

                  Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                  Swimwear:
                  If you wear a speedo and I'm all... dude, really, gross. You are straight and likely European. If you wear a speedo and I'm all "dayum" you are not straight. But I wish you were. If you wear something that hides your nice ass and quads and a &%I&^% rash guard, you are full on straight. If you ditch the rashguard and have a Farmer's Tan and I'm bummed that I can't see your ass, you are straight.
                  Board shorts and no rash guard. I deduct a point from myself because I can almost still fit into the size 28's from last year and have one pair in size "extra small" that I can still get into.

                  Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                  Evening Wear:
                  If you get excited about evening wear and look good in it, negative straight points. If you look amazeballs in a tux and bitch about being tight around your neck, positive straight points. If in an attempt to not have to wear the evening wear you wander in, pick me up, throw me on the bed and have your way with me, full on straight.
                  Haven't worn a tux since prom, but I complain about my dress shirts being tight around my neck 5 days a week. My neck is a 16. See the comments above re: size 28 board shorts.

                  Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                  Interview/Question
                  1. Do you like Rush?
                  2. I would/would not drive a mini cooper, new VW bug, Monte Carlo
                  1. Who's Rush?
                  2. a. I would like to try to flip a mini cooper. Or at least have handles welded to the frame and Strongman deadlift it for reps.
                  b. Only if the girl who owns it is hot. Because even in a lady's car, the man should drive.
                  c. Only if it's a manual
                  The Champagne of Beards

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                    OK, Criteria:
                    Talent:
                    You must be able to operate a grill and successfully grill a manly portion of meat, IE something like a roast or a pork butt.
                    You need to know how to change my oil. And successfully execute that.
                    You need to be able to successfully lift your lady friend and carry her to the bedroom to make sweet love to her. Bonus if you get that she doesn't really like sweet loving. Extra bonus of your lady friend works out and is surprisingly heavy.

                    The talent portion should be executed in your most manly outfit. Wifebeaters with oil stains get bonus points.

                    Swimwear:
                    If you wear a speedo and I'm all... dude, really, gross. You are straight and likely European. If you wear a speedo and I'm all "dayum" you are not straight. But I wish you were. If you wear something that hides your nice ass and quads and a &%I&^% rash guard, you are full on straight. If you ditch the rashguard and have a Farmer's Tan and I'm bummed that I can't see your ass, you are straight.

                    Evening Wear:
                    If you get excited about evening wear and look good in it, negative straight points. If you look amazeballs in a tux and bitch about being tight around your neck, positive straight points. If in an attempt to not have to wear the evening wear you wander in, pick me up, throw me on the bed and have your way with me, full on straight.

                    Interview/Question
                    1. Do you like Rush?
                    2. I would/would not drive a mini cooper, new VW bug, Monte Carlo
                    I'd be more than happy to help you judge.

                    Bonus question: Do you own a Harley Davidson

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by not on the rug View Post

                      as for talent...I could knife fight a grizzly bear while cleaning a bathroom and singing a love song to my woman. all at the same time.
                      I take back anything I might have said that was not flattering..... you clearly are highly talented. Pictures would be nice.
                      Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by not on the rug View Post
                        dude, give me 5 minutes, and my beard will be massive. that shit grows like a weed. I just hate to have it over the summer. next fall, when hunting season rolls around, the beard contest is on! (Note: hunting is manly)
                        I'll concede that you've got me beat me on hunting and power tools. (my cordless drill is an 18 volt though)

                        I still doubt your beard can be as thick and lush and heinous as mine. I'll believe it when I see it.

                        Originally posted by not on the rug View Post
                        as for talent...I could knife fight a grizzly bear while cleaning a bathroom and singing a love song to my woman. all at the same time.
                        Hyperbole points for sure, Bill Brasky.

                        I fought a bunch of dudes in a cage a couple years ago. And beat all 4 of them (not at the same time). Any points for that?

                        Originally posted by not on the rug View Post
                        how about every time I see a woman, I always think "that ass..." does that count?
                        It certainly counts, but if you don't do this, you couldn't get into the contest anyway.
                        The Champagne of Beards

                        Comment


                        • Oh, I got this.

                          I hit all those criteria up there, but can also play the hell out of a guitar. I cut my teeth on good classic rock, but soon learned that being able to play every song girls like on a guitar goes a long way.

                          Rush = crappy overrated band with one of the best drummers to ever live.

                          I'd like to hit a Mini Cooper while driving an F-650, to see if I could drive the Mini as far as I can a golf ball.

                          I'm just as comfortable in a James-Bond tux/high class event as I am camping in a hammock drunk on whiskey, in a spot where no one else ever bothered to hike to.

                          Hunting and fishing rule.

                          And, this:


                          And this:
                          Last edited by Mr. Anthony; 06-20-2013, 08:47 AM.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                            OK, Criteria:
                            Talent:
                            You must be able to operate a grill and successfully grill a manly portion of meat, IE something like a roast or a pork butt.
                            You need to know how to change my oil. And successfully execute that.
                            You need to be able to successfully lift your lady friend and carry her to the bedroom to make sweet love to her. Bonus if you get that she doesn't really like sweet loving. Extra bonus of your lady friend works out and is surprisingly heavy.

                            I have 2 grilles (1 propane, 1 charcoal) and a smoker which I use regularly to cook all cuts of meat, large and small.
                            last weekend I changed my oil and my wife's. at the same time
                            I frequently lift my lady friend and carry her to various locations for "sweet lovemaking" and whatnot. and while she isn't heavy (125lbs) she is very fit and athletic and a former college athlete.


                            The talent portion should be executed in your most manly outfit. Wifebeaters with oil stains get bonus points.

                            hmm...manliest outfit. probably something camouflage. which I wear when I kill animals.

                            Swimwear:
                            If you wear a speedo and I'm all... dude, really, gross. You are straight and likely European. If you wear a speedo and I'm all "dayum" you are not straight. But I wish you were. If you wear something that hides your nice ass and quads and a &%I&^% rash guard, you are full on straight. If you ditch the rashguard and have a Farmer's Tan and I'm bummed that I can't see your ass, you are straight.

                            board shorts. in fact my board shorts are so cool that the 17 year old long-haired surfer dude who sold them to me exclaimed "whoa, solid pair of board shorts brah" as I handed them over the counter to him to check out.

                            Evening Wear:
                            If you get excited about evening wear and look good in it, negative straight points. If you look amazeballs in a tux and bitch about being tight around your neck, positive straight points. If in an attempt to not have to wear the evening wear you wander in, pick me up, throw me on the bed and have your way with me, full on straight.

                            I actually enjoy getting dressed up every so often. and I rocked a straight up james bond styled tux for my wedding. (lemme see if I can find a pic) I hate buttoned collars and sleeves though. I ALWAYS roll up the sleeves of my dress shirts for work, push up the sleeves of my hoodies, etc

                            Interview/Question
                            1. Do you like Rush?
                            2. I would/would not drive a mini cooper, new VW bug, Monte Carlo

                            rush. ok band. possibly 2nd greatest drummer ever.

                            I would in fact, NEVER drive any of those vehicles. ever. I would drive an actual mini if I had the opportunity to do so, like, in England or something...bonus points for being a car guy, a guitar and /shooter/hunter, bass player, a gun owner, and a phenomenal cook?
                            so...??
                            Last edited by not on the rug; 06-20-2013, 09:00 AM.

                            Comment


                            • My vote is for Mr. Anthony!

                              Magnolia, you got your work cut out for you!
                              Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

                              Comment


                              • You men are SO MANLY and SO STRAIGHT that you don't even need facial hair.

                                http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                                Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

                                Comment

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