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So, why men won't lift weights?

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  • Originally posted by Leida View Post
    But not even curl??! Hey, I understand the need to curl in front of the mirror. I just don't get not even touching weights. Like my husband won't lift (says his shoulder hurts, would rather go on a treadmill, WTF?). Just don't get it. Is it because it is too easy for men to get decent results? So no challenge? Men too proud to start with an empty bar and overload, decide it's too hard and quit?
    I understand you, it must be frustrating for women when men don't make the effort to have manly bodies, at least at a basic level. A man who wants a good-looking woman should see it as his duty to look good himself. Both for catching a woman and when you are living together. The need to be attractive to each other never ends.

    I feel the same way when I see fat women. Why, oh why do women get fat? When being attractive is her biggest card in the dating game. It is important for men too, but women see men's attraction as a combination of many things, looks but also social status, money, career, personality. All the things needed to protect and provide for her and her offspring. But women are attractive to men primarily because of their looks. It comes from our instinct to find healthy women who can bear children. And because men evolved to be quickly aroused by the visual, as these men passed on their genes more than the rest. The woman needed to display signs of youth and health: slim body, small nose and ears and a non-elongated face (as these grow with age, big eyes, lush and long hair (sign of health), youthful voice and laughter, a certain hip-to-waist ratio, smooth skin ... slim body! It's not so hard, for Thor's sake. Just don't eat those potato chips. I don't.

    But I digress.

    Originally posted by Mr. Anthony View Post
    America is becoming a nation of sparkling-vampire, everyone gets a medal, skinny jeans-wearing, emo music-listening, whale-saving, Prius-driving, Axe-wearing sissies. Guys would rather talk about their feelings with the girls they're too chicken to ask out and play video games than get under weights that could crush them or learn to throw a proper punch.
    Good description of what we may call "beta males". That means more women for the alpha males, while the betas are off playing video games.
    Last edited by Erik W; 06-11-2013, 05:18 PM.

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    • Originally posted by Zanna View Post
      My husband won't lift weights. As he is losing weight, he is just looking soft. Not appealing but I think he is nervous to be a beginner at the gym.
      I understand that, there are a lot of guys at the gym whose sole kicks in life come from showing off in gym shorts and tight t-shirts. They clang the equipment together, grunt loudly and shout to be seen. They love to show off when there are men around who have less muscles, the way all men have in the beginning.

      A solution to that is to buy dumbbells or a barbell and work out at home. It is cheaper than the gym and it gives great results. Instructions can be found at bodybuilding.com and in YouTube videos. It works perfectly fine! And you don't have to spend time traveling to the gym and back.

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      • Some of us women never were attractive to begin with. I'm still surprised to this day anybody thinks I'm pretty.
        Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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        • Originally posted by Erik W View Post
          A solution to that is to buy dumbbells or a barbell and work out at home. It is cheaper than the gym and it gives great results. Instructions can be found at bodybuilding.com and in YouTube videos. It works perfectly fine! And you don't have to spend time traveling to the gym and back.
          We have all the equipment we need at home, but my boyfriend won't lift or do any other exercise regularly. I've come to the conclusion that it's because he'd be competing against me. I've been seriously lifting and doing various other exercises since last November, and he's been slacking off and making excuses. Now when he tries to do something that I have been working on regularly either he embarrassingly can't, because what I'm doing involves skill that's a lot harder than it looks rather than merely a feat of strength, or he hurts himself.

          Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
          Some of us women never were attractive to begin with. I'm still surprised to this day anybody thinks I'm pretty.
          Please. I wish I could go back to 40 years ago when I was younger and thought I was ugly and fat. I was so wrong, and I held myself back so many years just by my own attitude about my body. I could have enjoyed myself so much more all this time. People do not see me that way. It's partly seeing yourself through their eyes, and partly what you project.



          You were never unattractive. You are beautiful. Let go of those feelings. Release them and enjoy yourself.

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          • Originally posted by Mr. Anthony View Post
            America is becoming a nation of sparkling-vampire, everyone gets a medal, skinny jeans-wearing, emo music-listening, whale-saving, Prius-driving, Axe-wearing sissies. Guys would rather talk about their feelings with the girls they're too chicken to ask out and play video games than get under weights that could crush them or learn to throw a proper punch.
            This is the greatest quote in MDA history.
            Don't put your trust in anyone on this forum, including me. You are the key to your own success.

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            • Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
              Some of us women never were attractive to begin with. I'm still surprised to this day anybody thinks I'm pretty.
              This is possibly the most depressing quote in MDA history.

              "Attraction" is subjective. There is what the media tells you is attractive, and then there is real attraction. Real attraction varies wildly from person to person and cannot be defined. You can't define a feeling with words - feelings are intangible. Why do women today almost unanimously hate themselves? Or was it always this way? I don't understand it. A person's body is the greatest gift they'll ever receive. Wouldn't you want to cherish and take care of your greatest possession? Wouldn't you love your greatest possession? The funny thing is, the women put up on a pedestal by the media are often the most sensitive and insecure of them all.

              "Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?"
              "We accept the love we think we deserve."
              Last edited by ChocoTaco369; 06-11-2013, 08:36 PM.
              Don't put your trust in anyone on this forum, including me. You are the key to your own success.

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              • Originally posted by ChocoTaco369 View Post
                This is possibly the most depressing quote in MDA history.

                "Attraction" is subjective. There is what the media tells you is attractive, and then there is real attraction. Real attraction varies wildly from person to person and cannot be defined. You can't define a feeling with words - feelings are intangible. Why do women today almost unanimously hate themselves? Or was it always this way? I don't understand it. A person's body is the greatest gift they'll ever receive. Wouldn't you want to cherish and take care of your greatest possession? Wouldn't you love your greatest possession? The funny thing is, the women put up on a pedestal by the media are often the most sensitive and insecure of them all.
                Amazing response. We should wear this on t-shirts.
                <3
                "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                - Ray Peat

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                • Originally posted by aliphian View Post
                  What I've learned from this thread:

                  1. Men who do not lift are pussies.
                  And some who do are too hehe!

                  You guys don't know anything about pussies until you see a gym in Seoul.

                  Wow, a guy deadlifting 2kg dumbbells, a guy doing a weird flopping fish push-up (no way to describe, thought maybe it was a seizure), people walking backwards on the treadmill yapping on their hand-a-pone.

                  It's a really weird workout culture.

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                  • Originally posted by ChocoTaco369 View Post
                    This is possibly the most depressing quote in MDA history.

                    "Attraction" is subjective. There is what the media tells you is attractive, and then there is real attraction. Real attraction varies wildly from person to person and cannot be defined. You can't define a feeling with words - feelings are intangible.
                    This is what is called a feel-good idea, so naturally some people like it. It tells them they don't have to change anything, they are just fine the way they are, and others are mean and controlled by the media because they don't understand that. (So the sponsors will sell more diet cures or what? Then why doesn't McDonald's sponsor the idea that obesity is gorgeous, if we would be so completely malleable by the media, not by nature?) Always gets a certain audience in help-each-other forums, but those who instinctively see that there is something wrong with it usually don't know how to articulate the answer. Because schools tell people nothing about evolutionary psychology. Therefore people are made to live with permanent guilt for the instincts we have, because we don't understand them and then are told we are evil people for having standards for what we think is attractive. We should appreciate that people are precious snowflakes instead and therefore beautiful even in the shape of a rock.

                    The reality is that feelings are not some mysterious "intangible" thing, they are biological and exist for a reason, and what we are attracted to is universal, because we all live with the same laws of nature. Those laws determine what works and what doesn't. We consider that which signals that a woman will produce good offspring to be attractive. And that she is healthy enough and young enough to take care of said offspring. Smooth skin shows youth and health, which means she is more fertile, and has more energy for bringing up children. Big eyes also signal youth - when we are kids, the eyes look bigger in proportion to the face. A small nose signals youth, as the nose keeps growing with age, and so a big nose reminds us of old age, which is less healthy and fertile. Same with ears, which never stop growing. An elongated face is also a sign of old age as the face grows longer with age, which is why wide cheekbones in proportion to the chin look attractive, as they make the face seem less long. All these things in certain proportions; a too-small nose would not look youthful as much as unnatural.

                    A certain hip-to-chest ratio in men signals strength and is therefore attractive to a woman, and an athletic body fills the same function. In men it is not only about youth and fertility but about the strength to hunt and fight. A certain hip-to-waist ratio in women is instinctively considered attractive because it happens to be the best ratio for giving birth. Firm breasts and buttocks signal youth, as do clean teeth, fresh breath, a straight back, a youthful voice, healthy nails, and long, thick, lush hair. Hair becomes more fragile with old age and disease, and can only be long and full when it is healthy. When people talk about "we are all attracted to different things" they will pull out something like hair color, forgetting much bigger points such as that people everywhere are attracted to hair that signals health.
                    Last edited by Erik W; 06-12-2013, 06:14 AM.

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                    • Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
                      Some of us women never were attractive to begin with. I'm still surprised to this day anybody thinks I'm pretty.
                      Ye are ugly? Well then, my brethren, take the sublime about you, the mantle of the ugly!
                      -Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra

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                      • Originally posted by Erik W View Post
                        This is what is called a feel-good response, so naturally people like it. It tells them they don't have to change anything, they are just fine the way they are, and others are mean and controlled by the media because they don't understand that.

                        The reality is that (1) feelings are not some mysterious "intangible" thing, they are biological and exist for a reason, and (2) what we are attracted to is universal, because we all live with the same laws of nature. Those laws determine what works and what doesn't. We consider that which signals that a woman will produce good offspring to be attractive. And that she is healthy enough and young enough to take care of said offspring. Smooth skin shows youth and health, which means she is more fertile, and has more energy for bringing up children. Big eyes also signal youth - when we are kids, the eyes look bigger in proportion to the face. A small nose signals youth, as the nose never stops growing, and so big noses remind us of old people. Same with ears, which never stop growing. An elongated face is also a sign of old age as the face grows longer with age, which is why wide cheekbones in proportion to the chin look attractive, as they make the face seem less long. A certain hip-to-waist ratio is instinctively considered attractive because it happens to be the best ratio for giving birth. Firm breasts and buttocks signal youth, as do clean teeth, fresh breath, a straight back, a youthful voice, healthy nails, and long, thick, lush hair. Hair becomes more fragile with old age and disease, and therefore needs to be kept shorter. When people talk about "we are all attracted to different things" they will pull out something like hair color, forgetting the bigger issue that we all are attracted to hair that signals health.

                        Way to destroy someone's confidence fuc*wit

                        I refuse to believe that everything I am, Everything I think, feel, desire, fear is all just down to 'well, we evolved that way blah blah'
                        I'm so sick of everything being compared to back in Groks day. I feel that after thousands of years of evolution we have evolved past basic instinct.

                        Honestly, I think most of what you say is just utter crap. Sure, a youthful appearance may signal certain evolutionary signals, but the friggen size of someone's nose and ears? give me a break.

                        Clean teeth, fresh breath? My grandma could easily have clean teeth and fresh breath if she practised proper dental hygiene.

                        My girlfriend has a 'slightly large nose' I personally do not notice this, and I think she's gorgeous.


                        "It tells them they don't have to change anything"
                        So what, 'unattractive people' should go get plastic surgery to be more evolutionary acceptable?

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                        • This is what is called a feel-good response, so naturally people like it. It tells them they don't have to change anything, they are just fine the way they are, and others are mean and controlled by the media because they don't understand that.
                          The thing is, that young effortless beauty is fleeting. Then you are stuck.

                          I am in a fairly unique position of being more attractive at 39 than I was at 20. (At 20, I was 300lbs with glasses, size 26). I have a better body than I did at 16. And the bottom line, people are so much nicer to me now, in particular, men. Most strikingly my own husband. I don't have to be "nice" and "compliant" anymore. I can be more demanding and more of a bitch.

                          We can say "we are all attractive", but really the number of people that find size 26 attractive is small. And frankly at 5'6 and 300lbs that's a deformed looking body by anyones standard and not recognizable as a feminine form. And, well, how many women see 300 lb men and want to "mate" with them without the added allure of money.

                          That said, so many women insecure about their appearance that don't have bodies like that. SBHikes, you call yourself unattractive. But then your before photo is of a woman in manish clothes. If you go ahead and hide your femininity under frumpy clothes then you are just hiding your attractiveness. I could put you in a dress and probably get just about any man to say "whoa, hot".

                          I think a lot of women actually want to hide their attractiveness, for a lot of reasons. Mostly unwanted attention. When I was 300lbs, no one ever hit on me. At 172.... on Saturday I was hit on twice. In work meetings now "I love working with pretty women" when the old praise was "Thanks, that's a great analysis".

                          My other thought, once we pass the age of having kids, our needs change. I know a lot of men that keep wanting the youthful girl and they can have that until the money runs out, then they are alone. My husband has a friend who is SUPER critical of me. He has told my husband to dump me for a "younger model". He is in his 50's and only dates below 25 because they are young and hot. He always had the money to have them too. Until he got brain cancer. Now he is alone. Once you can't provide, you lose your appeal to the young ones. Better to have nourished an ongoing relationship with a woman who aged and has a strong bond if you want a partner later in life.

                          http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                          Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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                          • Originally posted by Lockstock View Post
                            Way to destroy someone's confidence fuc*wit

                            I refuse to believe that everything I am, Everything I think, feel, desire, fear is all just down to 'well, we evolved that way blah blah'
                            I'm so sick of everything being compared to back in Groks day. I feel that after thousands of years of evolution we have evolved past basic instinct.
                            Methinks you never got a good basic introduction to Natural Selection. I recommend The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins

                            Originally posted by Lockstock View Post
                            Honestly, I think most of what you say is just utter crap. Sure, a youthful appearance may signal certain evolutionary signals, but the friggen size of someone's nose and ears? give me a break.
                            And what about the peacock's tail?

                            Originally posted by Lockstock View Post
                            Clean teeth, fresh breath? My grandma could easily have clean teeth and fresh breath if she practised proper dental hygiene.
                            What year was Listerine invented? How many generations have we evolved under conditions where there was general access to Colgate toothpaste? You're missing the point.

                            Originally posted by Lockstock View Post
                            My girlfriend has a 'slightly large nose' I personally do not notice this, and I think she's gorgeous.
                            You should try not to take general facts personally. It clouds your judgment.

                            Originally posted by Lockstock View Post
                            "It tells them they don't have to change anything"
                            So what, 'unattractive people' should go get plastic surgery to be more evolutionary acceptable?
                            I think he meant this with regard to the lifestyle factors that one does have control over, not your girlfriend's monster proboscis.
                            The Champagne of Beards

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                            • Originally posted by RichMahogany View Post
                              proboscis.
                              another one of my favorite words. hahaha...snatch

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                              • Speaking of nice snatches, I submit the following:
                                Mikhail Koklyaev snatch 419 lb /
                                The Champagne of Beards

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