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The whole bulky woman thing

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  • #31
    Women do what they do to look good for men AND for women. "Don't you know that a man being rich is like a woman being pretty?"

    There's a lot of awesome ways women can look, in my opinion. Not just one way.
    Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by MarissaLinnea View Post
      That idea has probably come from years of being programmed to believe that in order to be beautiful and attractive, I need to have D cup breasts, a 25 inch waist, 34 inch hips and be so toned that a quarter would bounce right off my ass.
      Newsflash to all the women out there: Despite what the TV and the checkout aisle magazines want you to believe, most men are simply not that picky. Not even close. Not even in the same zip code. There are men who want a trophy, but seriously, is that the kind of man you want?

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      • #33
        Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
        Women do what they do to look good for men AND for women. "Don't you know that a man being rich is like a woman being pretty?"

        There's a lot of awesome ways women can look, in my opinion. Not just one way.
        You are 47 and look great in a bikini. That's awesome.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Diogenes View Post
          Newsflash to all the women out there: Despite what the TV and the checkout aisle magazines want you to believe, most men are simply not that picky. Not even close. Not even in the same zip code. There are men who want a trophy, but seriously, is that the kind of man you want?
          lol!!! No, that isn't the man I want or have, my husband loves the way I look with or without the curves, he's awesome!

          What I'm saying is that it isn't always about wanting to look that way for a man. I want to look a certain way and get to a certain level of fitness because that is a goal of mine, and I personally feel much more confident and beautiful when I'm at my goal. I've been there before, I will get there again. It's not about looking good for someone else, it's about me and what I want for myself.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by MarissaLinnea View Post
            lol!!! No, that isn't the man I want or have, my husband loves the way I look with or without the curves, he's awesome!

            What I'm saying is that it isn't always about wanting to look that way for a man. I want to look a certain way and get to a certain level of fitness because that is a goal of mine, and I personally feel much more confident and beautiful when I'm at my goal. I've been there before, I will get there again. It's not about looking good for someone else, it's about me and what I want for myself.
            That's the nice thing about being in shape, there are personal benefits, too. Health, energy, confidence, attitude, along with the pure physical joy that being fit brings.

            I hear what you are saying. I've lost 30 lbs and have already noticed women taking that second glance, and DW is very appreciative, but the next 30 lbs and the continued workouts are for me. DW has said she likes me with some meat on my bones and doesn't want me to get too skinny, but with all due apologies, I want some degree of athleticism back.

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            • #36
              I'm finding that with the limited amount of weights that I've done, I feel way more confident. And not really beautiful, but I feel light and joyous. I was running on the beach the other day, and granted it was a gorgeous warm sunny day with low tide, bare feet and baby sandpiper birds begging their moms, but I just felt so light and joyous that I wanted to whirl around in circles or do cartwheels or something. I don't look any different, but I feel different. By the way, just from hiking, biking and jogging, I have awesome looking thighs when I do squats.
              Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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              • #37
                Originally posted by Diogenes View Post
                That's the nice thing about being in shape, there are personal benefits, too. Health, energy, confidence, attitude, along with the pure physical joy that being fit brings.

                I hear what you are saying. I've lost 30 lbs and have already noticed women taking that second glance, and DW is very appreciative, but the next 30 lbs and the continued workouts are for me. DW has said she likes me with some meat on my bones and doesn't want me to get too skinny, but with all due apologies, I want some degree of athleticism back.
                I'm right there with you on the bolded....well, all of it, but especially the bold, lol!!! My husband likes me where I'm at now, but I just don't like it. I want to feel strong and healthy and confident and look like the athletic badass that I know I am, lol!!! He'll get over it...

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
                  I'm finding that with the limited amount of weights that I've done, I feel way more confident. And not really beautiful, but I feel light and joyous. I was running on the beach the other day, and granted it was a gorgeous warm sunny day with low tide, bare feet and baby sandpiper birds begging their moms, but I just felt so light and joyous that I wanted to whirl around in circles or do cartwheels or something. I don't look any different, but I feel different. By the way, just from hiking, biking and jogging, I have awesome looking thighs when I do squats.
                  It's so interesting how things start to shift as you get stronger. Everything just becomes more effortless and easy. Good for you girl!!!

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                  • #39
                    The first time I walked into a weight room was 1979 and it was a beginning weight training class in college. There was one other woman in the class (and about 20 men). She was even tinier than I was. And she was awesome. I gained so much confidence from that class. It was just a totally different reference point for me. I'm so glad that it's a normal thing for women to do now.

                    I always thought bulky meant that women didn't want to exercise to get bigger in any way because our culture teaches that smaller is better (except of course for breasts) when it comes to women. But training for a competition is so different from training to stay firm and strong that not many women will see too much of an increase in size unless they want to and work to do so.
                    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                    B*tch-lite

                    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by sakura_girl View Post
                      I don't think you mean bulky, I think you mean stocky, if I had to be blunt. If you were born with that type of figure, what are you going to do? There are some forum members around here who just won't accept their bodies and think that they could be the slim type with tiny bulges of muscle here and there in the right places to look sexy. Well you know what? Not everyone can do that.
                      I used to think I could never have the strength or body that I have now, but paleo and crossfit/powerlifting changed that. I am *almost* able to see the upper part of my abs ... once when I was drunk I told my friend to punch me in the stomach repeatedly (lol) and she even acknowledged that the muscles were definitely there. I'm about 23% BF ... I'd like to get down to 20 or so but that will probably have to wait until after my climbing expedition this winter. In 2010, I couldn't do ONE full pullup (deadhang all the way, none of that halfway down BS I see dudes in the gym doing all the time). Now I can bust out 4 (or 5, on a good day). Point being, anyone can have any body, it just comes down to what you're willing to sacrifice to get it.
                      Subduction leads to orogeny

                      My blog that I don't update as often as I should: http://primalclimber.blogspot.com/

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by AmyMac703 View Post
                        Point being, anyone can have any body, it just comes down to what you're willing to sacrifice to get it.
                        +1
                        ----------------------------------------
                        F, 48, 5'10"
                        Start Date: 25-06-12 @ 161lbs
                        Goal Reached: 30-09-12 @ 143lb. Now bouncing between 145lb - 149lb. I'd like less bounce and more consistency :-)

                        Started Cross Fit 20.12.12 ---- Can't wait to submit my success story on the 1st anniversary of starting primal.

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                        • #42
                          It's almost comical how some women think if they lift weights, they will suddenly wake up jacked. As a somewhat young man who works out hard, eats right, has way more testasterone than you, etc... I can honestly say... you will never be "bulky" from strength training alone.

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                          • #43
                            Well my whole thing was I didn't think bulky meant jacked or looking like a man. I thought it meant looking fat and athletic, stocky. I mean, if you are already fairly stocky, I thought maybe it might make you stockier. Like how you see these really heavy guys with giant calves from bike riding or hiking, only you'd get giant shoulders to go along with it because now you're doing your upper body. That's all I ever thought it meant. I never thought any ordinary woman would ever look like a muscle man without steroids. I think lots of muscles on a slender woman looks great. I just figured if you don't already have a tendency toward slenderness, that you might just enhance your stockiness and figured that's what women were trying to avoid.
                            Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                            • #44
                              You know where I think it comes from, at least for me? I was on the track and cross country team for a year in high school. I was jr varsity and ran the mile and 2 mile. My friend talked me into it. I thought it was fun and hoped it might help me keep the weight off that I had lost the summer before. Well, it didn't and eventually I gained enough that the next year the coach suggested maybe I should try shot put instead. The varsity shot putter was enormous. I didn't want to be like that. So that's probably where the image in my mind came from.
                              Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
                                You know where I think it comes from, at least for me? I was on the track and cross country team for a year in high school. I was jr varsity and ran the mile and 2 mile. My friend talked me into it. I thought it was fun and hoped it might help me keep the weight off that I had lost the summer before. Well, it didn't and eventually I gained enough that the next year the coach suggested maybe I should try shot put instead. The varsity shot putter was enormous. I didn't want to be like that. So that's probably where the image in my mind came from.
                                omg... yes. I could see that. There are plenty of Olympians that have low body fat... and plenty that are in a sport that's more about brute strength... and do not have low body fat. Shotput and weight lifting come to mind... I want to look more like a sprinter or a gymnast (but I'm more of a Shawn than a Nastia body type)...

                                I think I bulk up more than most women when I lift... my large biceps have been mistaken for fat arms... a LOT, even though muscle doesn't hang the same way as flab (you could [and still can, but not to the same extent] see my tricep definition when my arm hangs)... people just see big and think fat, I guess?
                                Usually once I dole out tickets to the gun show... they're either in awe or scared... and usually either way they think I'm a freak of nature, but "fat" isn't it.
                                I lost a fair amount of muscle and strength during pregnancy, so I still have big arms, they're just not as toned or bulky with muscle... I think the muscle is starting to come back (still need to rebuild strength) and the fat's starting to go away... I'm not so secretly hoping that I DID lose some of my bulk, so I can stop getting those reactions.

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