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Ladies... How do you lose the thighs?!?

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  • I've not posted on here in forever but have been reading this thread with interest. I hope the OP can give herself some more slack, the measurements posted cannot be qualified as fat by any qualifiers unless we are comparing to anorexic models.

    I am 1 month post partum with my 4th child. I'm generally about a size 4(down to a size 2 at times) and right now I'm about a size 10. I'm been thinking a lot lately about what is healthy and what is a good size. I've felt like I was doing "good" to be smaller, although my husband prefers me curvier- I'm naturally an hourglass. I don't know that I want to be as small as I was.

    Fwiw check out :
    Welcome - My Body Gallery - What Real Women Look Like

    For pictures of real women at all different sizes. We tend to be too hard on ourselves imo and can be more forgiving of others than ourselves. So, I'm working on loving the body I am in right now and embracing my extra curviness. I'm hoping to keep an eye towards health and not so much towards measurement, trying to get smaller and smaller is not the best goal.

    Fwiw I'm 5'4' and 150 right now. Usually I range from 117-124 or so. My dh(and friends) find me too skinny at 117. Right now I am considering what it would be like to just say 130 is ok for me. What about 140? Looking at other women at that size on the site above I see that it really can look nice imo. In my home growing up anything over a size 6 was considered "fat" my mom is still perpetually off and on different diets trying to keep her body just so. I don't want to pass that legacy onto my daughters(I have 3). I can still remember my measurements from before I gave birth to my first. I don't want my daughters to have such a narrow view of beauty and health.
    Last edited by soror; 12-19-2012, 10:03 AM.
    Mama to 4, wife to my love


    • So when some tall lady calls herself a whale or fat cow when she weighs so much less than me, I can only imagine what she would think of me if she saw me. It's like a virus when women say stuff like this about themselves, a virus that transfers to the rest of us and to our children.
      She would envy something about you.

      I was at a party and saw lots of women, then a photo of me in the group. They were all bigger than me (odd, OK) and when I was with them, I didn't think 1. anyone was fat or 2. that I was smaller.
      Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!


      • Originally posted by Leida View Post
        But my character flaws lead me to overeat and treat myself with food, so it leads to a healthy middle-aged woman with too much fat on her frame for her liking. It's really very simple.
        It is in almost every case a biochemical problem, not a character flaw. I can turn my cravings (& the subsequent eating binges that you would, and I once did, characterize as "character flaws") like a light switch. Skip breakfast, eat less fat, less protein, more carbs ... BAM it comes back. Eat a huge breakfast, solid fat & protein all the time, seasonal carbs, *switch goes off*. No cravings. No binges.

        This is true for almost every person who tries it and finds the magic combination of breakfast/fat/protein for him or her. Find that combo, do it, and switch is off. Get off track on your personal magic combo, switch is back on and all the cravings and overeating returns.

        Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
        If your 22" thighs are gross, then what the hell are my 26" thighs? However, if you want to be leaner... great.

        But being lean or fat does not make you pretty, gross, ugly, cow like or anything.
        No kidding. Mine are 23" right now and I'm thrilled, but they were 25" last year and 27.5" the year before and ... still happy to be me. I figure my thighs being more in balance with the rest of my body will happen when the rest of my body is really healthy. For me, it's not something I'm going to work on specifically, b/c as I mentioned before, when I run/lift/squat/swim more, my thigh muscle just adds circumference on top of the fat. Kudos to those for whom it works.

        I'm personally much happier to have disproportionate thighs than, say, arms or waist, b/c it's really easy to hide my thighs. Most people have no idea they're so big.
        5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
        Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
        Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
        Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
        ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***


        • For me, there's an aspect here that has to do with body type itself. IF we look at the three classical types (which is more like a gradient scale), you're going to have people who have smaller frames and amount of muscle (and usually fat) on one end, and those with larger frames, more muscle (and often more fat) on the other. And in the middle are those who are our current beauty standard (in fitness circles), and on the far thin side, you'll have our models.

          So, looking at myself and my sister comparatively, same height -- different body types. My sister is healthier around 145, and I'm healthier where I am now (i consider it htus because of the "no effort" aspect). And I have a friend who is the same height but healthier at 155/160 (where she normally sits with "minimal effort") and then also another friend who is healthy and the same height who sits in comfortably around 115-120.

          Some of us are apples, some are pears, some are hourglass, some are more straight/boyish, and one is even all boobs (triangle?). And all of us are fit and healthy.

          I would say that "loose skin" is not "hanging fat" but I have also noted (particularly among people with body dysmorphia) that sometimes the relaxed muscle in the arm is 'pinched' and 'flicked as if there's no muscle there at all. Usually, there is, and if a person activates, then no big deal. Other times, there is loose skin, and no amount of anything is going to get rid of it at a certain point except surgery.


          • Originally posted by MamaGrok View Post
            I'm personally much happier to have disproportionate thighs than, say, arms or waist, b/c it's really easy to hide my thighs. Most people have no idea they're so big.
            I have a very disproportionate body. A few "rough" measurements--My left wrist is 5.25" My right is 6.5" my left forearm is 8.5" right 10.25. My left calf is 10.5, right-14".

            I also have other issues that make my body very different from the general population.There is nothing I can do to change that which is my body. Furthermore, I have never had an issue with my disproportionate body parts. And, I stopped using my weight as a measure of my worth 4 years ago.

            I am all for working on improving oneself in all areas of life. However, when I read some of the things women here say about their bodies/themselves I cringe.

            Instead of beating up on yourself because of some "perceived flaw" I would like to see real success measured first by accepting, loving, and being thankful for who you are in the now and then by the daily choices made.

            As I drilled into my kids-- we have control over the choices we make but we don't always have control over the consequences those choices bring.


            • I am 5' 7'' and 171 pounds, down from 208 in the last 24 months. My pre-baby weight was 183. I had always worn size 14-18 and am now in a 10. I could be completely happy if I stayed at this weight as long as I continue to have good skin, good moods, and no joint pain. While I do watch my weight and look forward to the scale (I dipped below 170 last week), my main focus is improving performance...working on unassisted pullups and running longer distances. I don't have a goal weight, because I just don't know what's possible, nor do I want weight loss to be a high-priority goal for me. And I refuse to go hungry. Hunger makes me cranky. I still want to pay attention to what is working for other women. Some of the after photos on this board (of women older than I) are truly inspirational. My thighs are 25''. I don't know what they were 2 years ago, but they look much better in shorts now, which is year-round attire here.
              As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.


              • That's awesome Jennifla.

                I only know my weight because I went to the doctor for immigration. I just assume I weigh the same going forward because of how my pants fit.


                • A few points:

                  -if you weigh more, but have the same BF% as someone who weigh less, you are ahead in the game, because that means you carry less fat. Where looks are concerned it's BF% that counts, not sheer mass.
                  -I do like the 'skinny fat' or 'over fat but not overweight' definitions because that drive the nail on the head in terms of the fitness/looks goals. It highlights the difference between what most people actually want: tight/firm/defined and what they think they want - lower weight.

                  I can't hammer this point enough - weight is only meaningful if you understand the correlation between fat/muscle ratio accumulation and loss when you gain and lose weight using a particular combination of a dietary macros and exercise regimen.

                  Going back to macros, I do believe that macros impact hunger and craving a huge deal, but there are some ingrained psychological dependencies that cannot be overcome by the best nutrition. I have tried every ration and approach under the sun, from <25 g carb a day to 70-80% carb and basically no fat. Everything in between, save for vegan versions.

                  And yet, I have never in my life, for a single day or hour in a day stopped craving fruit. Everything else I dropped and stayed away from for months and even years with no consequences: coffee, pastries, bread, grains, legumes, dairy, nuts & nut butters... you name it, I lived without it. I do experience a fleeting desire to get a candies or a cookies if they are in the house, but it is fleeting and easy to shrug away on most occasions. I can make them, serve and stash without problems. I have over-ate before of the normal domino foods: cheese and nuts, and in my pre-whole foods, post-pregnancy life I normally had a small bag of cherry twizzers every afternoon and a pastry or two with supper. Having dessert after supper was a norm through my entire life, normally tea with my grandma's jam. I don't overeat any of it now, and rarely make jam. When I have jam, I do want jam & will likely overeat it once I dig into the jar. Fruit is different. I have a gut-wrenching feeling every night I cut the fruit plate and cannot eat fruit, and when I eat fruit, the serving size of ~ 1 cup which is recommended doze a day is interpreted by my desire-stimulated brain as far too small. I am drawn to it, even if I hide it in the pantry. And, again, desire keeps telling me 'not enough, too small', I would eat about 3 to 4 cups of fruit (2 to 3 fruit the size of a medium apple). Save for jam, there is no other food that impacts me that way. It is a problem of desire compounded with emotional response (vacations/summer association), conditioning throughout childhood (shortage and no variety of fruit then abundance in season), ingrained, deep-seated belief that fruit is not a bad food (there is always this doubt that maybe there is benefit to eating fruit save for pleasure), and sugar/serotonin pleasure centers stimulation response.

                  The longest I went without fruit was 40 days. And I did not stop wanting it. Not really. I eventually got deeply depressed and dove into the fruit bowl.

                  I would like to try self-hypnosis to start hating fruit, but even there I encounter psychological barriers. I am going to see a holistic practitioner next year and see if something like acupuncture can be helpful.


                  I think I am settling into higher weight, but still no results from the new fitness regimen that I can easily identify. The weight is ~ 128 -130 lbs, up from 122-124 lbs, and muscle mass is 101-102 lbs, vs 100-101 lbs. So, confirms 25% muscle to fat ratio of gain.

                  Max/Failure workouts resonate hard on the body with DOMs for 1-2 consequent days. I do not feel like I am under-lifting. With teh form corrections from the trainer and weight gain, my deadlift is down (a LOT), my Overhead press/Push-press slightly better, bench - slightly better, and squat/BBR pretty much unchanged.

                  Swimming with the 4-hour body recommendations is drastically improved for distance kroll (34 min yesterday, and would have done 40 easily if the pool did not close for classes).

                  Breathing is still problematic with extra weight.
                  Last edited by Leida; 12-20-2012, 06:43 AM.
                  My Journal:
                  When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.


                  • Originally posted by Leida View Post
                    And yet, I have never in my life, for a single day or hour in a day stopped craving fruit.
                    I can't remember, is there a reason you can't just eat the fruit? I hardly ate fruit before I started trying to lose weight. (except when I was young and wanted to lose weight before my wedding. I only ate oranges that I can remember and dropped down to like 118 or something) Anyways, I bought fruit, it was my motherly duty to provide it, but it just went to waste. Then I started dieting CW style at the first of the year and actually started eating it. Then went LC and that was a good place to cut alot of carbs at one time.

                    Now, I have been adding it back in. I really do feel better. 2-4 servings per day. About 1lb of fruit each day. (per perfect health diet) There are some days that are naturally Lower carb with Higher fat though also, but I found that sometimes, like this morning, I was just not going to be happy until I had some fruit. And so I did. And now I can get on with my day. And for some reason, coffee w/cream after fruit (usually fruit with yogurt) just signifies to my brain, I am done. That was good and now drinking this, I am done.

                    I wish morning coffee had the same effect, then I wouldn't need to eat the rest of the day So I know it is all mental, kind of like coffee after dessert I guess.

                    Anyways, I don't know that I like the word "allow" but I know that each day, I want an apple, a banana, a serving of blueberries, and sometimes even a grapefruit or orange. Those are my limits. That is what I keep in the house. When I reach my max, I am done. Just like a bank account. I don't want to be overdrawn. So I know I can have those, and only those and after I have those, that's it, I am done.
                    65lbs gone and counting!!

                    Fat 2 Fit - One Woman's Journey


                    • Did you try coffee with lemon juice? I find it very good.

                      It is not that I do not want to eat fruit at all, it is that I have blood sugar issues and having less is much better for me than having more - it increases appetite, causes stuff like shakes, makes me feel cold, gets mood swings. I know that because I felt very different with no sugar at all (but unlimited veggies carbohydrates (just no sweet potatoes, carrots kindda thing)) for those 40 days. Physically I was unstoppable. So it is either just pure sugar or fructose.

                      I just would love to be like the people who can have it or leave it and say that I 'just don't have any cravings for sweets' like Paleobird or sbhikes..... Right now I am down to the idea of having fruits for supper (fat+protein for breakfast, unlimted veggies and meat for lunch and fruit with almond butter for supper). I am out of all other ideas.

                      Interestingly, banana is one fruit I don't like, unless it is a sweetener in the smoothie with a lot of berries and lemon. I like sourer fruit with tons of juice to them, like granny smith apples, grapefruits, all berries, pomegranates, plums though I also love mangoes, peaches, pineapples, melons... dunno if you would call them sour? & I even love lemons and limes!!! I actually have to admit to chewing on some of the lemon after squeezing it into my 'Mater Cleanse lemonade' (and NO, I am NOT doing MC diet, just using lemonade to keep hunger pangs down) or tea.
                      Last edited by Leida; 12-20-2012, 08:29 AM.
                      My Journal:
                      When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.


                      • Leida,
                        Why are you convinced that 3-4 cups of fruit a day is "bad" for you? Most healthy people eat a healthy amount of fruit. It is part of a healthy diet. Even diabetics can have fruit.

                        If eating fruit is making you feel awful, have you considered perhaps a medical issue? Allergy or something? Everyone that has a healthy body should be able to have fruit several times a day with no ill effect. I can't vouch for weightloss, but eating a banana should not be making you feel like shit, unless you have something very wrong going on.

                        when I eat fruit, the serving size of ~ 1 cup which is recommended doze a day is interpreted by my desire-stimulated brain as far too small. I am drawn to it, even if I hide it in the pantry. And, again, desire keeps telling me 'not enough, too small', I would eat about 3 to 4 cups of fruit (2 to 3 fruit the size of a medium apple).
                        The recommended amount of fruit in a day is usually 2-3 servings, not one.

                        My other thought- and I am sure you tried this- but are you by chance reacting to pesticides on the fruit? (With the illness, not the cravings).

                        Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!


                        • I am thinking it is some sort of a fructose problem, because it looks like the problems are triggered by fruits and vegetables containing over 5 g of fructose (I was watching it when I was eliminating sugar on Whole 30) & I had shakes reaction 2 or 3 times after consistently eating sugars and fruit - the shakes were caused by higher consumption of sugar (say fruit every day and some chocolates/icing this weekend when decorating gingerbread houses, or after eating gelato in September after having a fruit for breakfast). But the trouble is it makes me feel unwell, but I can't stop at one cup. I think a healthy person should be able to, no? Just have half an apple, sigh contentedly and not feel like the world is an unfair and dark place 'cause I can't have two more?

                          I eat for the most part organic fruit (apples) or fruit that needs peeling (grapefruits and such). Since I get the same reaction from sweet potatoes that generally are not a 'dirty crop', I think it is fructose. I also break out after consuming like 2 tbsp of honey.

                          One cup was recommended for people with sugar issues, like me, by Hydman (he is a nutritionist I trust the most as he was the one who really pinpointed the diet that works the best for me I think) in his latest book specifically on Blood Sugar and di-abesity (Blood Sugar Solution).
                          My Journal:
                          When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.


                          • I dunno, I'd get to a doctor and see if you can't ferret out the cause. Some of this stuff is no big deal when you are young and can kind of eat around the issue, but as you age, those kind of issues could complicate things. I'm all for eating our way to health, but when healthy foods do bad things to you, it's time to bring in an MD or at least someone who can make sure your systems are functioning properly.

                            Like I said, it may not be a big medical problem today if you can control your bloodsugar by diet alone, but if it is so sensitive that a small amount of fructose is bad, what if it gets worse or one day your family finds you in a coma? I know the shakes feeling of which you speak, but it took me a bag of snickers to acheive it, not a jumbo fruit salad.

                            Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!


                            • Oh, I agree with you, but so far I just got high sugar reading once, and they did a fasting test after that, and it came negative. So that was the end of it as far as the traditional medicine is concerned. That is actually the main reason I want to speak to a holistic practitioner/acupuncturist. I doubt I have anything life-threatening or serious, but if there is some imbalance, I think it might be helpful. (Shrug) for now I am trying to stick to minimizing sweets consumption the best I can without going bananas (pardon the pun!)
                              My Journal:
                              When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.


                              • Are you trying the potato diet Leida?

                                I am sure you are doing the right thing to restrict fruit. It's a very individual thing. Fructose intolerance for one reason or another is pretty common, and female instinct is time and time again proven to be spot on. That's not to say that a few pieces of fruit a day are harmful for everyone.

                                I do appreciate where you are coming from. I suspect that you might be better off following a CW-style female body-building regimen eating little and often and treating your body to a lot more homeostasis.
                                F 5 ft 3. HW: 196 lbs. Primal SW (May 2011): 182 lbs (42% BF)... W June '12: 160 lbs (29% BF) (UK size 12, US size 8). GW: ~24% BF - have ditched the scales til I fit into a pair of UK size 10 bootcut jeans. Currently aligning towards 'The Perfect Health Diet' having swapped some fat for potatoes.