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How do I get back in the water?

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  • How do I get back in the water?

    Apologies if this turns into a long-post. I'll try and keep it brief.

    Ten years ago when I met my husband he introduced me to surfing. Over the years it became a big part of my life and despite out chaotic lifestyle and bringing up two babies it was something we loved to do and it was just so much fun.

    I'll never be any good- I'm a kook but I loved it so much! It was so good for me on many levels. I'm more of a lazy, cerebral person who would rather be chatting or reading a good book and surfing presented a real personal challenge in lots of ways.

    Well, things aren't so good these days. Over the past couple of years, the toll of my husband's job- he's in the Armed Forces- has had a massive effect on us. He's physically and mentally wrecked and I'm convinced my fibromyalgia was brought on by the stress of it all. Our relationship is in tatters as well.

    I was in so much pain that I couldn't even have my wetsuit on.

    As part of getting better. I stripped life down to its basics and I took a sabbatical from surfing. I just put it- and lots of other things-out of my mind. Its a strategy that's worked.

    Now I'm in a much better place physically and mentally and I think its time to get back 'the stoke', but I have a problem. Its definitely mental because I just keep making excuses to not do it.

    It just makes me so sad to even think about surfing- its tied up with so many happy memories, of a period of my life when things were 'good' and that just depresses me because right now its all been lost and I'm coming to terms with a part of my life that's 'over'.

    I had a friend who loved to canoe many years ago with her boyfriend. They split up, and she's never been back in a canoe since. She said it reminded her too much of her crappy boyfriend. At the time I could never understand why she would deny herself something that was so much fun, but now I do.

    So how do I 'own it' again? How do I get past this phase? Because I don't want to deny myself so much fun. Why would I 'punish' myself in that way?

    Do I just need to man-up? I'm hoping that by simply admitting its a problem I can start to make progress. It should be easy right? Just put on my wetsuit and walk down the beach. Its not hard! Its starting to become a bigger problem than it needs to be.

    Has anyone else experienced this sort of mental block, not just surfing, but maybe relearning to love something that has had so much emotional significance in your life?

    How do you get back into it?

  • #2
    I had a similar thing with swimming. You could try a gradual approach (if you're not already) - go to the beach with no expectations, just have fun. And if while you're there you feel like paddling, well that could be fun right?
    And perhaps while you're there you'll see other people in the water having fun, perhaps even surfing, and maybe you'll want to, and sure why not right? Take care, take it easy and wait for the magic


    • #3
      Do you have any surfing buddies? Or a friend who's never tried it but is interested in it? You can create new memories - surfing with new people, a new beach or by teaching a newbie.
      Quietly Primal
      Eating food that remembers where it came from


      • #4
        Thanks for the replies guys. Think I just need to get that wetsuit on and get to the beach- as you say Spiritwarrior- and just see what happens. Stop putting pressure on myself!

        I do have a friend that wants to get into it, so maybe I should start badgering her a bit more.


        • #5
          You have to suck it up and go for it. Once you do there will be no looking back
          You'll never see the light if you're in someone else's shadow, or said another way, life is like a dog sled team, if you're not the lead dog, the scenery never changes


          • #6
            Well I did it!

            Just got back from a session- and I feel GOOOOD!!!!

            Just messed about in the white water, and took the time getting to know my board again, figuring out the quirks of my little beach. Didn't push myself and just eased back into it. I found myself quickly gaining confidence and remembering why I loved it so much.

            Conditions weren't ideal- the break doesn't hold surf well when it gets too big, and there was a nasty rip and strong undercurrent- conditions that have sent me into a panic before. But its all coming back to me and I was amazed at how calm and relaxed I was.

            Oh, and had a little post surf chat with another local I'd not met before- always part of the fun talking surf and meeting new people!

            Definitely starting to feel the magic again.

            Thanks guys- I just needed that little bit of encouragement.


            • #7
              Awesome! Good for you!


              • #8
                yay! so glad you're getting your surf-mojo back!
                Quietly Primal
                Eating food that remembers where it came from


                • #9
                  Thats awsome!