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A Year Ago Until Today....Just Wow

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  • A Year Ago Until Today....Just Wow

    I'm not going to lie, I have had a rocky and imperfect year but I seem to be going in the right direction. Let's chronicle some events here:

    One year ago today: I was just looking at my work email and I found an invitation for a 50th birthday party(in office) for a coworker. They held this little party for this person because they were turning 50 and it is the typical loads of finger foods and cake. Well I really didn't know this person all too well, but I went to the party for the primary reason on engorging myself with food and sweets.

    November/December: The gorging continued, i knew I felt miserable, but I had no sense of control over fixing it. I felt depressed, hopeless, and just felt like crap.

    January: January rolled around and I had a myriad of problems cropping up. I was a whopping 300 pounds, had gall bladder problems, was not using my CPAP for my sleep apnea. I decided I had to do something and do it fast. I then started TPB and I pulled off about 30 pounds from January-February. I didn't really do TBP to a great degree...my diet was decent but I believe that it could have been better, I didn't exercise at all as well. At this point my blood pressure started jumping up 150/100 was a rough average. Blaming it on TPB I quit it, went to the Dr and found myself on Lisinopril, Norvasc, and Zoloft for the anxiety of it all. Not a fun time.

    March: Got caught up in Visalus shakes because a friend of mine was selling them and swearing by them. Lost 10 pounds, but picked up heart palpitations from all the crappy soy they put in it.

    April-June: Traditional diet....went very blah but lost 15 pounds. At this point I was down to 245. We then went on a family vacation on a cruise ship. Well lets just say everything was out the window there. Is overeating on a cruise family vacation for a week the absolute worst thing in the world....no. What is bad is getting off the boat and not doing jack squat afterwards for 5 months.

    Late October: Welcome back 25 pounds

    However, I have been back at it for about 2 weeks now and I have pulled about 10 pounds of that back of so I am getting back where I need to be. I came back to try and go Primal/Paleo again because I have convinced myself that I just wasn't simply doing it right the first time around. I'm guessing it probably had much to do with convincing myself that I could be a Sedentary Primal who knew he should be using his CPAP for his disease that stops him from breathing 100+ times during one night's sleep. Sounds like that was a well thought out plan huh?? However, once i realized again that I had a problem that needed a consistent well rounded solution, I could not convince myself that there was any other option than Primal/Paleo. After reading Sisson/Wolf/Taubes I am convinced that the science is so solid that it is the only thing that makes sense. Also, surprisingly, my cardiologist is all about Paleo and has told me that I should stay down that route.

    Sorry for the wall-of-text, but I just wanted to lay out how things have been going for me and the chaos in my mind when I am not on board with making myself healthier. I will note today that, however, I am no longer on the BP meds and no longer on the Zoloft so thats a good thing. The thing that triggered all this, is I was just looking back at a year ago and my idea of a good time was going to a birthday party at work with the main purpose of engorging myself, and my idea today of being "bad" is drinking a once-in-a-blue-moon Coke Zero from the vending machine. One thing I will say though is despite the times of being good and being bad this last year , I have never had the urge at all this year to simply engorge on just absolute crap. A large high-quality meal on a cruise ship sure, but not just simply eating to be eating.

    I hope this maybe helps somebody out there who also has this kind of mental chaos going around in their brain in regards to food and weight loss. I finally believe that I have my urges and control problems in check and that I can continue a lifestyle that is Primal and active! Good luck everybody!
    Last edited by mauler5858; 12-17-2012, 03:01 PM.
    Starting Weight - 280lbs
    Current - 280bs
    Goal - Around 200lbs(will be focusing on the mirror and not the scale then)
    Working hard to make a healthier and more active me.

  • #2
    Can anybody relate to this, or possibly have any insights for me looking forward?
    Starting Weight - 280lbs
    Current - 280bs
    Goal - Around 200lbs(will be focusing on the mirror and not the scale then)
    Working hard to make a healthier and more active me.

    Comment


    • #3
      Yes, I can relate. I have been "playing" primal/paleo for over a year. I have had some health issues, minor, but they were a cluster and stressful, so I have yo-yo'd up and down. After I did the Whole 30 in April 2011, I was down 13 lbs, I can no longer remember my weight then, probably close to 210. Headed right back up in the following months to 225. Then had a breast cancer scare and ate my way through November through January. Mass removed (pre-cancer, close call) but I'm at 250. Have a beer, pancake, pasta weekend in early April 2012, swell up, heartburn, give up gluten. Take off a few pounds, but nothing like what one would expect from removing so many foods from the diet. I was keeping rice to less than 2 times a week, a little soy here and there in Asian foods, but mostly eating healthy. EXCEPT for sugar! Ice cream, candy, dark chocolate, I just wasn't being real about it. So I get tested because even my GYN is concerned I haven't lost more weight after being gluten free for 6 months and barely eating grains, and is also happy with the paleo diet I have been "doing.".

      BAM, insulin resistant. I am on VLC diet, 0 sugar, 0 starchy vegetables, 0 grains. I can't do some 80/20 thing right now. For me, I have food and eating issues that make me lie to myself and always be that person who can have a "little." But I can't have a little. If I could I wouldn't be 60-80lbs overweight. So I am on program for 60 lbs. No cheats, no little, no bite of dark chocolate here, a little A-1 steak sauce there. I know I may have sugar in a food eating out once in awhile. I don't want to be the person who never goes to parties or restaurants for fear of eating something "bad." I also know I might get fed up and decide to get a few vodka sodas with a friend, I just can't do a weekly treat right now. I just want to do my best to 98% compliant so I don't end up shooting insulin or other things.

      "Vacations, not medications!" is my new mantra. I have to be strict right now to heal myself and so I can shut down some of the lifelong issues I have had with food. Once I am confident that I am healed and ready, I can add in that weekly treat of wine or chocolate. Once I have developed other enjoyments that far outweigh some damn meal, can I lighten up on food compliance. I'll check back in and share how I do. Intentions pave the road to hell and all that.
      My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread70684.html

      Comment


      • #4
        Thanks for opening up, the mental struggle can be hard for sure. My problem is similar to yours but not quite the same. I can handle the 80/20 pretty well. My problem is that I can't be just a little bad or a 50/50 or so. If i am bad, i go completely bad and it takes me way to long to get back on the wagon. I do have a chocolate love. I believe that if you stretched out my DNA that every 10th section of the strand would be cacao. I have found to get by and get my taste of it I get a bar of dark chocolate and eat it slowly over the period of a week. My other two methods are getting the dark chocolate almonds(link below) or enjoy a good glass of Merlot. Many merlot's have some chocolate hints in them, and as most of you know a glass of red wine a day is endorsed by TPB.

        Hang in there too Kymma...both of our goals are pretty close. I need to lose 70(5 of it is already done) to be where I need to be. Good luck.
        Starting Weight - 280lbs
        Current - 280bs
        Goal - Around 200lbs(will be focusing on the mirror and not the scale then)
        Working hard to make a healthier and more active me.

        Comment

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