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and the lurker steps out into the light...

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  • and the lurker steps out into the light...

    Hey guys. I'm not really new here, but I've never posted before. I figured I should introduce myself before I start barging in to everyone's conversations.

    So, I've been full-on primal for a month, but almost primal for a long time before that. Going full primal was effortless for me, IF and all, because it's just how I naturally eat when left to my own devices. And I've seen great results so far, but to fully illustrate how great those results are, let me give you some background.

    My weight has always, always mattered. And I was never happy with it. I was a gymnast for 13 years, most of which was competitive. Because your strength:weight ratio is so important to the sport, I was always trying to get stronger and lighter. I retired at 17 after fracturing a vertebrae, and went to college.

    A couple short years later, around age 19/20, I weighed 203 pounds, my all-time high. Note to self: when you're no longer spending 35 hours/week in the gym, you can no longer eat like you are. See, I had been practically living in the gym since I was a toddler, so I had no idea how normal people ate.

    I eventually got fed up, and talked myself into hating food. Straight into anorexia, in fact. By the time I was 25, I weighed 95 pounds and my doctor was teaching me how to cough my heart back into normal rhythm. I got into ballet at this time, because you know, ballet is great for anorexics (sarcasm). I discovered I had a natural aptitude and was en pointe within a year, scoring (minor) roles even at my advanced age. My teachers all told me that if I had stated ballet as a kid (when I started gymnastics), I could have gone pro. Great. More incentive to stay thin.

    My mom ended up guilting me into treatment by crying every time she saw me in a bikini (rare, because I felt fat), and I eventually stabilized at 135 pounds. I supported myself as a model for a few years (not fashion, because I was too...short), and worked out religiously, hating every second of it.

    Moved in with the boyfriend at 30, did P90X. Eventually P90X got too easy, so I added Insanity to it. Every day. And I gained weight, ending up around 160. Needless to say, no longer modeling.

    A year later, we moved, and I gained even more weight during the transition, topping out at 174 pounds. Ugh. I felt like a prisoner in my own body. Got so desperate, I went on the HCG diet (!), and lost 40 pounds in 6 weeks. I got tons of compliments, but the heavy restriction involved set me right back on the track to anorexia again. And to be honest, even though I was back at a normal weight, I still felt fat. Because 500 calories/day will eat right through your muscle mass.

    So I had to go cold turkey and stop restricting at all until my head got back into a good place, by which time I weighed 160 pounds.

    Then I went primal. I stopped trying to stuff myself into the CW blueprint of "healthy". No more grains, no more 6 small meals, hell, no more breakfast because I'm just not hungry. I dropped the constant cardio and learned to lift real weights.

    So, I've been seriously putting thought into the whole thing for a little over a month now. I'm fully primal (with fermented dairy occasionally), I lift heavy (Starting Strength) 3x/wk, I do metcons 2x/wk, I do Convict Conditioning on my weight days, and I practice my gymnastics movements whenever I feel like it. Know why? Because I found a gym near me that offers adult gymnastics. I realized I was never happier than when I was in the gym, so I'm going back. I still have to regain my lost strength and drop some useless fat first, but I'm doing it, by golly.

    And it's not all in my head: last month, I dropped an inch from my waist, hips and thighs and added an inch to my biceps and calves. I still weigh 160 pounds, but my body fat went from 30% to 24.9%. Yay muscle!

    And I've never felt better. Not only physically, but mentally. I just don't care what other people think anymore. I don't care what the scale says anymore. I'm not a wrestler, I'm not the top cheerleader on the pyramid. My weight doesn't matter that much, as long as I'm building muscle (works for you) and losing fat (works against you). And once I do get back to gymnastics, now that I don't have to worry about competition anymore, I can finally play around with the cool men's events (I'm a chick)! I actually installed a set of rings in my house!

    SO, that's my story. Thanks for having me!

    TL;DR - Thank God I found you people!!!!!!!

  • #2
    What a fantastic story!! It looks like you found your happy place in the primal community and lifestyle, which is awesome.

    If you never post again it will be a shame, as I think you have a great story and great experiences to share!
    >> Current Stats: 90% Primal / 143 lbs / ~25% BF
    >> Goal (by 1 Jan 2014): 90% Primal / 135-ish pounds / 20-22% BF

    >> Upcoming Fitness Feats: Tough Mudder, June 2013
    >> Check out my super-exciting journal by clicking these words.

    Weight does NOT equal health -- ditch the scale, don't be a slave to it!


    • #3
      Tried to scan this post, got confused by the yo-yo weights. She's 200, now 95?, 160, 174, 135, 160???
      I'm glad I went back and read it proper. Good story.
      Well, come in.
      If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.


      • #4
        Great and inspiring story. Glad you stepped into the light. I am a Starting Strength veteran myself. Loved it. I gained more strength on it in 6 months than I did in 2 years combined on other lifting plans.

        Best Wishes