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First week of Primal - family problems

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  • First week of Primal - family problems

    I'm 50 and just starting the primal lifestyle. So far the only problem is with my spouse, who last night (second day in a row) complained that we can't afford the food I need to eat. He's freaking out over what should be a non-issue, but we have spent the last I-dunno-how-many years living *extremely* cheaply on carbs (pasta and sauce, rice and vegetarian curry). He's driving me nuts and I'm afraid I'm going to get the same "talk" night after night until he's not under stress from issues that we have no control over.

  • #2
    If he's stressed from external factors, I don't know that there's much you can do except offer him information (and books) about the lifestyle you've chosen and ask him to politely lay off until you either A) have a heart attack because this is actually UNhealthy or B) you go broke trying to eat well.

    Might not be a bad idea to track your weekly expenses (or however frequently you get groceries) so you can show him that it's not going to break the bank.
    Depression Lies

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    • #3
      I'm sorry, that must be tough. Your health is the most important thing though! I'm actually saving money with primal, but that's mainly because I have Celiac and was spending an arm and a leg on gluten free products like pasta before. I also have a sprouts near me that has amazing deals on meat and vegetables. I'm in college, so I live off of whatever I can make working 20 hours a week. I like to go shopping at local places on Wednesdays, because its double ad day, so the deals from the last week and this week are in effect. I also plan my meals based on whatever meat is on sale that week and I try to stock up. I've found I can buy bone-in chicken breasts at my local H-E-B for 99 cents a pound at least one week out of the month, so I'll stock up on about 5 pounds of that when I buy it. I rarely buy boneless skinless anything because its far more expensive. Granted, because of my budget I don't get to eat as much red meat, but I just do whatever works. Frozen veggies also seem to be on sale lately so I've gotten a lot of those as well. As for specialty products like coconut flour or honey and palm sugar, I go to my local Asian and Indian markets where they are a lot cheaper. Good luck I hope I helped a bit!

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      • #4
        "Living" is not the same as "thriving".

        A few options:
        Tell him you are simply going to try it for 30 days to see how you feel. (That's true, right?)
        Keep close track of your food expenses- yes, primal foods tend to be more expensive, but since they are more satisfying you don't need as much anymore. Be ready to hand him some hard numbers at the end of the month, and justify your health benefits to any extra cost there might be.
        Buy a cow, or half or a quarter of one. (Lambs and pigs are good too.) Bulk meats are way cheaper per pound, typically.

        Are you spending money on medical supplies, prescriptions, or other health-related expenses? Would a better physical exam cause your health insurance to go down? How much could you save if you got off of them (Don't stop taking them on my advice, though.)? Paying the grocer for quality food is way more enjoyable than paying the doctor, and I think it's cheaper in the long run, too. If I recall correctly, there has been at least one person on these boards who has gotten rid of his wheelchair, because he no longer has inflamed joints.

        I can't recommend the following, though it did come to mind:
        Turn it around on him: "You don't love me enough to spend an extra $50/month on food?"

        All that being said, I would guess that there are other money stressors he is experiencing, or else something about you changing scares him, which seems to happen a lot for spouses of Primals.

        Your health is yours. Do what you have to.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by jfreaksho View Post
          "Living" is not the same as "thriving".

          Your health is yours. Do what you have to.
          This! I recomend keeping very close count of how much you spend, and if he continues on, figure out how to cut that money elsewhere in your budget. The one thing that I refuse to skrimp on is food. If I need to budget, I do it elsewhere. When my husband lost his job, we cut internet out before we made a cut to our grocery bill. It is a priority.

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          • #6
            For me following the paleo lifestyle has saved me money, my meals are planned thus I don't stop at the store on a whim or at a fast food place for a quick fix. Keeping your meals simple will help cost too. I agree with jfreakso that something about you changing scares your spouse - BUT you have to do this for you - to be healthy and love the way you feel, when he sees this he may just jump on the wagon too

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            • #7
              I used to spend about $120 a month of meds for my allergies. My husband and I used to spend $1500 a month eating organic food from the store, ya know the junk organic foods that are packaged. Organic bread, organic burritos, organic noodles, organic rice, organic (soy fed) chicken, organic pot pies, organic chips and cookies, organic sweet drinks...that stuff is very expensive.

              Since going primal I have saved a ton of money on other things, for example, you will notice that with a clean diet comes a clean body odor and perfumes are no longer needed. Also, I now have a hair style that doesn't require hair spray. My allergies are completely gone since my Omegas are in correct balance and I no longer have sinus flare ups from grains and mucus build-ups from ultra-heated store milk. So now I'm saving 120 a month alone on not needing meds. Also since going primal, I no longer feel the need to catch up on the latest fashion, my priority is successful hunting and foraging for nutritious foods in the modern world.
              I've ditched ALL cosmetics, I probably own 1 lipstick, somewhere.
              During the entire season of the farmers markets, from May-October, we buy ALL of our food from there, averaging about $100 on Market each week and another $20-30 during the week for things like bottled mineral water, some pastured bacon and a cup of yogurt.
              So instead of spending $1500 a month eating 'organic store foods', we are now spending only ~ $550 a month on farmers market foods...including beef, rabbit, chicken and pork. We save so much money from May-Oct. that we were able to put 4 dogs on a raw diet, Mastiffs and Pitbulls.

              It might be difficult to save money during winter months, when in a lot of states the farmers markets are over. Starting next year you should hunt down your local farmers markets! I promise, you won't be disappointed

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              • #8
                You can pay the farmer, or you can pay the pharmacist.

                My grandfather, like so many who grew up in the depression, loved to save money buying the cheapest food he could find. He would brag about driving across town to save a few percent on bulk cereals. He died at age 74 of congestive heart failure after several years of bypass operations. The hospital bills consumed his life savings. His last words were "I'm sorry."

                Poor fellow didn't know any better. But we do.

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                • #9
                  I'm also one of those who is also actually saving money by eating this way. We did a poll about this a while back, and about 25% are spending less. It's because we're not eating out, descending upon the vending machines at work, going for 7-11 raids at midnight, and also just our bodies require less food volume-wise now.

                  Anyway, is the money his legitimate concern ... or is that just his excuse? Lots of partners are so resistant and will try to sabotage when the other begins to change and improve their life. (Been there, done that.) If so, once you can prove you are spending the same or even less, he'll just come up with another excuse at that point and will whine you to death.
                  "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

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                  • #10
                    My grocery bill has been lower since I now only shop in the produce and protein sections of the grocery. I would say we have dropped about 40 bucks a week in groceries and almost 100 bucks a week in eating out.

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                    • #11
                      It pays to shop around, too. Here's $70 at my farmer's market:


                      Here's $70 shopping at my food coop and Trader Joe's:


                      I'll bet if I didn't want the grass-fed and organic stuff I could double the amount by shopping at a regular grocery store. I live in one of the most expensive cities in Southern California, it that helps explain why food is so expensive for me.

                      Note that all the crap trader joe's junk food is for him. I get steak and vegetables and he gets frozen pizza or tamales. Saves a lot of money and makes him happy he doesn't have to eat the food that's going to "kill him."

                      Also, as I've gone along, I eat only twice a day at most and a few times now I've eaten only once. And those meals were all normal sized, not extra large to compensate. So even though there's not a lot of food shown there there's still a lot left over in the freezer and fridge from last time.
                      Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                      • #12
                        [QUOTE=TigerLily;623434...about 25% are spending less. It's because we're not eating out, descending upon the vending machines at work, going for 7-11 raids at midnight, and also just our bodies require less food volume-wise now.

                        Anyway, is the money his legitimate concern ... or is that just his excuse? Lots of partners are so resistant and will try to sabotage when the other begins to change and improve their life. (Been there, done that.) If so, once you can prove you are spending the same or even less, he'll just come up with another excuse at that point and will whine you to death.[/QUOTE]

                        Money is a legitimate concern - we had some high expenses this year and need to build our "lost my job" fund back up by 8k. So that's a real worry, but we are addressing it in other ways, like cutting back on Yule presents for each other and trying not to impulse shop.

                        Part of the problem with the increased food bill is that we were extremely thrifty before - no snacks, ate out twice a week or less, no sodas, spending $2/person or less on rice- or pasta-based dinners at home (we didn't buy meat except for the occasional ground turkey). Our weekly protein came mainly from the meals out. So primal snacks (nuts) are an added expense, we aren't saving anything on reducing sodas or junk food, and the Primal diet is more expensive than the mediterranean diet we were eating, because protein costs more than carbs.

                        But in the last week I found both nuts and meat on sale, and although we always buy groceries on "house" money, I threw in "personal" money and H. was much better than I expected about a $70 grocery bill.

                        As far as resistance and sabotage, I think there is some of that, based on his fear that he will have to eat the same way. I haven't said anything to him (he remained thin on the med. diet) about the possible danger of adding fat and protein on top of a high carb diet. If I lose weight and he gains, he might be willing to make the switch.

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                        • #13
                          So primal snacks (nuts) are an added expense
                          There is no need to snack, period! And most nuts are high in Omega 6 so cut them out and save money.

                          ( Check out Leptin Reset to see about snacking. Getting rid of snacks is very liberating and will help with weight control too)

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                          • #14
                            I'm not sure what's in the mediterranean diet, but one way I've tried to make it easier on my partner is when he makes dishes that have a substrate of rice or pasta, I just skip the rice or pasta, or substitute a small amount of sweet potato or fry up a burger patty to use as the substrate for my sauce if the sauce has no meat in it. He gets his pasta/rice and I don't have to eat it. One night we had cioppino which we usually eat with a big hunk of bread so instead of the bread I put cheese and sour cream in my soup. If I had made the cioppino, I would have dumped a half a bag of cheap calamari rings in it to stretch it out, but when he made it, cheese and sour cream seemed to be the only way to make it a meal. I think there's a little residual annoyance about the whole "serve yourself" aspect of not assembling the meal for me on my plate, but he's willing to put up with it since it's important to me.
                            Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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