Finding the Person Within: A Mother and Daughter Journey
It’s Friday, everyone! And that means another Primal Blueprint Real Life Story from a Mark’s Daily Apple reader. If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark’s Daily Apple community please contact me here. I’ll continue to publish these each Friday as long as they keep coming in. Thank you for reading!
Once upon what seems like a lifetime ago I was the brightest thing that walked into any room. No, I was not the thinnest, prettiest, best-dressed thing in the room – but I had an aura of pure confidence wherever my feet took me. I had a brilliant mind and unstoppable will. I had overcome so many challenges in my life – growing up with addictive parents, homeless, then eventually parentless and shipped to boarding school. I was an overcomer! The key – I LOVED myself and I feared no challenge. That is until I had my first child. I feared her. She was a challenge. No more me time, lots of her time. Lots of crying and sleepless nights as I tried to figure out this girl. She was out of control and would later be diagnosed with a form of autism. Add child 2 and 3 to the mix and this momma was DONE. Always weak, always tired, 80 lbs heavier – the girl who LOVED herself now hated every inch of her being. Parenthood felt like a failure. I started anti-depressants. Got worse. Started birth control (the Depo-shot) to even out hormones. Got drastically worse. With failing energy and a soldier as a husband who was never home I cooked from boxes and drive-thrus. I continued to get worse – and so did my little girl whose struggles caused her to not be able to be in a classroom. I was done. I felt hopeless. Was this a forever thing? Would I forever be huge and tired? Would my daughter forever be the outcast? Would I be forced to put her on some horrible mind altering meds? Something had to change.
The only thing I knew that I had control to change was our diet. So I researched. From that day on, 2 years ago this November, we have not eaten fast food. We stopped eating conventional meat and vegetables and starting buying only what we could get from local farms, meat and LOTS of vegetables and fruits. Minimally processed food and nothing with artificial dyes/preservatives/sweeteners. Within 1 month my child was COMPLETELY different! Her whole life we were poisoning her without even realizing it! As time passed and we continued to refine our diet she got even better.
Mommy got better too. As weight started to drop and I felt the hazy cloud that had covered my mind begin to lift I started to see glimpses of my vibrant past! I started exercising at a local track – my first sprint I made it about 100 meters and then proceeded to use my daughters inhaler! If I were living in primal times I would be the one that died first 
! I stuck it out though and now there is nothing athletic that I will not attempt. People thought we were crazy. We were those people with the “crazy” diet that no one had ever heard about. We were mocked. I didn’t care – the proof is in the pudding (which of course we didn’t eat!). For the first time since she was school age my little girl completed an entire year in a classroom, second grade, and the thought of having to medicate her was shoved far from our minds! [*disclaimer* I have STRONG opinions that if you have a child struggling with autism/ADD/ADHD or any other behavioral problem that it could only benefit the child to re-evaluate diet. I feel like this should always be a precursor to any decision about medication. This worked for us and allowed us to forego medication. However, at varying degrees of intensity within the spectrum I understand that this may not be a "fix-all" for every child. But I will say that I fully believe that a primal, clean, diet will definitely produce results! We are not calling our grokling "cured" but instead "managed"!]
Within a year I dropped the first 50 lbs and discovered your book and MDA! I was ECSTATIC!! First, I realized that somewhere, rooted deep inside, we all have a little Grok left. What else could explain how so many things in your book I had naturally discovered on my own. My body, all our bodies, WANT to be Grok again; NEED to be Grok again! You gave me something I needed more than anything – validation! Validation that what I was doing was right. (Even recently validating why I have an instinctive need to wrestle when I am feeling overwhelmed – I knew there was something to it!) You also provide a foundation to come to when I need some tweaks and advice and a place to put most of my curiosities to rest – because 9 times out of 10, when I have a question pop into my mind, you have answered it already somewhere on MDA. My family as a whole limit grains by the 80% rule. I strive for the 100%. Lots of good fats and great meat! My husband, who we all thought was healthy other than a borderline cholesterol level, is in the best shape of his life at 32 with a current cholesterol level that is excellent and playing on an Ultimate Frisbee team! Our entire family of 5 all participate in CrossFit. We love our box and we love the community. We make lots of time for fun – from camping to canoeing to 5k mud races – we do it all! And this Mommy is more alive than ever before! Sometimes I see myself in the mirror now and I am shocked at who I am. I ask my husband if he is shocked at the change and he always says no – that this is who I always was – hidden deep within that other person. From 201, with several health issues, to 126 with 0 health concerns – I feel GREAT! I feel whole again and my little grokling feels whole for the first time! Here’s to LOVING life and Groking on!!
Grab a Copy of The Primal Blueprint 21-Day Total Body Transformation and Start Getting Primal Today!
Posted By: Mark Sisson
Brilliant. You should be so proud of yourself and your lovely daughter. I especilly relate to the “we were poisoning her without realising”. My husband and I have only recently gone Primal and, as I was clearing out the kitchen cupboards of all the unhealthy items I felt guilty about throwing away all that food. I had to tell myself that they were poisoning us and that the bin was the best place for them. There is another bonus,I have so much more room in my cupboards now. Until now I never realised just how much junk food I had in store. I wish you and your family all the best.
What an awesome story. I have a 4 yr old stepdaughter who we think is starting to show signs of ADD (her dad/my DH struggled with ADD while he was growing up), and just recently (this past Monday) we started converting our family to live primaly. My challenge is that there is no way her mother will support our lifestyle at her house – whether she is seeing results or not. I figure 50% primal is still better than no primal at all.
Congrats. Your story gives me hope.
you and your child look amazing! and so happy
Great story, thank you for sharing!
Commentors–don’t forget that AD/HD (ADD) usually doesn’t go away in adulthood. I still struggle with it, but eating primal definitely helps my focus and productivity. I’m not anti-drug (I use caffeine as part of my regimen), but I’m trying to get my diet and lifestyle as primal and dialed in as possible before I go the prescription drug route again. I’d say that living primally, including diet, sleep, supplements, and exercise, along with using the aminos recommended in the Mood Cure, has my brain working at 80% of its potential. For me that’s quite a success.
It is a lifetime issue. I refuse to look at it as a disability it has enabled my daughter to do things outside of the norm in a positive direction. I would encourage you to try yoga or meditation if you are tempted to “go the prescription drug route again” my daughters half brother was medicated for adhd and I will never forget the first time I saw him after his Mom put him on meds….the light had gone out in his eyes.
Ditto on the process for addressing ADHD in adulthood! I am following the same regiment and once I added the Mood Cure Aminos to primal living I am 100% confident I can cancel my ADD Rx after 8 straight years of meds. What a great feeling!
Wow. What an inspiration you are. I am currently caring for my nephews, one of which is 7 and has been diagnosed as being on the spectrum. I’ve been hounding his mother about starting him on a less processed diet and introducing some supplements, but she remains adamant that he NEEDS his meds and the school he attends is also very pro-meds. It makes me sad to know that he will probably never be fully functioning as long as things are the way they are.
BUT…your story really gives me hope. Grok on, lady, grok on!
Schools are pro med because they get government dollars for learning disability diagnosis. More dx = more $$
That’s not entirely accurate. If that was the truth, the schools could afford to give assistance.
I think it is more likely that schools are pro-med because zombies sitting in class are a lot easier to handle than an energetic child. When you have 30 to 1 in a class – the teacher can’t focus on that “out of control” child. Meds mean she does not have to. We, the parents at home, are the ones that are saddened when at the end of the day our child shows up at home with a blank stare and we know the meds have taken them elsewhere. We know that while on them they are never fully here … that is a sad way to spend your childhood.
For all of you talking about children and spectrum disorders, I highly recommend Natasha Campbell-McBride’s Gut and Psychology Syndrome (the GAPS diet). She is a doctor in neurology and nutritional medicine who recovered her autistic son and has treated thousands through her clinic and book. The Gaps Diet is very similar to Primal, with a focus on treating spectrum and digestive disorders. Her book explains so incredibly clearly that you’ll be turning every page and saying, ‘incredible’. Every family with a child on the spectrum should at least look into it. We started our son six months ago and have seen great improvements!
It cannot be the same person – surely?!!
What an incredible transformation – and so much more so because of the young life involved.
You should be so proud of yourself hun. You’re an absolute inspiration.
Thanks for sharing that story. Very beautiful and inspirational!
OH. MY. GOD.
ASTONISHING.
I have recently had a trip to the ER with chest pains and high blood pressure. It took me about 5 seconds to know that if I didn’t change what I was doing I might not be there for my daughter. This story is great inspiration for me… I am going to record me journey starting today – I can’t wait to share the results… this totally touched my heart and soul.
I look forward to reading your progress in a few months, and you Primal story a few months after that!
Good luck Jackie! There’s a rich community here to support you on your journey.
Yes Jackie, keep us posted.
I am excited for you! Record on!!
Best wishes with your journey. You can do this! Just think of all the benefits.
Good for you and your whole family. I find myself feeling that validation that you spoke of. I was the weird one, the mean mother. My daughters adhd was managed with diet. unfortunately not primal ( I only wish I’d found it sooner) but kept her off sugar and processed food. It works
Great story, amazing results. Very inspirational to parents of children with problems.
My granddaughter is autistic and her paediatrician recommended a primal diet almost 2 years ago. The difference has made, and continues to make, a huge improvement. As you say, not ‘cured’ but ‘managed’ with much greater success.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. What you’ve accomplished is wonderful and inspiring.
Thank you for sharing, mothering can be so hard, especially when it isn’t what the movies lead you to expect.
So glad Primal is working for you; it is the solution to every problem as far as I can see.
Oh wow! This is the story I could have written but we started much later with our daughter. She has high functioning autism, hidradenitis suppurativa, bipolar and had a significant weight problem. She is 25 now. We have made changes slowly (before hearing about “primal”)and I agreed to do everything she did. About thirty pounds have slipped off. Her skin is clearing. She is bright-eyed, looks people in the eye more and talks more. She can focus and study. Her mood is pleasant. We constantly hear people remark on the change in her. (In me too!) The other day her naturopathic doctor cried with joy. She is far from “cured” but she is far from being as sick, unhappy and disconnected as she was. I expect more positive changes as she continues to heal. We are so grateful.
Wow I agree, epic win!
When I was reading your story and came across the last picture, I could not figure out why you would end the story with a picture of two of your daughters. It took me a second to realize that you were in that last picture. You’ve done amazing work, and I will definitely be passing this story on to others!
One of the most inspiring success stories I’ve read so far. Well done to you and your family.
Very inspriational! Thank you so much for sharing!
Awesome story! Great job! I’m so happy to hear how well your little one is doing
Holy sh*t is that you on the right? Friday success stories are my favourite on MDA, but i’ve never commented, but today i felt so compelled. Is that actually you on the right? If it is, you look insanely young! At first i thought it was your elder daughter with your younger daughter. Wow! Congratulations on your achievements.
You made me smile
! Yes, that is me on the right. Thanks!
My mom has always taken care of everyone around but herself. She would sacrificed her life for her kids (me and my little sis) and practically she did. She suffers from breast cancer now and bad eating habits definitely do not contribute to her recovery. She is also depressed by her appearance after chemotherapy and strong hormonal treatments.
I will definitely translate your story for her, because although she has always been a fighter, recently the “I cannot” approach is taking over her and she starts losing her optimism and will. Your story will definitely be a kick for her.
Thank you for sharing your awesome story and keep on paleo-rocking, dear. You are beautiful and I really admire your strong will and persistance. You are truly inspirational.
I will have your mom in my thoughts this week.
OMG when I saw the last photo I thought at first it was your two daughters!! I have made many changes to my families food intake over the last 2 years as both my kids suffered badly with eczema. I now know how to manage them both to have no signs of it at all.
Now it’s time to focus on me……if I end up looking like you I will be the happiest girl in the world. I also train at Crossfit but am interested to know how often you train? I have been going for 2 years now with a 8 mth break in between due to a back injury. My box is pretty fitness focussed and fat loss isn’t an issue for most so I’m looking at scaling more to shorten the WOD’s for me but my trainer is not so convinced. Coming from a military PTI background it’s go HARD always. From my research here I instinctively know that at 125kgs that is not the best way for me.
Again an awesome job – I imagine the best gift you could give yourself and your family. Well done to you
I train on average about 3 days on 2 days off. Our box is really good at scaling down WOD’s to your ability level. And most only last 15-25 minutes. It is amazing what 15-25 minutes of hard work can accomplish. Sometimes I just take off a random day and sprint – then I add lots of “fun” days in as well. I recently started biking again. I have a seat attached for my youngest to ride along and it gives me motivation to keep going, hearing her singing behind me. Good luck with your crossfit journey.
What an inspiration you are to those Mother’s with young children, showing them how it is done…to take control and see it through….this is who you really are! This is your journey that forms your most precious memories. This is what makes since in life. Thank you for sharing your story, and being a part of this unique & growing community.
This is so wonderful for you and your family!! Thanks for sharing!
I am very very impressed and inspired!
Truly awesome! Wow, I love these stories!
Thanks so much for sharing your story. Hubby and I have been on the primal diet for over six months now and we are both loving the results. We are trying to get our kids to cut out grains as well, but they are a bit older and its very hard. My son has autism and he is gluten-free, which has helped control his behaviours noticeably. My goal is to have both kids grain free eventually but we need to take it slow b/c they both have sensory issues and eating is always a battle as it is. I couldn’t agree more with what you said about diet and congratulations on your wonderful and impressive results!!
You look awesome! Wow!
Anyone looking for kid’s primal lunch ideas go to http://www.primalkitchen.com & choose her “lunchbox” posts. They’re great!
Above link is dead meat
Try http://primalkitchen.blogspot.com/
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I have been feeling quite cooked lately and look forward to finding some energy to make the most of every day with my family. I can’t wait to get my hands on your ever-popular books at the library.
Wow! Just Wow! Congratulations!
I am so inspired by your courage, tenacity and determination to find a better way for yourself and your family. What incredibly fortunate kids to have you as their Mom.
I too had to take a second look at the last photo, thinking that must be an older daughter! Amazing!!!