Disease Inventing Contest!
Restless leg syndrome is “genetic”, researchers tell us. (Technically, the research simply proves that some folks are more susceptible to developing RLS. This is a common thread in genetic research; by no means does that mean the research isn’t inherently valuable. It just means we need to stop blaming our grandparents when we develop diseases that are preventable through smarter lifestyle choices. Your “bad genes” aren’t a license to shirk personal responsibility.)
Restless leg syndrome has to be one of my favorite modern diseases. I could swear it is a profitable invention out of the imagination of our Big Pharma friends – if I didn’t know that the pharmaceutical industry would never do such a thing. Restless leg syndrome occurs overwhelmingly in overweight, inactive individuals. It’s a very logical consequence of an unhealthy lifestyle. In fact, with our tremendous rates of obesity and collective detestation of exercise, it’s a condition that makes perfect sense. It’s entirely preventable, but once again, we’ve manufactured a “disease” and the inevitable accompanying drugs.
I propose: The Invent Your Own Disease Contest
Requirements:
1. Your disease must identify at least one symptom of sedentary behavior, poor diet, weight gain or other unhealthy lifestyle choice. Bonus points for multiple-symptom diseases.
2. Your disease must disappear entirely with exercise, reduced caloric intake and a healthy lifestyle.
3. Your disease must be named after the symptom(s) it represents. It should sound made-up, just like Restless Leg Syndrome. No Latin.
Example: Roll Discomfort Syndrome. This disease is defined by an excessively large stomach roll which creates discomfort when attempting certain physical postures, e.g. curling up in bed, hunching over one’s computer, and leaning over to pick up the cat. There is a genetic component to Roll Discomfort Syndrome. If you have a history of obesity in your family, you may be at risk for Roll Discomfort Syndrome. There are medications to alleviate sensation and discomfort in this area of the body. You do not have to suffer any longer!
Note: there is a neurological component to some cases of RLS that is legitimate and typically unrelated to lifestyle. For example, RLS can afflict those with diabetes, Parkinson’s, anemia, and peripheral neuropathy. That said, addressing the underlying cause will usually alleviate RLS symptoms. But please. The “RLS” drug you see advertised direct-to-consumer on primetime television is not for these folks. This “disease treatment” is a way to make money off two vast and connected public health threats: obesity and inactivity.
P.S. Don’t forget to submit pictures of your fruit bowl to the Bees. A couple that have come in so far look great. Looking forward to seeing yours.
Posted By: Mark Sisson
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Radical. That was awesome. When I first saw and ad for RLS meds I thought it was a sketch comedy show or something!
How about SLS – Slow Locomotion Syndrome – or CMD – Can’t Move Disorder?
Do you suffer from wanting to answer the phone when you are driving? The phone rings and you know you might crash if you try to type in your password to unlock your blackberry. It keeps ringing and you just know it’s going to go to voicemail before you can get it. As the risks of rush hour traffic continue, your thumbs frantically work the keys. It could be a coworker organizing a team lunch. Does this sound like you? Well, you could be suffering from a completely treatable condition called CRS, also known as Can’t Relax Syndrome. CRS affects a large number of people who go undiagnosed each year. Every day many Americans suffer from this completely treatable disease.
The disease resides in the thumbs and Pfizerry can help.
Ask your doctor about Pfizerry.
CRS is linked to Social Stimulus Addiction. SSA is a dangerous and powerful addiction that affects individuals’ ability to function in a self-sufficient capacity or isolated state for longer than two minutes. Insecuria can help.
hi nice post, i enjoyed it
Do your homework before posting ignorant comments. The majority of people who suffer are actaully pregnant women, people with MS, people who recently had surgery, and other, healthy, NOT FAT, active people like myself.
They already have a great one..”Fibromyalgia” Sorry, that’s not real. The symptoms of it are identical to things like arthritis (which many of the people have) so, while they may have very real symptoms, I don’t believe this ‘disease’ exists.
I think it’s a way to group together a bunch of common ailments and sources of pain into yet another new, catchy syndrome for which they can invent new meds.
My boyfriend is an MD, and he calls it “fat, whiny bitch syndrome” so I guess that fits in with sedentary lifestyle causes for ya.