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27 Mar

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Cupcakes

FUJ

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it is aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a problem with cupcakes.

But, Fuming Fuji, you say, isn’t a miniature dessert now and then better than eating fast food all the time?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: For the love of all that is human, Fuji, a cupcake? A cupcake is a heartwarming treat in a sensible portion size. If you’re going to eat a dessert, this is the way to go!

The catch: A sensible portion compared to what? The Cheesecake Factory and its evil one-pound slice of cake? This does not make a cupcake smart. Yes, the Fuji grants that your cupcake is better than many things. A cake in a cup is, for example, much better than lard in a cup. But the Fuji must inform you that a little bit of bad compared to a lot of bad does not make the little bit of bad good. You are stunned.

The comeback: Huh? Look, no one is perfect, not even you, Fuji. Like I said, a cupcake is better than eating fast food all the time.

The conclusion: The Fuji cannot help you until you seek help for your disturbing obsession with this dessert in a cup. It is not even a real cup! But it is real sugar. I fume!

The catchphrase: Tiny tots need fruit, not fructose!

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji. Also, we have no issue with cups.

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  1. Why is a cake in a cup better than lard in a cup?

    Matt wrote on August 5th, 2009

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