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Let me introduce myself. My name is Mark Sisson. I’m 63 years young. I live and work in Malibu, California. In a past life I was a professional marathoner and triathlete. Now my life goal is to help 100 million people get healthy. I started this blog in 2006 to empower people to take full responsibility for their own health and enjoyment of life by investigating, discussing, and critically rethinking everything we’ve assumed to be true about health and wellness...

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February 08, 2007

The Sisson Spoof

By Mark Sisson
1 Comments

Diabetes goes portable!
Because Taco Bell already thought of the hexagon.

Introducing Crispy Cones, the new portable obesity device hitting food courts everywhere.

I have to admit I’m baffled by the Crispy Cone website. Usually new food products don’t try to make a claim of health if they are obviously junk (processed meat, cheese and empty carbs? Come on!!!). I can cut “borderline” healthy foods like veggie wraps and Cesar salads a break. At least Tacone wraps are better than burgers. But this product is just ridiculous. Crispy cones are basically pizza and tacos in new packaging. And what packaging – processed, hydrogenated bleached flour!

The makers rave about the convenience, and boy do they brag about the no-drip capability of their patented (ooooh) cone. They even point out that hand-held food is – yes – environmentally-friendly. Okay…

When did food stop being a meal and start being something we do while we’re doing other stuff? I’m constantly amazed at how people eat while on the phone, driving, even in meetings. A generation ago, it was considered a pretty horrifying display of bad manners to eat this way, but I guess it’s what we do now. It sure hasn’t made us healthier or slimmer.

The fact that Crispy Cones actually insist on the health of their product is what gets me most. The laugh you will get from the “Go Healthy” tab of the website is worth the click. If this is healthy, God help us!

TAGS:  Hype

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[…] a little fun every now and again by covering ludicrous processed food monstrosities. There was the pizza cone, the deep fried potato on a stick, the deep fried macaroni and cheese ball, the Oreo pizza, and the […]

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