Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.
13 Aug

Contest: Grokku!

beef pemmicanThe Prize:

Earlier this week US Wellness donated a 5 gallon bucket of fat as a prize (you’re not too late to enter that contest if you haven’t already). Today they’re giving away fresh, grass fed pemmican. It’s the original Eskimo energy bar, and US Wellness is pretty much the only place on the web you can find it. You can make your own, but I’m betting you’ll like US Wellness’ pemmican better. The winner will receive 6 bars of each flavor, original, honey and cherry free, and salt free (that’s 18 bars of meaty goodness). What do you have to do to win? Start counting your syllables…

The Contest:

It’s haiku time. To win the pemmican, leave a Primal Haiku – or “Grokku” – in the comments section of this post. What is a haiku? A haiku is a form of Japanese poetry containing 17 syllables. The haiku is broken down into 3 lines containing 5, 7, and 5 syllables (not words, syllables). They traditionally include a seasonal reference, though no need to be traditional to win. You’re good as long as you get the 5-7-5 thing right. If you’re still not sure what to do, check out these recession and zombie haiku.

Examples:

I hoisted a rock
Then ate a whole roast chicken
Slept like a baby

Chronic Cardio?
Sprinted, lifted, hiked instead.
Best shape of my life.

Chubby in Autumn
Went Primal in the Winter
Chiseled by Summer.

SlimFast, Jenny Craig,
Weight Watchers, and Healthy Choice
Can all kiss Grok’s @%#.

Eligibility:

This prize is only available to residents of the 48 contiguous states. [If you don’t live in the U.S. and you win I’ll ship you a bottle of my Master Formula instead, and the fat will go to an alternate winner.]

The Contest End Time:

August 13th, midnight.

How the Winner Will Be Determined:

I’ll pick my favorite. That’s the winner. But I’ll also post the top 10 on the results page.

To track all the contests visit The Primal Blueprint Health Challenge Contest Page for daily updates.

Visit The Primal Blueprint Health Challenge for challenge details.

You want comments? We got comments:

Imagine you’re George Clooney. Take a moment to admire your grooming and wit. Okay, now imagine someone walks up to you and asks, “What’s your name?” You say, “I’m George Clooney.” Or maybe you say, “I’m the Clooninator!” You don’t say “I’m George of George Clooney Sells Movies Blog” and you certainly don’t say, “I’m Clooney Weight Loss Plan”. So while spam is technically meat, it ain’t anywhere near Primal. Please nickname yourself something your friends would call you.

  1. Ditch the running shoes
    And all the processed junk food
    Get back to nature

    Andrew wrote on August 13th, 2009
  2. Excuses their tools
    I choose the Primal Blueprint
    Live life to your best

    Chunster495 wrote on August 13th, 2009
  3. built a homemade mace
    swings now make my muscles ache
    but this pain is good

    http://twitpic.com/cevyl – it’s a 13.5lb ball of concrete on the end of a post-hole digger handle. Fun!

    Chuck wrote on August 13th, 2009
  4. Eating primaly
    What would my ancestors do?
    Eat more meat I bet.

    SheRa wrote on August 13th, 2009
  5. 90 days Primal
    this life is the best for me!
    Can’t see going back

    Analee Thompson wrote on August 13th, 2009
  6. 3 o’clock slump nears
    Doesn’t phase me anymore
    I’m primal for life!

    Analee Thompson wrote on August 13th, 2009
  7. I’m very sorry
    My hunting skills are sub-par
    Hope you enjoy bugs

    Dave B wrote on August 13th, 2009
  8. Very sick before
    Seems primal cures everything
    Time to go live life

    Analee Thompson wrote on August 13th, 2009
  9. Heart pounding, I chase
    oh a hunting I will go
    sprint, jump, leap, spear, kill!

    Sprint like a gazelle
    go for 100 percent!
    I’m gasping for air…

    Friends will question this
    with a conventional plea
    Alas! We Grok On!

    Krista wrote on August 13th, 2009
  10. I’m having a warrior kind of day!

    awaken primal
    spirit flowing freely now
    predator, am prey no more

    Top of pyramid
    prey eat grain to live, not me
    I hunt, gather joy

    Licarrit wrote on August 13th, 2009
  11. Grok knew what was best
    he did learn it the hard way
    why did we forget?

    Wanna be like Grok?
    take Conventional Wisdom
    throw it out the door.

    lady_daraine wrote on August 13th, 2009
  12. #1 Eggs for breakfast? Check.
    Pemmican in pocket? Check.
    Ready for a walk.

    #2 Didn’t eat last night.
    Had cannibalistic dreams.
    I’m hungry. Feed me!

    dragonmamma wrote on August 13th, 2009
  13. Fishy, fishy in the brook,
    Daddy caught him on a hook,
    Mommy fried him in the pan,
    Baby ate him like a man.

    Joey wrote on August 13th, 2009
  14. Eat natural foods
    Such simple advice
    That WORKS, and I’m proof!

    Lisa Zawrotny wrote on August 13th, 2009
  15. A nation gets huge
    On low fat and high carb fare
    And I am crazy?

    A mind grows dimmer
    As the body grows weaker
    Does not have to be

    Rat on the treadmill
    Tells me that I don’t work hard
    I wish that he knew

    lcme wrote on August 13th, 2009
  16. Vibrams might seem strange
    As I walk down the street, but
    (g)rok for play in woods!

    Andy wrote on August 13th, 2009
  17. Underneath the bar
    Where we learn of what we’re made
    Squats begin with meat

    The economy
    Lives off your big healthcare bill
    I live off real food

    David wrote on August 13th, 2009
  18. The Primal Blueprint
    You really need to read it
    Instructions for life

    Scott wrote on August 13th, 2009
  19. Weak, slow and tubby
    Food and exercise primal
    Now strong, fast and trim!

    Dave, RN wrote on August 13th, 2009
  20. This is my first post! Woo! Hope you like my word-smithing…

    My sore, tired body.
    A slain boar makes a long walk.
    Let’s eat some bacon…

    or

    Behold, the masses.
    So fat; they look delicious.
    But they’re grain fed, bleh!

    Paul Gray wrote on August 13th, 2009
  21. Deadlifted a cow.
    Then I turned it into steaks
    And ate like a king.

    Jamie Fellrath wrote on August 13th, 2009
  22. Almond butter scoop
    For my bellie to lay in
    Is it snack time yet?

    leanbodynow wrote on August 13th, 2009
  23. Nature’s wisdom lights
    the way to strength and beauty,
    long lost gifts restored.

    Plato wrote on August 13th, 2009
  24. I’ll try another one…

    A country that’s sick?
    Adopt a Primal Lifestyle.
    That’s Healthcare Reform!

    Dave, RN wrote on August 13th, 2009
  25. Here’s another…

    The US could save
    Countless billions in healthcare
    If all were primal

    Dave, RN wrote on August 13th, 2009
  26. Humanity’s genes
    Ascribe to earlier times
    Ages of wisdom

    Our senses deceived
    By doughnuts, pasta, bread, grain
    There is always choice

    eyeshield9 wrote on August 13th, 2009
  27. Be fit and healthy
    food is fuel, put good stuff in
    Chicken again Mom?

    Shannon wrote on August 13th, 2009
  28. For healthy futures
    we need to look to our past
    and live like Grok did.

    Rob wrote on August 13th, 2009
  29. Twenty-four hour long fast
    Will eat tomorrow a cow
    Fresh is the best

    lfisher wrote on August 13th, 2009
  30. Post old me on wall
    Spring, Summer, Fall images
    Post new me to wall

    mcoz-09 wrote on August 13th, 2009
  31. Barefoot in the sun,
    Your future lies in your past.
    Become what you are.

    Geoff wrote on August 13th, 2009
  32. Living Primal means
    not looking for a shortcut
    to optimum health

    The Primal Blueprint:
    Conventional Wisdom out
    Uncommon sense in

    DaveFish wrote on August 13th, 2009
  33. Abdominal fat?
    Eat and exercise primal
    Watch it disappear!

    Dave, RN wrote on August 13th, 2009
  34. Walk. Play. Sprint. Lift. Sleep.
    The goal is to enjoy life.
    Eat veggies and meat.

    russ9663 wrote on August 13th, 2009
  35. Sprinting and lifting
    Grok can’t hunt on a treadmill
    Get outside and play!

    Mike wrote on August 13th, 2009
  36. Running barefoot now.
    Sun’s kiss makes vitamine D.
    Cherries are so sweet!

    Edna wrote on August 13th, 2009
  37. man living as grok
    defeats the grain overload
    health and wellness reign

    adam wrote on August 13th, 2009
  38. grok a long slow walk
    grok the grass-fed pastured talk
    grok grok’s primal grok

    (with apologies to Robert A. Heinlein)

    Andy wrote on August 13th, 2009
  39. Sprint, lift, hike, play, sleep;
    Earth’s succulent flesh, plants, nuts;
    Make me whole: Primal.

    jbr613 wrote on August 13th, 2009
  40. Bread, pasta: Begone!
    Walk a mile. Eat a camel.
    Love handles vanish.

    jbr613 wrote on August 13th, 2009

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