Contest: Grokku!
The Prize:
Earlier this week US Wellness donated a 5 gallon bucket of fat as a prize (you’re not too late to enter that contest if you haven’t already). Today they’re giving away fresh, grass fed pemmican. It’s the original Eskimo energy bar, and US Wellness is pretty much the only place on the web you can find it. You can make your own, but I’m betting you’ll like US Wellness’ pemmican better. The winner will receive 6 bars of each flavor, original, honey and cherry free, and salt free (that’s 18 bars of meaty goodness). What do you have to do to win? Start counting your syllables…
The Contest:
It’s haiku time. To win the pemmican, leave a Primal Haiku – or “Grokku” – in the comments section of this post. What is a haiku? A haiku is a form of Japanese poetry containing 17 syllables. The haiku is broken down into 3 lines containing 5, 7, and 5 syllables (not words, syllables). They traditionally include a seasonal reference, though no need to be traditional to win. You’re good as long as you get the 5-7-5 thing right. If you’re still not sure what to do, check out these recession and zombie haiku.
Examples:
I hoisted a rock
Then ate a whole roast chicken
Slept like a baby
Chronic Cardio?
Sprinted, lifted, hiked instead.
Best shape of my life.
Chubby in Autumn
Went Primal in the Winter
Chiseled by Summer.
SlimFast, Jenny Craig,
Weight Watchers, and Healthy Choice
Can all kiss Grok’s @%#.
Eligibility:
This prize is only available to residents of the 48 contiguous states. [If you don’t live in the U.S. and you win I’ll ship you a bottle of my Master Formula instead, and the fat will go to an alternate winner.]
The Contest End Time:
August 13th, midnight.
How the Winner Will Be Determined:
I’ll pick my favorite. That’s the winner. But I’ll also post the top 10 on the results page.
To track all the contests visit The Primal Blueprint Health Challenge Contest Page for daily updates.
Visit The Primal Blueprint Health Challenge for challenge details.
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Posted By: Mark Sisson
Ditch all sugar, hon
Ditch all grains and starches, too
Eat meat, veggies, fruit!
Pemmican and fat
Fed Lewis and Clark all year
That’s PRIMAL living!
Korg was I in Spring
The Primal Blueprint at last
Inner Grok unleashed
Grok is the Greatest
Example of Living Life;
Grok on Everyone!
Ran barefoot today
People looked and gawked in shock
I’ll wear clothes next time.
HAHAHA this is awesome.
Way to go Steve! Very very funny!
I went for a sprint
Then I skipped breakfast today
Energy to spare
Eat meat for breakfast
Get in some exercise too
Life will be groovy
Hike, sprint, lift, and eat
Healthy and fresh. What’s that you
ask? Primal, baby!
Another:
Primal health, fitness,
Good food, even Ultimate
Frisbee?! That’s our Mark!
One more:
No grains, or sugar,
Lots of saturated fat.
Weird? Yes. SAD? Hell no!
Your primal body
Made forty thousand years past
Twinkies, yesterday
Lawn mowing to start
Then had some bacon and eggs
Won’t eat again ’til night
Lift Heavy, Move Slow
Whole, Natural Foods. No grains!
Primal Blueprint Rocks!
Grok and Groketta
Eat pemmican all the time
Please let us win this.
here is another
Vibrams I love thee
How dare they call you goofy
Freed my toes greatly
Run, jump, throw a rock;
Barefoot’s the best way to walk.
Life’s best lived like Grok!
Pasta? Donuts? Yum!
But then I see my rear end.
Meat’s my new best friend.
Eat clean, Lift heavy,
Old school is best, but I sure
could use (VFF’s) Five Fingers.
I used to eat junk.
Grok showed me how they were bunk.
No more in MY trunk!
(whoops – forgot to delete a chunk out of #3, there…
Grok ate pemmican
What works for Grok works for me
Grain and sugar free
Slosh tube, sledgehammer, tire
No gym membership required
Can afford whole foods
Live like a caveman
Evolved to eat meat and plants
But no bugs for me!
or
Never moved before
Bookworm I, stagnant and slow
Now I run and play
or
I climbed a mountain
I work my muscles and brain
My body triumphs!
I couldn’t pick a favorite so:
The contemplative:
endless options now
so much to explore in life
primal paved the way
The advertisement:
barefoot through the grass
walking, sprinting, and playing
Vibram Five Fingers
The brown nose:
Mark’s Daily Apple
too much good information
must go play outside!
The ridiculous:
dogs like primal too
raw meat makes them feel like wolves
even chihuahuas
I love the last one… the image of a chihuahua feeling like a wolf after eating a tiny chicken wing or whatever meat chihuahuas would eat… awesome.
Ha, thanks! They would just die if I gave them chicken wings…that would be very entertaining.
Fresh air, Grokercise
Meat, oil, veggies, fruit and nuts
Everlasting love
I cut out all grains
They were the foods that I liked
Now I like all food.
In dreams saw a cow
went outside and took a bite
mmmm, grass fed goodness
HAHAHAA did you really have this dream? So awesome.
My dreams are odd too…
I see buffalo,
Summer brings its tasty death
inside my stomach.
Are these hands my own?
Dermatitis is no more
Thanks to grain-free life.
I lift heavy things
I do not eat processed grains
down thirty-five pounds
They think we’re crazy
Cutting carbs and cardio
We’ll outlive them all
In this fast paced world
Step back, return to your roots
Find your inner Grok
How to be healthy?
Lift heavy, run fast, eat whole
Embrace Primal life!
Eat only REAL food
Do not workout every day
Screw CW
The world is changing
my family will survive
we live off the land
Sprinting for my food
Lifting heavy for my home
Playing for my health
Man gains only fat
When he (most intelligent?)
Forgets what Grok knew.