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Let me introduce myself. My name is Mark Sisson. I’m 63 years young. I live and work in Malibu, California. In a past life I was a professional marathoner and triathlete. Now my life goal is to help 100 million people get healthy. I started this blog in 2006 to empower people to take full responsibility for their own health and enjoyment of life by investigating, discussing, and critically rethinking everything we’ve assumed to be true about health and wellness...

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August 13, 2009

Contest: Grokku!

By Mark Sisson
231 Comments

The Prize:

Earlier this week US Wellness donated a 5 gallon bucket of fat as a prize (you’re not too late to enter that contest if you haven’t already). Today they’re giving away fresh, grass fed pemmican. It’s the original Eskimo energy bar, and US Wellness is pretty much the only place on the web you can find it. You can make your own, but I’m betting you’ll like US Wellness’ pemmican better. The winner will receive 6 bars of each flavor, original, honey and cherry free, and salt free (that’s 18 bars of meaty goodness). What do you have to do to win? Start counting your syllables…

The Contest:

It’s haiku time. To win the pemmican, leave a Primal Haiku – or “Grokku” – in the comments section of this post. What is a haiku? A haiku is a form of Japanese poetry containing 17 syllables. The haiku is broken down into 3 lines containing 5, 7, and 5 syllables (not words, syllables). They traditionally include a seasonal reference, though no need to be traditional to win. You’re good as long as you get the 5-7-5 thing right. If you’re still not sure what to do, check out these recession and zombie haiku.

Examples:

I hoisted a rock
Then ate a whole roast chicken
Slept like a baby

Chronic Cardio?
Sprinted, lifted, hiked instead.
Best shape of my life.

Chubby in Autumn
Went Primal in the Winter
Chiseled by Summer.

SlimFast, Jenny Craig,
Weight Watchers, and Healthy Choice
Can all kiss Grok’s @%#.

Eligibility:

This prize is only available to residents of the 48 contiguous states. [If you don’t live in the U.S. and you win I’ll ship you a bottle of my Master Formula instead, and the fat will go to an alternate winner.]

The Contest End Time:

August 13th, midnight.

How the Winner Will Be Determined:

I’ll pick my favorite. That’s the winner. But I’ll also post the top 10 on the results page.

To track all the contests visit The Primal Blueprint Health Challenge Contest Page for daily updates.

Visit The Primal Blueprint Health Challenge for challenge details.

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231 Comments on "Contest: Grokku!"

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BestSelf
BestSelf
7 years 1 month ago

Ditch all sugar, hon
Ditch all grains and starches, too
Eat meat, veggies, fruit!

Rodney
Rodney
7 years 1 month ago

Pemmican and fat
Fed Lewis and Clark all year
That’s PRIMAL living!

SullynNH
7 years 1 month ago

Korg was I in Spring
The Primal Blueprint at last
Inner Grok unleashed

Ben Owen
Ben Owen
7 years 1 month ago

Grok is the Greatest
Example of Living Life;
Grok on Everyone!

Steve Adams
7 years 1 month ago

Ran barefoot today
People looked and gawked in shock
I’ll wear clothes next time.

FlyNavyWife
7 years 1 month ago

HAHAHA this is awesome.

fritchbeetle
7 years 1 month ago

Way to go Steve! Very very funny! 🙂

MDS
MDS
7 years 1 month ago

I went for a sprint
Then I skipped breakfast today
Energy to spare

Carla
Carla
7 years 1 month ago

Eat meat for breakfast
Get in some exercise too
Life will be groovy

FunkadelicFlash
FunkadelicFlash
7 years 1 month ago

Hike, sprint, lift, and eat
Healthy and fresh. What’s that you
ask? Primal, baby!

Another:

Primal health, fitness,
Good food, even Ultimate
Frisbee?! That’s our Mark!

One more:

No grains, or sugar,
Lots of saturated fat.
Weird? Yes. SAD? Hell no!

Primalchild
Primalchild
7 years 1 month ago

Your primal body
Made forty thousand years past
Twinkies, yesterday

Angela in NE
Angela in NE
7 years 1 month ago

Lawn mowing to start
Then had some bacon and eggs
Won’t eat again ’til night

DaveFish
DaveFish
7 years 1 month ago

Lift Heavy, Move Slow
Whole, Natural Foods. No grains!
Primal Blueprint Rocks!

Jenny
Jenny
7 years 1 month ago

Grok and Groketta
Eat pemmican all the time
Please let us win this.

here is another

Vibrams I love thee
How dare they call you goofy
Freed my toes greatly

Adam Kayce
7 years 1 month ago

Run, jump, throw a rock;
Barefoot’s the best way to walk.
Life’s best lived like Grok!

Pasta? Donuts? Yum!
But then I see my rear end.
Meat’s my new best friend.

Eat clean, Lift heavy,
Old school is best, but I sure
could use (VFF’s) Five Fingers.

I used to eat junk.
Grok showed me how they were bunk.
No more in MY trunk!

Adam Kayce
7 years 1 month ago

(whoops – forgot to delete a chunk out of #3, there…

steve
steve
7 years 1 month ago

Grok ate pemmican
What works for Grok works for me
Grain and sugar free

DaveFish
DaveFish
7 years 1 month ago

Slosh tube, sledgehammer, tire
No gym membership required
Can afford whole foods

Melissa
Melissa
7 years 1 month ago

Live like a caveman
Evolved to eat meat and plants
But no bugs for me!

or

Never moved before
Bookworm I, stagnant and slow
Now I run and play

or

I climbed a mountain
I work my muscles and brain
My body triumphs!

hannahc
hannahc
7 years 1 month ago

I couldn’t pick a favorite so:

The contemplative:
endless options now
so much to explore in life
primal paved the way

The advertisement:
barefoot through the grass
walking, sprinting, and playing
Vibram Five Fingers

The brown nose:
Mark’s Daily Apple
too much good information
must go play outside!

The ridiculous:
dogs like primal too
raw meat makes them feel like wolves
even chihuahuas

FlyNavyWife
7 years 1 month ago

I love the last one… the image of a chihuahua feeling like a wolf after eating a tiny chicken wing or whatever meat chihuahuas would eat… awesome.

hannahc
hannahc
7 years 1 month ago

Ha, thanks! They would just die if I gave them chicken wings…that would be very entertaining.

Catalina
Catalina
7 years 1 month ago

Fresh air, Grokercise
Meat, oil, veggies, fruit and nuts
Everlasting love

James17
James17
7 years 1 month ago

I cut out all grains
They were the foods that I liked
Now I like all food. 🙂

PrimalJewishAmericanPrincess
PrimalJewishAmericanPrincess
7 years 1 month ago

In dreams saw a cow
went outside and took a bite
mmmm, grass fed goodness

FlyNavyWife
7 years 1 month ago

HAHAHAA did you really have this dream? So awesome.
My dreams are odd too…

kxf685gone
kxf685gone
7 years 1 month ago

I see buffalo,
Summer brings its tasty death
inside my stomach.

Matt
Matt
7 years 1 month ago

Are these hands my own?
Dermatitis is no more
Thanks to grain-free life.

James
James
7 years 1 month ago

I lift heavy things
I do not eat processed grains
down thirty-five pounds

Indiscreet
Indiscreet
7 years 1 month ago

They think we’re crazy
Cutting carbs and cardio
We’ll outlive them all

Chris
Chris
7 years 1 month ago

In this fast paced world
Step back, return to your roots
Find your inner Grok

How to be healthy?
Lift heavy, run fast, eat whole
Embrace Primal life!

Will
Will
7 years 1 month ago

Eat only REAL food
Do not workout every day
Screw CW

James
James
7 years 1 month ago

The world is changing
my family will survive
we live off the land

Clint
Clint
7 years 1 month ago

Sprinting for my food
Lifting heavy for my home
Playing for my health

BarbeyGirl
7 years 1 month ago

Man gains only fat
When he (most intelligent?)
Forgets what Grok knew.

James
James
7 years 1 month ago

I enjoy my life
will rock out with my grok out
make sure that you play!

James
James
7 years 1 month ago

hit wife over head
I don’t think that she liked it
please bring me more beef!

JustinKN
JustinKN
7 years 1 month ago

On the wind a shout
The barbarian strikes down
Brings home his bounty

James
James
7 years 1 month ago

vibram five fingers
I feel the universe move
my piglets thank you!

Tamara
7 years 1 month ago

Better way to live
Just go back two million years
Ancestors knew best

Maahier
Maahier
7 years 1 month ago

Death to potatoes
Rather eggs and tomatoes
Lose the utensils

James
James
7 years 1 month ago

I love pemmican
beef tallow if good for you
I love to eat fish

James
James
7 years 1 month ago

I am primal Jim
I wake up with the rooster
My life is complete

redforevergone
redforevergone
7 years 1 month ago

let grok shine through you
starch and grains only feed pain
burning fat right now

Dean
7 years 1 month ago

My first name is Grok
Know this guy his name is Korg
He’s fat and looks old

Andrew
Andrew
7 years 1 month ago

Ditch the running shoes
And all the processed junk food
Get back to nature

Chunster495
Chunster495
7 years 1 month ago

Excuses their tools
I choose the Primal Blueprint
Live life to your best

Chuck
Chuck
7 years 1 month ago

built a homemade mace
swings now make my muscles ache
but this pain is good

http://twitpic.com/cevyl – it’s a 13.5lb ball of concrete on the end of a post-hole digger handle. Fun!

SheRa
SheRa
7 years 1 month ago

Eating primaly
What would my ancestors do?
Eat more meat I bet.

Analee Thompson
Analee Thompson
7 years 1 month ago

90 days Primal
this life is the best for me!
Can’t see going back

Analee Thompson
Analee Thompson
7 years 1 month ago

3 o’clock slump nears
Doesn’t phase me anymore
I’m primal for life!

Dave B
Dave B
7 years 1 month ago

I’m very sorry
My hunting skills are sub-par
Hope you enjoy bugs

FlyNavyWife
7 years 1 month ago

oh man, you cracked me up!

Analee Thompson
Analee Thompson
7 years 1 month ago

Very sick before
Seems primal cures everything
Time to go live life

Krista
Krista
7 years 1 month ago

Heart pounding, I chase
oh a hunting I will go
sprint, jump, leap, spear, kill!

Sprint like a gazelle
go for 100 percent!
I’m gasping for air…

Friends will question this
with a conventional plea
Alas! We Grok On!

Licarrit
Licarrit
7 years 1 month ago

I’m having a warrior kind of day!

awaken primal
spirit flowing freely now
predator, am prey no more

Top of pyramid
prey eat grain to live, not me
I hunt, gather joy

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