Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.
13 Aug

Contest: Grokku!

beef pemmicanThe Prize:

Earlier this week US Wellness donated a 5 gallon bucket of fat as a prize (you’re not too late to enter that contest if you haven’t already). Today they’re giving away fresh, grass fed pemmican. It’s the original Eskimo energy bar, and US Wellness is pretty much the only place on the web you can find it. You can make your own, but I’m betting you’ll like US Wellness’ pemmican better. The winner will receive 6 bars of each flavor, original, honey and cherry free, and salt free (that’s 18 bars of meaty goodness). What do you have to do to win? Start counting your syllables…

The Contest:

It’s haiku time. To win the pemmican, leave a Primal Haiku – or “Grokku” – in the comments section of this post. What is a haiku? A haiku is a form of Japanese poetry containing 17 syllables. The haiku is broken down into 3 lines containing 5, 7, and 5 syllables (not words, syllables). They traditionally include a seasonal reference, though no need to be traditional to win. You’re good as long as you get the 5-7-5 thing right. If you’re still not sure what to do, check out these recession and zombie haiku.

Examples:

I hoisted a rock
Then ate a whole roast chicken
Slept like a baby

Chronic Cardio?
Sprinted, lifted, hiked instead.
Best shape of my life.

Chubby in Autumn
Went Primal in the Winter
Chiseled by Summer.

SlimFast, Jenny Craig,
Weight Watchers, and Healthy Choice
Can all kiss Grok’s @%#.

Eligibility:

This prize is only available to residents of the 48 contiguous states. [If you don’t live in the U.S. and you win I’ll ship you a bottle of my Master Formula instead, and the fat will go to an alternate winner.]

The Contest End Time:

August 13th, midnight.

How the Winner Will Be Determined:

I’ll pick my favorite. That’s the winner. But I’ll also post the top 10 on the results page.

To track all the contests visit The Primal Blueprint Health Challenge Contest Page for daily updates.

Visit The Primal Blueprint Health Challenge for challenge details.

You want comments? We got comments:

Imagine you’re George Clooney. Take a moment to admire your grooming and wit. Okay, now imagine someone walks up to you and asks, “What’s your name?” You say, “I’m George Clooney.” Or maybe you say, “I’m the Clooninator!” You don’t say “I’m George of George Clooney Sells Movies Blog” and you certainly don’t say, “I’m Clooney Weight Loss Plan”. So while spam is technically meat, it ain’t anywhere near Primal. Please nickname yourself something your friends would call you.

  1. Ditch all sugar, hon
    Ditch all grains and starches, too
    Eat meat, veggies, fruit!

    BestLife wrote on August 13th, 2009
  2. Pemmican and fat
    Fed Lewis and Clark all year
    That’s PRIMAL living!

    Rodney wrote on August 13th, 2009
  3. Korg was I in Spring
    The Primal Blueprint at last
    Inner Grok unleashed

    SullynNH wrote on August 13th, 2009
  4. Grok is the Greatest
    Example of Living Life;
    Grok on Everyone!

    Ben Owen wrote on August 13th, 2009
  5. Ran barefoot today
    People looked and gawked in shock
    I’ll wear clothes next time.

    Steve Adams wrote on August 13th, 2009
  6. I went for a sprint
    Then I skipped breakfast today
    Energy to spare

    MDS wrote on August 13th, 2009
  7. Eat meat for breakfast
    Get in some exercise too
    Life will be groovy

    Carla wrote on August 13th, 2009
  8. Hike, sprint, lift, and eat
    Healthy and fresh. What’s that you
    ask? Primal, baby!

    Another:

    Primal health, fitness,
    Good food, even Ultimate
    Frisbee?! That’s our Mark!

    One more:

    No grains, or sugar,
    Lots of saturated fat.
    Weird? Yes. SAD? Hell no!

    FunkadelicFlash wrote on August 13th, 2009
  9. Your primal body
    Made forty thousand years past
    Twinkies, yesterday

    Primalchild wrote on August 13th, 2009
  10. Lawn mowing to start
    Then had some bacon and eggs
    Won’t eat again ’til night

    Angela in NE wrote on August 13th, 2009
  11. Lift Heavy, Move Slow
    Whole, Natural Foods. No grains!
    Primal Blueprint Rocks!

    DaveFish wrote on August 13th, 2009
  12. Grok and Groketta
    Eat pemmican all the time
    Please let us win this.

    here is another

    Vibrams I love thee
    How dare they call you goofy
    Freed my toes greatly

    Jenny wrote on August 13th, 2009
  13. Run, jump, throw a rock;
    Barefoot’s the best way to walk.
    Life’s best lived like Grok!

    Pasta? Donuts? Yum!
    But then I see my rear end.
    Meat’s my new best friend.

    Eat clean, Lift heavy,
    Old school is best, but I sure
    could use (VFF’s) Five Fingers.

    I used to eat junk.
    Grok showed me how they were bunk.
    No more in MY trunk!

    Adam Kayce wrote on August 13th, 2009
  14. (whoops – forgot to delete a chunk out of #3, there…

    Adam Kayce wrote on August 13th, 2009
  15. Grok ate pemmican
    What works for Grok works for me
    Grain and sugar free

    steve wrote on August 13th, 2009
  16. Slosh tube, sledgehammer, tire
    No gym membership required
    Can afford whole foods

    DaveFish wrote on August 13th, 2009
  17. Live like a caveman
    Evolved to eat meat and plants
    But no bugs for me!

    or

    Never moved before
    Bookworm I, stagnant and slow
    Now I run and play

    or

    I climbed a mountain
    I work my muscles and brain
    My body triumphs!

    Melissa wrote on August 13th, 2009
  18. I couldn’t pick a favorite so:

    The contemplative:
    endless options now
    so much to explore in life
    primal paved the way

    The advertisement:
    barefoot through the grass
    walking, sprinting, and playing
    Vibram Five Fingers

    The brown nose:
    Mark’s Daily Apple
    too much good information
    must go play outside!

    The ridiculous:
    dogs like primal too
    raw meat makes them feel like wolves
    even chihuahuas

    hannahc wrote on August 13th, 2009
    • I love the last one… the image of a chihuahua feeling like a wolf after eating a tiny chicken wing or whatever meat chihuahuas would eat… awesome.

      FlyNavyWife wrote on August 13th, 2009
      • Ha, thanks! They would just die if I gave them chicken wings…that would be very entertaining.

        hannahc wrote on August 14th, 2009
  19. Fresh air, Grokercise
    Meat, oil, veggies, fruit and nuts
    Everlasting love

    Catalina wrote on August 13th, 2009
  20. I cut out all grains
    They were the foods that I liked
    Now I like all food. :)

    James17 wrote on August 13th, 2009
  21. In dreams saw a cow
    went outside and took a bite
    mmmm, grass fed goodness

    PrimalJewishAmericanPrincess wrote on August 13th, 2009
    • HAHAHAA did you really have this dream? So awesome.
      My dreams are odd too…

      FlyNavyWife wrote on August 13th, 2009
  22. I see buffalo,
    Summer brings its tasty death
    inside my stomach.

    kxf685gone wrote on August 13th, 2009
  23. Are these hands my own?
    Dermatitis is no more
    Thanks to grain-free life.

    Matt wrote on August 13th, 2009
  24. I lift heavy things
    I do not eat processed grains
    down thirty-five pounds

    James wrote on August 13th, 2009
  25. They think we’re crazy
    Cutting carbs and cardio
    We’ll outlive them all

    Indiscreet wrote on August 13th, 2009
  26. In this fast paced world
    Step back, return to your roots
    Find your inner Grok

    How to be healthy?
    Lift heavy, run fast, eat whole
    Embrace Primal life!

    Chris wrote on August 13th, 2009
  27. Eat only REAL food
    Do not workout every day
    Screw CW

    Will wrote on August 13th, 2009
  28. The world is changing
    my family will survive
    we live off the land

    James wrote on August 13th, 2009
  29. Sprinting for my food
    Lifting heavy for my home
    Playing for my health

    Clint wrote on August 13th, 2009
  30. Man gains only fat
    When he (most intelligent?)
    Forgets what Grok knew.

    BarbeyGirl wrote on August 13th, 2009
  31. I enjoy my life
    will rock out with my grok out
    make sure that you play!

    James wrote on August 13th, 2009
  32. hit wife over head
    I don’t think that she liked it
    please bring me more beef!

    James wrote on August 13th, 2009
  33. On the wind a shout
    The barbarian strikes down
    Brings home his bounty

    JustinKN wrote on August 13th, 2009
  34. vibram five fingers
    I feel the universe move
    my piglets thank you!

    James wrote on August 13th, 2009
  35. Better way to live
    Just go back two million years
    Ancestors knew best

    Tamara wrote on August 13th, 2009
  36. Death to potatoes
    Rather eggs and tomatoes
    Lose the utensils

    Maahier wrote on August 13th, 2009
  37. I love pemmican
    beef tallow if good for you
    I love to eat fish

    James wrote on August 13th, 2009
  38. I am primal Jim
    I wake up with the rooster
    My life is complete

    James wrote on August 13th, 2009
  39. let grok shine through you
    starch and grains only feed pain
    burning fat right now

    redforevergone wrote on August 13th, 2009
  40. My first name is Grok
    Know this guy his name is Korg
    He’s fat and looks old

    Dean wrote on August 13th, 2009

Leave a Reply

If you'd like to add an avatar to all of your comments click here!

© 2014 Mark's Daily Apple

Subscribe to the Newsletter and Get a Free Copy
of Mark Sisson's Fitness eBook and more!