The Farting Sweating Wheezing Depressing Exhausting Disease-Inducing Life-Sucking So You Can Be Thin Again Medicine
FRIENDS LET FRIENDS GET FAT
They say obesity is contagious now. (It’s all over the news.) Leading thinkers talk about idea viruses and memes in everything from marketing to sociology to DNA to evolution, so it was only a matter of time before the health industry chimed in. Obesity, we’re being told, is contagious, just like the common cold. If you spend your time with overweight people, you’re likely to “catch” obesity.
I’m not really certain what the take-away message is here. Shun fat friends? I can’t decide if this is a case of Captain Obvious – no kidding we’re like the people we spend time with – or if it’s a cop-out for taking personal responsibility. And as a fellow Angeleno said, since we now face such high rates of second-hand obesity, we’re just a city council vote away from “obese” and “thin” sections in restaurants. Can I sue if I get fat because my friends have “caught” obesity?
To wit: the Nyquil solution to obesity.
I can envision the commercials now. Our bulbous buddy tosses and turns all night, but darn it all, that stomach roll just won’t allow for proper sleeping comfort. Climbing a flight of stairs, our fellow infected friend wheezes in exasperation – man, I caught obesity again! There are over two hundred types of the common cold. Who knows how many types of obesity there are! With today’s busy lifestyle and hectic pace, you need to get back to your life, and finding a new circle of friends is just too time-consuming. We understand. Fortunately, there’s a soothing medication available to you at the corner drugstore.
Obesiquid. For all your panting, heaving, tossing, turning, draining, depressing, exhausting, so-you-can-get-thin-again needs.
Further reading:
Subscribe to Mark’s Daily Apple feeds
Posted By: Mark Sisson
(
That’s what happened to me, alright. Obese aliens abducted me in their Giant Deep-Fried Twinkie Space Ship and performed experiments and transfusions. They used replacement pods on friends and family members. Now, I too, am Obese.
Even though I am now trying to recover my primal roots by eating properly, taking supplements, and exercising; I am as ostracized like my brethren, smokers, to small, outlined, eating/smoking zones at restaurants and bars. Ridiculed and stereotyped by the Main Stream Media and members-in-good-standing of the Paris Hilton/Nicole Ritchie/Lindsey Lohan clans.
Pull up a seat, I am right there with yuh!!
Obesity is contagious if you give into pure pressure. If I hang around smart people, am I going to catch it? Maybe…
I am quite the opposite. I am a member in good standing of the Paris/Nicole Ritchie/Lindsay Lohan clan, and I have taken on the burden of gaining an extra 400 pounds so my group of friends is collectively the correct, healthy weight.
Let’s get one thing straight. Fat mice are sad. Unless it’s a buddy mouse who gets all the good quips.
McFly…hilarious!
Bradford, what would we do without you?
Idea viruses? This is truly a scary thought. It was once thought that pure laziness was the cause of obesity. I think we can see now that so many things contribute to obesity. Not withstanding hereditary factors as well as lifestyle choices.
“CATCH” Obesity??? Don’t catch it, let it fly on by! …L.O.L.
hi i enjoyed the read