30
January
2007

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Cocoa Puffs Milk ‘n Cereal Bars

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I Fume!

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with Cocoa Puffs Milk ‘n Cereal Bars.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t breakfast the most important meal of the day?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Cocoa Puffs Milk ‘n Cereal Bars are a great way to make sure your youngsters get breakfast, even on the go!

The catch: Tiny tots are better off skipping breakfast than eating this crunch block of evil. This “breakfast” is only a candy bar. Also, it is ugly, and one should not feed ugly food to children.

The comeback: Isn’t that discriminatory? Besides, Fuming Fuji, the box says “the nutrition of a bowl of cereal with milk“! Milk, Fuji! Milk!

The conclusion: The Fuji does not need you to shout. If you want to call gummified frosting “milk”, that is not the problem of the Fuji. It is hard to make milk even more unhealthy, but Cocoa Puffs has triumphed.

The catchphrase: Do not feed these petrified sugar sandwiches to your child! Maybe that neighbor kid, though.

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji. Mostly.

Lies the Man Feeds You

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1 comment

  1. Mark’s Daily Apple » Blog Archive » A Rare Interview with the Fuming Fuji:
  2. [...] Oh, Fuji grows weary of it all. To be honest, some days I lose my juice. That is never pretty, I can tell you. Most children’s snacks are death nuggets. They are either Blunder Tonic chemical baths or corn syrup sugar biscuits. Even the fruit added into such products as breakfast cereals is - [...]