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Let me introduce myself. My name is Mark Sisson. I’m 63 years young. I live and work in Malibu, California. In a past life I was a professional marathoner and triathlete. Now my life goal is to help 100 million people get healthy. I started this blog in 2006 to empower people to take full responsibility for their own health and enjoyment of life by investigating, discussing, and critically rethinking everything we’ve assumed to be true about health and wellness...

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January 30, 2007

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Cocoa Puffs Milk ‘n Cereal Bars

By Worker Bee
1 Comments

I Fume!

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with Cocoa Puffs Milk ‘n Cereal Bars.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t breakfast the most important meal of the day?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Cocoa Puffs Milk ‘n Cereal Bars are a great way to make sure your youngsters get breakfast, even on the go!

The catch: Tiny tots are better off skipping breakfast than eating this crunch block of evil. This “breakfast” is only a candy bar. Also, it is ugly, and one should not feed ugly food to children.

The comeback: Isn’t that discriminatory? Besides, Fuming Fuji, the box says “the nutrition of a bowl of cereal with milk“! Milk, Fuji! Milk!

The conclusion: The Fuji does not need you to shout. If you want to call gummified frosting “milk”, that is not the problem of the Fuji. It is hard to make milk even more unhealthy, but Cocoa Puffs has triumphed.

The catchphrase: Do not feed these petrified sugar sandwiches to your child! Maybe that neighbor kid, though.

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji. Mostly.

Lies the Man Feeds You

[tags]children’s health, cocoa puffs, cereal bars, breakfast[/tags]

TAGS:  humor

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