Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.
15 Feb

The Sisson Spoof

Cereality: doing our part to make diabetes a national pastime.

cereal

Folks are raving about the “genius” of Cereality (thanks, Donny Deutsch), a chain of bars for grownups that lets them access their “inner child” again. Hey, when cocktails get old, I guess people need new ways to flood their body with lethal amounts of sugar.

The cereality of life may be fun – temporarily – but sooner or later, we have to get back to being grownups. I think a certain amount of play is healthy for adults, especially in our modern, fast-paced society. But I’m pretty disgusted by the simultaneous jading of youngsters and infantilization of adults going on everywhere you look. We are a nation of instant gratification addicts. It’s not just in health – baby boomers haven’t saved for retirement, fashion’s latest trends feature women looking like pigeon-toed little girls, and the general trend of commercials for both fast food and household items is to make grown men look like five-year-olds. Men hiding from mouthwash because it doesn’t taste good? Come on! I don’t want a mother, I want a wife, and I don’t want a bowl of Lucky Charms, either. I’ve got a family to care for and suspending reality for cereality isn’t the way to do it. I’ll pass on the obesity and diabetes, thanks. How about you?

In reality, relying on refined sugar – particularly at the beginning of your day – is an excellent way to tax your body’s insulin response and pave the way for diabetes so you can harm yourself and everyone you love. But in cereality, it’s all good fun!

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