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Archive for the ‘ The Fuming Fuji ’ Category

28 Nov

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Chocolate Milk!

FUJ

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with chocolate milk.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t chocolate milk sometimes the only way to get calcium in a kid?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Chocolate milk has all the protein, calcium and vitamins of regular milk, and kids love it!

The catch: Chocolate milk has all the protein, calcium and vitamins of regular milk, plus it’s full of sugar!

The comeback: So it has a little sweetening. At least it’s getting kids to drink their milk, right?

The conclusion:
The Fuming Fuji cannot help those who believe in glorified dessert for tiny tots. Chocolate milk is a very mean thing to give your child. Milk is also mean, though admittedly not as delicious. Chocolate milk: all the fat, hormones and antibiotics of regular milk, plus sugar!

The catchphrase: Cow’s milk is for baby cows. Chocolate cow’s milk is for fat baby cows.

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.

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21 Nov

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Popcorn Shrimp!

FUJ

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with popcorn shrimp.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t popcorn shrimp rich in protein? I thought seafood was healthy! Aren’t we supposed to eat more fish?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Shrimp are a low-fat, high-protein food, and we all know seafood is very good for you. So what’s a little bit of breading?

The catch: Popcorn shrimp are breaded in a chemical-bleached-flour concoction. Next, they are fried in trans-fats. Also, shrimp are disgusting.

The comeback: But Fuming Fuji, isn’t a little fat okay? It’s better than fried chicken, right?

The conclusion:
Shrimp are very bad for you, especially when dipped in a sugary mess of flour and deep-fried. Shrimp are not your friends. They are not fish. They are sea-bugs.

The catchphrase: Do not eat fried bugs of the sea!

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.

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15 Nov

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Donuts

FUJ

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with donuts.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t a donut now and then an OK treat – it’s better than a candy bar, right?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Donuts are a delicious, homespun pastry made from mostly flour and good feelings, so they’re not as bad as candy.

The catch: Donuts are an empty, machine-made free-radical fest made from sugar and fat, so they are actually the worst food on the planet.

The comeback: But Fuming Fuji, they’re bread! How can they be so bad?

The conclusion: Donuts are a mixture of equal parts sugar (bleached) and fat (usually lard). Then, they are fried. In fat.

The catchphrase: If you eat donuts you are nuts.

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.

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6 Nov

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Yogurt!

fuji

The Fuming Fuji is outraged by the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with yogurt.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t yogurt healthy in its wonderful bland creaminess?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Yogurt is a great way to get a serving of dairy, which we all know is full of lovely calcium, protein, and vitamins.

The catch:
Yogurt is a great way to get a serving of gelatinous goop, which is actually full of sugar, antibiotics, hormones, chemicals, dyes, artificial flavors, and probably pus.

The comeback: But Fuming Fuji, yogurt contains healthful cultures like acidophilus bifidus.

The conclusion: Yogurt still has as much sugar as a Coca-Cola. Yogurt makers do not have to prove how much of so-called beneficial bacteria is in actual product. You need a lot more than they include. You can get more culture from a Steven Seagal movie. Yogurt is glorified dessert.

The catchphrase: Yogurt? Nogurt!

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.

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