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As many of you know, the Fuming Fuji was MDA founding editor Sara Ost’s fiery alter ego. Though Sara has moved on to other projects, the spirit of the Fuji fights on here at MDA.
The Fuming Fuji has decided to rear his seething head and once again grace you all with his presence and supreme wisdom. The Fuji rather enjoyed his self-selected hiatus, choosing to fume in the comfort of unspecified locations. (He likes to come and go as he pleases, you understand.) But as of late there are simply too many things that infuriate the Fuji beyond all reason and hope of sanity. They must be shared regardless of the cost to Fuji’s convenience. This fact only makes the Fuji more incensed.
This week the Fuming Fuji has chosen to have a serious problem with Wii Sports and other such “exercise” video games.
Posted By: Worker Bee
The Fuming Fuji does not know what to do, but it rhymes with dexplode. What is this product of unspeakable sugarness? Fuji is baffled. This is a very difficult thing, to baffle a genius.
Posted By: Worker Bee
Dragging their buns far behind the rest of the junk food giants in the compliance arena, Burger King is introducing a crisp first strike on the PR front with “the Fry Pod”, apple slices cut to look like fries, packaged in a traditional BK sleeve.
Posted By: Worker Bee
The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it is aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with cluttered food.
But, Fuming Fuji, you have to admit this pizza is kind of cool.
The Fuming Fuji says no!
The claim: Seriously, Fuji, get a sense of humor. It’s not like this pizza is really any less healthy than BBQ chicken pizza.
The catch: I do not have to admit this pizza is cool. Clearly, this pizza is merely tepid. Also, the Fuji is gravely disappointed in you for thinking BBQ chicken pizza is healthy. But I suppose I should not expect so much from creatures who create such confused food. The Fuji recommends psychiatric intervention.
The comeback: Um, I did not mean the pizza was literally cool. But I did mean it when I said you have no sense of humor. Get a clue, you overweening fruit. Maybe you’re just jealous because it doesn’t have apple slices on it. Nobody is claiming this pizza is something we should be eating.
The conclusion: Oh, really? Have you asked everybody? That is a universal and therefore impossible statement you have made. (I learned much in my Fumology studies, as everybody knows.)
Where was I? You have ruined my concentration with your terrible fashion choices.
Oh, yes! It does not matter if there is a claim of health. The pizza is being made, and people are eating it, and it is confusing! The Fuji will overlook your personal attacks and character assassination attempts because you are clearly annoying. Also, you are not green, although this cannot really be helped.
Listen to the Fuji: do not indulge this cluttered food! It is a slippery slope that will quickly lead to very confusing combinations!
The catchphrase: What is next? Southwest cinnamon rolls? Mojito lattes? Macaroni ‘n cheese tacos?
Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.
Hat Tip: FitSugar
Further Reading:
The Fuming Fuji Says No to Cereal Bars!
The Fuming Fuji Says No to Sea Bugs!
Technorati Tags: pizza, food, strange, bizarre, Japan, fast food, calories, oddities
Posted By: Worker Bee
The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it is aimed at the small fry. This week, El Fritter has decided to have a serious problem with Kellogg’s.
But, Fuming Fuji, you’ve been very vocal of late about your feud with David MacKay, Kellogg’s CEO. This seems like a thinly veiled attempt to lash out at your rival. What could you possibly have to gripe about when it comes to Kellogg’s? They just announced they’re making many of their foods healthier – and they will no longer be marketing sugary products to children under 12!
The Fuming Fuji says no!
The claim: Fuji, clearly this is personal. I don’t even want to hear it. In fact, I’m starting to think you just have a problem with breakfast. In the last six months, you’ve fumed against breakfast bars, breakfast cereals, breakfast waffles. Maybe you just need therapy, Fuji.
The catch: Clearly you are projecting. The Fuji cannot help you with that, he is not trained in psychotherapy. While MacKay and the Fuji have been feuding with a furor only outdone by Rosie and Donald, this has nothing to do with my anger over his hypocrisy. I am furious about the junk that Kellogg’s slings at the small fry! Big Agra’s tartlets of pop and not-berry death nuggets should not fool anybody, even you, my carbaceous foe.
The comeback: Rosie and Donald Trump, huh. I wouldn’t go that far. You’re an apple. Maybe Paris and Nicole, though.
Here’s my “carbaceous” opinion: So Kellogg’s will still be selling products they decide they cannot reformulate into healthier versions – yeah, maybe that’s a tad disingenuous. Okay, maybe a lot, actually. Wait, where was I going with this?
Oh, yeah! At least they’re not going to market unchanged products to kids, and they won’t be using cartoons to hawk the junkier stuff. Isn’t a little progress better than none? Snap! I think you’re just being stubborn, Fuji. Some would say obtuse.
The conclusion: Good for you and your knowledge of angles. Unfortunately for you I have the right angle. Ha, ha. That is a little geometry joke. I do not know this “snap” you speak of, but his cousin Crackle is a real little weasel, let me tell you.
Mark the Fuji’s words: Kellogg’s will not change very much. What little they change they will brag about like they invented Christmas.
The catchphrase: Kellogg’s: new and improved, because we didn’t feel like a lawsuit!
Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.
Hat Tip: Get the full scoop (food police lawsuit, ensuing settlement, ensuing “we felt like changing, no reason, really” announcement from Kellogg’s, and the ensuing blogosphere buzz) at the informative youth advocacy blog Shaping Youth. Thanks, Amy!
Further Reading:
The Fuming Fuji Says No to Cereal Bars!
The Fuming Fuji Says No to Sea Bugs!
No More Sugar-Coating: Mark on the Kellogg’s Drama
Technorati Tags: Kellogg’s, Shaping Youth, counter-marketing, children’s food, junk food, food police, CCFC, CSPI
Posted By: Worker Bee
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