Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.

Archive for the ‘ Raise Healthy Seedlings ’ Category

12 Dec

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Sports Drinks

FUJ

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with sports drinks.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, aren’t sports drinks really healthy, especially for child athletes?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Sports drinks replace lost electrolytes…and other stuff.

The catch: Sports drinks are sugar water. Fuming Fuji admits sometimes they also have dye and flavorings.

The comeback: But don’t kids need energy drinks, especially if they play sports?

The conclusion: Yes, children who run frequent marathons should drink sports drinks. When I was a young seed, I scuttled uphill both ways in the snow to school every day, and sports drinks really got me through. But 1 in 3 children are obese. 1 in 3 will get diabetes. The Fuming Fuji says sports drinks are less useful than Paris Hilton.

The catchphrase: Diabetes will never be an Olympic sport.

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.

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5 Dec

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Breakfast Cereals for Children

FUJ

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with the breakfast cereals for children.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, aren’t some breakfast cereals healthy?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Breakfast cereals are enriched with 9, or 11, or 13 vitamins and minerals.

The catch: Breakfast cereals are enriched with 9, or 11, or 13 vitamins and minerals that are not biologically active and also wash off in milk, plus 9, 11, or 13 chemicals, additives, preservatives, dyes and artificial ingredients.

The comeback: Can’t you just drink the milk? And besides, lots of cereals are made with whole-grain now. Come on, Fuji!

The conclusion:
Okay, you can drink the milk. It is a great way to get your daily serving of hormones, antibiotics and germs. Yes, cereals are sometimes made with whole-grain now. These same cereals are also made with sugar, sugar, and sugar. The whole grain has not replaced the sugar, only added to it!

The catchphrase:
Now made with whole grain…and still a lot of other crap!

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.

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30 Nov

The Sisson Spoof

Jests With a Twist of Apple

luckycharms

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28 Nov

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Chocolate Milk!

FUJ

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with chocolate milk.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t chocolate milk sometimes the only way to get calcium in a kid?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Chocolate milk has all the protein, calcium and vitamins of regular milk, and kids love it!

The catch: Chocolate milk has all the protein, calcium and vitamins of regular milk, plus it’s full of sugar!

The comeback: So it has a little sweetening. At least it’s getting kids to drink their milk, right?

The conclusion:
The Fuming Fuji cannot help those who believe in glorified dessert for tiny tots. Chocolate milk is a very mean thing to give your child. Milk is also mean, though admittedly not as delicious. Chocolate milk: all the fat, hormones and antibiotics of regular milk, plus sugar!

The catchphrase: Cow’s milk is for baby cows. Chocolate cow’s milk is for fat baby cows.

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.

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