The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with Nestle Crunch Sticks.
But, Fuming Fuji, you say, Nestle wants to make snacking more convenient and “keep consumers interested” with more crunchy sound and texture. Also, Fuji, it is Nestle Crunch Stixx.
The Fuming Fuji says no!
The claim: Crunch Bar has to satisfy baby boomers and kids as well as compete with new high-end chocolates. By making candy bars more convenient, consumers can continue to
buy enjoy Crunch.
The catch: By making candy bars more convenient? Is a candy bar really so difficult? This new Stixx product is even worse for you than the original and uses more packaging. The Fuji wants to know why Nestle hates both people and the planet!
The comeback: But Nestle wants to increase the brand’s “premiumness” for maximum enjoyment! This is about quality and choice.
The conclusion: Enough about Nestle’s needs! What about the Fuji’s needs? The Fuji needs to never again see such hateful snacks. What is so difficult about a bar that you now need four smaller bars? The Fuji wonders if the BK Chicken Fries people are behind this.
The Fuji speaks the truth: Nestle wants to increase profits because dark, healthier chocolates are now in the market and eating into their ugly vegetable-oil-filled wannabe chocolate. What Nestle should be worried about is buying a dictionary, because premiumness and stixx are not even words.
The catchphrase: Do not buy products that teach children bad spelling!
Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji. Or something.
Yo, Apples! It’s time for a little pre-spring cleaning. This week’s challenge is to clean out the (kitchen) closet. Empty your fridge, your pantry, the cabinets, and the deep freeze out in the garage. If it’s not healthy, if it’s not recognizable, if it’s older than the Clinton administration, toss it.
Don’t save unhealthy stuff “for the kids”, either. They don’t need that junk any more than you do. If you feel it’s wasteful, donate the items to your local homeless shelter or soup kitchen.
One of the easiest ways to be healthy and lose weight is to avoid turning your home into a minefield of temptation. Restaurants and movie theaters aren’t going to change anytime soon, but you can control what goes on under your own roof. So from now on, fill the freezer with frozen chicken breasts and veggies. Stock the cabinets with vegetable-based soups, low-sodium broth, canned tomatoes, almond butter, and olive oil. And make sure the condiments in the fridge are low in saturated fats, salt, preservatives, and sugars. As always, ask the Bees for help if you’re unsure about a particular item.
Diabetes goes portable!
Introducing Crispy Cones, the new portable obesity device hitting food courts everywhere.
I have to admit I’m baffled by the Crispy Cone website. Usually new food products don’t try to make a claim of health if they are obviously junk (processed meat, cheese and empty carbs? Come on!!!). I can cut “borderline” healthy foods like veggie wraps and Cesar salads a break. At least Tacone wraps are better than burgers. But this product is just ridiculous. Crispy cones are basically pizza and tacos in new packaging. And what packaging – processed, hydrogenated bleached flour!
The makers rave about the convenience, and boy do they brag about the no-drip capability of their patented (ooooh) cone. They even point out that hand-held food is – yes – environmentally-friendly. Okay…
When did food stop being a meal and start being something we do while we’re doing other stuff? I’m constantly amazed at how people eat while on the phone, driving, even in meetings. A generation ago, it was considered a pretty horrifying display of bad manners to eat this way, but I guess it’s what we do now. It sure hasn’t made us healthier or slimmer.
The fact that Crispy Cones actually insist on the health of their product is what gets me most. The laugh you will get from the “Go Healthy” tab of the website is worth the click. If this is healthy, God help us!
Worker Bees’ Daily Bites:
You won’t believe what we dug up!
1) Food producers are racist
Or at least really, really devious. Not only does the food industry use emotional marketing ploys to get to children, they devote trunkloads of money and research finding ways to manipulate every possible demographic. The latest target: “utilizing” the Hispanic market. May we point out a) Hispanic is about as accurate as Caucasian, and b) while it’s fine to figure out what your shoppers might want, the following example from an industry report is downright manipulative.
This isn’t at all about providing a service a shopper can benefit from; this is about finding subtle, effective ways to use people. The most shocking part of all? This isn’t top secret. There’s no leak over at Food Processors Are Us. No bug, no source, no spy. It’s right out in the open. Every food product and service imaginable has online resources with this type of information. These sites don’t get advertised because they are not intended for the consumer. But they exist. Check out the clickativity above to see the entire revealing report, which only gets better – or worse – the longer you read. Comes complete with cheesy graphics.
You didn’t read that wrong. Though it seems paradoxical, spending a little time in the sun can stimulate the very immune cells that prevent skin cancer. So go fry to your heart’s content! No, just kidding, don’t do that. But a little sunshine every day won’t hurt a bit.
So, it has come to light that Big Puff has been adding additional nicotine to cigarettes since the late 90s. (Nothin’ says “I don’t care” quite like “I’m seriously, completely, totally trying to kill you. And not just a little bit.”)
Experts say the only way to combat the rates of addiction is to copy Australia and slap cigarette packs with really huge warnings. At first, this might seem silly, but think about it: every food product down a pack of Chiclets has to include details on every milligram of what it contains, plus nutrition information. By comparison, it is a little odd that cigarettes don’t have to state much of anything – considering they kill you and all.
Web it out:
You won’t believe what deficiency disease is a growing problem in the richest country in the world (that’s us, by the way).
First Plan B, now the HPV vaccine debate. More states are considering requiring the shot for girls – and even boys. What are your thoughts, Apples?
Worker Bees’ Daily Bites:
The week’s off to an interesting start! Here’s the latest from the world of health.
1) Bird Flu Gets Real
From those news nuts over at The Lede: Culling has begun in the UK to curtail bird flu. Regardless, nobody should be eating chicken nuggets.
That’s Fit reports that kids are fatter than ever thanks to zero exercise and an abundance of junk food in everything from school cafeterias to Costco’s towering shelves. Is this a surprise?
We can all moan and groan about it, but better to be proactive. Maybe you have kids. Maybe you are a kid. Either way, these steps are non-negotiable when it comes to health:
- Daily exercise of some sort. It can be as basic as walking home from school, mowing the lawn, helping out with household chores, or walking the dog. But exercise is a must. Make it a requirement for TV and computer privileges. Worried about enforcing it? You make them brush their teeth, do their homework and occasionally even bathe. Add this to the list.
- Daily vegetable intake, preferably not fried. Whether you spend an hour on Sundays putting together baggies of veggie snacks, or whether you make them do it for themselves, get veggies into your kids! Kids love junk food. Their taste buds are literally wired for it. It’s probably not realistic to think they aren’t going to eat junk ever, but you can at least keep it out of the house. Always serve a salad for dinner, and keep washed fruit available at all times. Kids don’t mind peas or green beans – even the most finicky kids will eat a bowl of peas. Kids do crave starch, but keep those options green. Avoid the fries, tater tots, chips and other pale starches.
- Lie. Tell them eating healthy will diminish acne, mood swings and body odor. (Actually, it’s not even a lie).
- Enact and enforce a zero-tolerance soda ban. As far as your kids are concerned, soda is Satan.
Kids are gonna do stupid stuff – you can’t watch their every move. But you have more influence than you may think, so use it. This means setting a good example, of course!
Diet toffee? Tea-coffee? Hipster tofu?
No, TOFI stands for something else entirely, and it’s a…big…problem.
4) Enviga’s Going Down!
5) Making Single People Everywhere Feel Really Fabulous
Thanks, Scotsman. No, seriously, thanks. This study is small, merely highlights reasonable correlation (rating your own emotions: not exactly the gold standard of scientific inquiry), and also, it’s totally annoying. It makes sense that the more socially active and fulfilled you are, the healthier you will be. Studies prove that consistently. This is more about finding something sensational to whip up on a Monday. If we were betting bees, we’d lay good money that tonight’s news will start with: “Stay tuned: one more reason why you are doing everything wrong for your health!” Which isn’t really a risky bet, since that’s what they say every night. You’re not doing everything wrong. You’re here, aren’t ya?
6) Quote Me
Things Big Puff (that’s Big Tobacco, not Puff Daddy…er, Diddy…Diddly? Duddy?) really must regret saying. Thanks, Healthbolt. Also check out the Australian cig warnings. Subtle!
© 2013 Mark's Daily Apple | Design By The Blog Studio