Cheap, unhealthy, garbage food that plays directly into children’s fantasies?
General Mills calls it breakfast cereal. I call it manipulation. The Fuji calls it something that we just can’t print here. It’s a family show, after all.
Posted By: Mark Sisson
The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with Nestle Crunch Sticks.
But, Fuming Fuji, you say, Nestle wants to make snacking more convenient and “keep consumers interested” with more crunchy sound and texture. Also, Fuji, it is Nestle Crunch Stixx.
The Fuming Fuji says no!
The claim: Crunch Bar has to satisfy baby boomers and kids as well as compete with new high-end chocolates. By making candy bars more convenient, consumers can continue to buy enjoy Crunch.
The catch: By making candy bars more convenient? Is a candy bar really so difficult? This new Stixx product is even worse for you than the original and uses more packaging. The Fuji wants to know why Nestle hates both people and the planet!
The comeback: But Nestle wants to increase the brand’s “premiumness” for maximum enjoyment! This is about quality and choice.
The conclusion: Enough about Nestle’s needs! What about the Fuji’s needs? The Fuji needs to never again see such hateful snacks. What is so difficult about a bar that you now need four smaller bars? The Fuji wonders if the BK Chicken Fries people are behind this.
The Fuji speaks the truth: Nestle wants to increase profits because dark, healthier chocolates are now in the market and eating into their ugly vegetable-oil-filled wannabe chocolate. What Nestle should be worried about is buying a dictionary, because premiumness and stixx are not even words.
The catchphrase: Do not buy products that teach children bad spelling!
Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji. Or something.
Technorati Tags: children’s health, nestle, crunch sticks, candies, chocolate
Posted By: Worker Bee
Yo, Apples! It’s time for a little pre-spring cleaning. This week’s challenge is to clean out the (kitchen) closet. Empty your fridge, your pantry, the cabinets, and the deep freeze out in the garage. If it’s not healthy, if it’s not recognizable, if it’s older than the Clinton administration, toss it.
Don’t save unhealthy stuff “for the kids”, either. They don’t need that junk any more than you do. If you feel it’s wasteful, donate the items to your local homeless shelter or soup kitchen.
One of the easiest ways to be healthy and lose weight is to avoid turning your home into a minefield of temptation. Restaurants and movie theaters aren’t going to change anytime soon, but you can control what goes on under your own roof. So from now on, fill the freezer with frozen chicken breasts and veggies. Stock the cabinets with vegetable-based soups, low-sodium broth, canned tomatoes, almond butter, and olive oil. And make sure the condiments in the fridge are low in saturated fats, salt, preservatives, and sugars. As always, ask the Bees for help if you’re unsure about a particular item.
Posted By: Mark Sisson
Diabetes goes portable!
Introducing Crispy Cones, the new portable obesity device hitting food courts everywhere.
I have to admit I’m baffled by the Crispy Cone website. Usually new food products don’t try to make a claim of health if they are obviously junk (processed meat, cheese and empty carbs? Come on!!!). I can cut “borderline” healthy foods like veggie wraps and Cesar salads a break. At least Tacone wraps are better than burgers. But this product is just ridiculous. Crispy cones are basically pizza and tacos in new packaging. And what packaging – processed, hydrogenated bleached flour!
The makers rave about the convenience, and boy do they brag about the no-drip capability of their patented (ooooh) cone. They even point out that hand-held food is – yes – environmentally-friendly. Okay…
When did food stop being a meal and start being something we do while we’re doing other stuff? I’m constantly amazed at how people eat while on the phone, driving, even in meetings. A generation ago, it was considered a pretty horrifying display of bad manners to eat this way, but I guess it’s what we do now. It sure hasn’t made us healthier or slimmer.
The fact that Crispy Cones actually insist on the health of their product is what gets me most. The laugh you will get from the “Go Healthy” tab of the website is worth the click. If this is healthy, God help us!
Posted By: Mark Sisson
Worker Bees’ Daily Bites:
You won’t believe what we dug up!
1) Food producers are racist
Or at least really, really devious. Not only does the food industry use emotional marketing ploys to get to children, they devote trunkloads of money and research finding ways to manipulate every possible demographic. The latest target: “utilizing” the Hispanic market. May we point out a) Hispanic is about as accurate as Caucasian, and b) while it’s fine to figure out what your shoppers might want, the following example from an industry report is downright manipulative.
This isn’t at all about providing a service a shopper can benefit from; this is about finding subtle, effective ways to use people. The most shocking part of all? This isn’t top secret. There’s no leak over at Food Processors Are Us. No bug, no source, no spy. It’s right out in the open. Every food product and service imaginable has online resources with this type of information. These sites don’t get advertised because they are not intended for the consumer. But they exist. Check out the clickativity above to see the entire revealing report, which only gets better – or worse – the longer you read. Comes complete with cheesy graphics.
2) Getting a tan prevents skin cancer
You didn’t read that wrong. Though it seems paradoxical, spending a little time in the sun can stimulate the very immune cells that prevent skin cancer. So go fry to your heart’s content! No, just kidding, don’t do that. But a little sunshine every day won’t hurt a bit.
3) Hey! Now, these are REALLLLY bad for you. Before, they were just really bad for you.
So, it has come to light that Big Puff has been adding additional nicotine to cigarettes since the late 90s. (Nothin’ says “I don’t care” quite like “I’m seriously, completely, totally trying to kill you. And not just a little bit.”)
Experts say the only way to combat the rates of addiction is to copy Australia and slap cigarette packs with really huge warnings. At first, this might seem silly, but think about it: every food product down a pack of Chiclets has to include details on every milligram of what it contains, plus nutrition information. By comparison, it is a little odd that cigarettes don’t have to state much of anything – considering they kill you and all.
Web it out:
You won’t believe what deficiency disease is a growing problem in the richest country in the world (that’s us, by the way).
First Plan B, now the HPV vaccine debate. More states are considering requiring the shot for girls – and even boys. What are your thoughts, Apples?
Posted By: Worker Bee
Premium Content
© 2013 Mark's Daily Apple | Design By The Blog Studio
