Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.

Archive for the ‘ Humor ’ Category

7 Dec

The Sisson Spoof

Start ‘em young… Technorati Tags: spoof, Lunchables, Oscar Mayer, obesity epidemic, lunch, snack, children’s health, high sodium foods

5 Dec

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Breakfast Cereals for Children

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with the breakfast cereals for children. But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, aren’t some breakfast cereals healthy? The Fuming Fuji says no! The claim: Breakfast […]

4 Dec

Scientists Perplexed: Issue ‘Impossible Calorie’ Award

Here at MDA, we define “premium” as something peerless. Without equal. Really, really good for you – the absolute best. We believe in living life that way. Evidently, McDonald’s defines premium as peerless and without equal, too. As in, a really, really good way to get that nifty obesity look everyone’s working these days. Although […]

30 Nov

The Sisson Spoof

Jests With a Twist of Apple Technorati Tags: whole grain cereal, Lucky Charms, General Mills, breakfast

28 Nov

Semantic Salmon

Remember the bread-is-to-crumb logic section on the SAT’s? Or how about the interminable hours spent in Mr. Johnson’s English Lit class deconstructing the deeper meaning of that tree in that poem by that guy? The latest and greatest fish debate is worse. Environmentalists, food lobbyists, and fishermen and women everywhere are in a big huff […]

28 Nov

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Chocolate Milk!

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with chocolate milk. But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t chocolate milk sometimes the only way to get calcium in a kid? The Fuming Fuji […]

24 Nov

The Sisson Spoof

Technorati Tags: FDA, food pyramid, recommended food groups, daily values, nutrition recommendations

24 Nov

Smart Fuel After Turkey Day

SMART FUEL Today’s Smart Fuel isn’t any particular item. Instead, let’s address the real topic at hand: the mountain of Thanksgiving leftovers lurking in the fridge. Perhaps you really indulged yesterday and felt more like a stuffed turkey yourself than a human about to eat one. Or, perhaps you were the model of restraint. No […]

22 Nov

Quote Me, KFC

“KFC is dropping the KFC logo and going back to the name Kentucky Fried Chicken – with a new, updated picture of the Colonel. The new Colonel will be more realistic looking. This time he’s 350 lbs. with huge scars from his triple bypass.” – Jay Leno Technorati Tags: funny Jay Leno quotes, KFC, the […]

21 Nov

How Do You Say ‘No Shame’ in Spanglish?

I have to hand it to Taco Bell for being both devastatingly brilliant and unforgivably evil. In a new campaign called the Fourth Meal, they’re pumping the fourth meal (yes…“the meal between dinner and breakfast”) with a dazzling disregard for health, ethics, decency and taste. Normally, I tend to admire rebels and rule-breakers. I don’t […]

21 Nov

Scientists Perplexed: Issue ‘Impossible Calorie’ Award

Researchers at Orchard University are burning the midnight oil as they attempt to determine how a single slice of the Cheesecake Factory’s carrot cake contains more calories than any of the combo “pick a number” meals at McDonald’s. A professor leading the study quietly admitted to our reporters that we are probably closer to an […]

21 Nov

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Popcorn Shrimp!

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with popcorn shrimp. But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t popcorn shrimp rich in protein? I thought seafood was healthy! Aren’t we supposed to eat […]

20 Nov

Humble Goals

One more thing on fried Coke bonbons, from the creator’s mouth (who I am sure is a perfectly nice guy), one Mr. Gonzales: “The best I can hope for is that it’s the original and hopefully the best fried Coke out there.” Technorati Tags: fried Coke, fried food, weird foods

20 Nov

What – Lardsicles Didn’t Have Enough Carbs?

Just when I think I’ve seen it all, along comes fried Coke. Earlier this year I saw a major Southern California “quick service” food chain promoting their deep-fried fries. That’s right – fries that are breaded and … fried. I barely had time to recover from that one before fried soda burst onto the scene […]

17 Nov

Tuno? My Money’s on Mocky-Mahi Next

Why eat tuna when you could eat…Tuno? That’s what Peta is hoping you’ll want to do. They offer 10 reasons to eschew eating all our dear fish friends, from tuna to salmon (here’s the clickativity). In actuality, they offer two reasons, five different ways (human health, fish feel pain). I get a little peeved by […]

17 Nov

This Is a Cringe-Free Headline about Nuts

SMART FUEL Just like our beloved eggs (oh, what a nutritional ball of goodness), nuts are victimized by painful puns: Get Nutty! We’re Nuts about Nuts! You’re Nuts if You Don’t Eat Them! We don’t do that here. Nuts are a Smart Fuel deserving of some smart words. Here’s why we think nuts are great […]

16 Nov

Lobbyists

Technorati Tags: lobbyists, spoof, fast food, french fries

15 Nov

Skinny-Fat

Ladies, I’m concerned about the skinny-fat among us. You know what I’m talking about. Skinny-fat women might look nice in a v-neck, but they’d sooner crawl into a hole than expose an upper arm or leg. This is what happens when you become “skinny fat” instead of genuinely lean and fit (where the muscle and […]

15 Nov

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Donuts

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with donuts. But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t a donut now and then an OK treat – it’s better than a candy bar, right? […]

13 Nov

Scientists Perplexed: Issue ‘Impossible Calorie’ Award

Far be it from us to know how this is possible. Even scientists are scratching their heads like lice on mice. This time, it’s good old BK bringing you an impossibly-high-calorie meal. It would be funny, except it’s real. Tell them to knock it off! They’ll listen. This is the “meatnormous” morning catastrophe BK is […]

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