Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.

Archive for the ‘ Humor ’ Category

30 Jul

The Farting Sweating Wheezing Depressing Exhausting Disease-Inducing Life-Sucking So You Can Be Thin Again Medicine

FRIENDS LET FRIENDS GET FAT They say obesity is contagious now. (It’s all over the news.) Leading thinkers talk about idea viruses and memes in everything from marketing to sociology to DNA to evolution, so it was only a matter of time before the health industry chimed in. Obesity, we’re being told, is contagious, just […]

26 Jul

The Fuming Fuji Will Not Tolerate Cluttered Food

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it is aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with cluttered food. But, Fuming Fuji, you have to admit this pizza is kind of cool. The Fuming Fuji says no! The claim: […]

18 Jul

Because Blessing Us With His Music Wasn’t Enough

And here you thought chicken fries were bizarre. Nugget, you’ve been outdone. Inquiring minds want to know: what’s next? Chicken spirals, perhaps? Chicken braids? Or how about a lovely tray of chicken cubes? Technorati Tags: food, finger food, fast food

11 Jul

Clickativity: Deep Fried Pizza

Via fxcuisine.com An important part of any sensible weight-loss plan! On the agenda for today, Apples: Mark’s Primal Health column will hit the page tomorrow, because for today we’re bringing you some more can’t-miss weight loss tips. So easy, a pizza could do it.

10 Jul

Are Men Morons?

Apparently, when it comes to health, men can barely keep up with the family dog. It started out innocently enough. To wit: the old Carl’s Jr. ad that featured a forlorn dude in the bread aisle attempting to choose the best loaf. Classic. But it just snowballed from there. Oh, there were always the typical, […]

21 Jun

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Kellogg’s!

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it is aimed at the small fry. This week, El Fritter has decided to have a serious problem with Kellogg’s. But, Fuming Fuji, you’ve been very vocal of late about your feud with David MacKay, Kellogg’s CEO. This seems like a thinly […]

14 Jun

We Make Food That Tastes Like Other Food!

NOT-SO-SMART FUEL Remember when Mark blogged about the wilting of his Salad Love Affair thanks to the miraculous arrival of Flat Earth “healthy” chips? I happened upon this humorous review of one of the Flat Earth products: specifically, their peach and mango chips. The review is short and hilarious, so be sure you check out […]

12 Jun

McDonald’s Does Not Do Subliminal Advertising

Click on the McDonald’s USA pic above to view the video.  Picture Courtesy of McDonald’s We know this scandal is a few months old, but we still think it is deserving of the infamous Rotten Apple Award. Congratulations McDonald’s! It Was Simply a Glitch Iron Chef America Secretly Lovin’ It More Awards Are you lovin’ […]

6 Jun

Breaking News: Study Proves Common Sense Has Promise

WORKER BEES’ DAILY BITES HAS BEEN HIJACKED BY THE MONTHLY SHERLOCK AWARD. Some days, it’s just too easy. Teenagers Are Selfish, Study Finds Love Is Blind Self-Funded Study Shows Avandia to Be Perfectly Safe Diet Water: It Really Works! Shoes with Wheels Are Dangerous TV Watching Takes Away from Study Time Who knows what news […]

5 Jun

What Does 4,000 Calories a Day Look Like?

The average American consumes almost 4,000 calories every day and counting! That’s anywhere from 1500 to 2500 more calories than the average man or woman really needs (children and athletes have different needs). Translation: 3500 calories is equivalent to one pound. If you’re an “average American”, you could be eating anywhere from 12 to 15 […]

15 May

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Chicken Fries!

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it is aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with Burger King’s Chicken Fries. But, Fuming Fuji, you say, kids need protein! The Fuming Fuji says no! The claim: Fuji, I just […]

10 May

The Solution to the Bottled Water Problem!

How could I forget? Duh! Just Make Every Drop Count! An easy solution to the bottled water problem is to slurp soda and sugary drinks. I mean, sparkling beverages. The body gets thirsty, and liquids make it, you know, unthirsty, or something. Being thirsty is bad. Being unthirsty is good! This is healthy, and fortunately, […]

3 May

The Vegetable Conspiracy: Why You Should Avoid Greens at All Costs

How to Get Sick and Die, Part 2 The Definitive Guide Every convenience restaurant, processed food manufacturer and prime time commercial wants to help you get sick and die! Isn’t that nice of them? And so far – despite a major media vegetable conspiracy – we’re doing pretty well, too. Although, there’s still a lot […]

27 Apr

Evolution of the Tagline

While it’s admittedly not health-related, I feel I must share with my readers the trials and tribulations of creating a blog tagline. It’s gotten to a point where it’s beginning to take a toll on my keyboard, so while no one’s health is being harmed in this painful process, I have to say, I really […]

26 Apr

How to Get Sick and Die

The Definitive Guide: Part 1 Get sick and die. You know you need to. The government, dietitians and health experts remind us constantly – you simply can’t get sick and die if you don’t take the appropriate steps! That means logging plenty of hours on the sofa, eating your fill of fast food, and engaging […]

24 Apr

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Little Einsteins Cereal

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it is aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with Little Einsteins cereal from General Mills. But, Fuming Fuji, you say, kids need whole grain and calcium! The Fuming Fuji says no! The […]

19 Apr

1 Big Mac Is Worth 60 Pork Rinds

Morning, Apples! Our editor, Sara, pointed out a few great blog conversations going on in regards to fast food restaurants making – or rather, not making – nutrition information available (and subsequently gave herself an assignment!). We all had a lot of fun just now coming up with some not-so-pretty comparisons for this and future […]

17 Apr

The Fuming Fuji Says No to iDeserve Energy Pretzels

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it is aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with iDeserv Energy Pretzels. But, Fuming Fuji, you say, these pretzels give you energy! Why else would it say “Energy Pretzels” on the […]

12 Apr

Never Fails to Inspire

Have you gotten to know this little nutrition buddy brought to you by the FDA? If not, I think you ought to reconsider: – Like many of the processed foods we enjoy in this great country, the exact nature of Labelman’s, er, origin, is difficult to ascertain. Is he a popsicle? A hot dog, perhaps? […]

10 Apr

The Fuming Fuji Says No to 100-calorie Snack Packs

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it is aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with 100-calorie snack packs. But, Fuming Fuji, you say, these are sensibly-sized snack portions! The Fuming Fuji says no! The claim: Children need […]

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