Mark's Daily Apple

Scientists Perplexed: Issue ‘Impossible Calorie’ Award

Far be it from us to know how this is possible. Even scientists are scratching their heads like lice on mice. This time, it’s good old BK bringing you an impossibly-high-calorie meal. It would be funny, except it’s real. Tell them to knock it off! They’ll listen.

This is the “meatnormous” morning catastrophe BK is calling their Enormous Omelet Sandwich. Weighing in at 730 calories without sauce or sides, you’ll get 6 strips of bacon, two eggs, two slices of “cheese”, a giant refined bun, and a sausage patty the size of an ottoman. Comes complete with 410 calories of fat and enough sodium to keep the Titanic afloat.

Technorati Tags: fast food, breakfast, Enormous Omelet Sandwich, Burger King, high calorie meals, bacon, sausage, egg, carbs

Posted By: Mark Sisson

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Stretching, Defined

The Quote of the Day, from Pizza Hut’s website:

“Pizza can be a part of a well-balanced meal. Ingredients in our pizzas include protein, complex carbohydrates, Vitamin A and calcium. And, depending on the toppings you choose, our pizzas have items from all of the four major food groups – meat, dairy products, fruits and vegetables, and grains!”

And for dessert, have some Pop Tarts, because they’re fortified with iron and niacin!

Even better, have a slice of their cockroach-topped pizza for an extra protein boost:

Feeling some clickativity?

Technorati Tags: Pizza Hut, Pop Tarts, well-balanced meal, fast food, food groups, quote of the day, cockroach pizza, bugs in food

Posted By: Mark Sisson

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The Fuming Fuji Says No to Yogurt!

The Fuming Fuji is outraged by the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with yogurt.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t yogurt healthy in its wonderful bland creaminess?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Yogurt is a great way to get a serving of dairy, which we all know is full of lovely calcium, protein, and vitamins.

The catch: Yogurt is a great way to get a serving of gelatinous goop, which is actually full of sugar, antibiotics, hormones, chemicals, dyes, artificial flavors, and probably pus.

The comeback: But Fuming Fuji, yogurt contains healthful cultures like acidophilus bifidus.

The conclusion: Yogurt still has as much sugar as a Coca-Cola. Yogurt makers do not have to prove how much of so-called beneficial bacteria is in actual product. You need a lot more than they include. You can get more culture from a Steven Seagal movie. Yogurt is glorified dessert.

The catchphrase: Yogurt? Nogurt!

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.

Technorati Tags: Steven Seagal, yogurt, Gogurt, acidophilus bifidus, cultured food, fermented food, Fuming Fuji, Coca-Cola, sugar, children’s snacks, calcium, dairy, beneficial bacteria

Posted By: Worker Bee

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